If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where is the Random Game from? I'm not sure of the Game's gender. I suppose I'd like to think of it as a hermaphrodite; but, that may be just me. It certainly did tip the scales on one side this week, by reminding me of a certain time of the month. Despite the many kat fights (pun intended) some entries did manage to make their way onto the board. In fact, the board reached 30,000 posts this week, proving...well, nothing really.

First off this week, we have BaldGhoti's entry, which despite being in the margin for most of the week is receiving 10 tokens. Other less celebrated 10-token winners follow.
Subj: Re: BaldGhoti's Dead Thread
From: BaldGhoti
Hey, if you put the cursor over the "List Unread" button in the right place it almost says "List Undead" Cool, eh?

Yeah, I didn't think so either. (BaldGhoti)
* * * *
Subj: Re: Kosmo's Horn Cleaner
From: XXkOsMoXx
>>When I was little, I used to call hamburgers "hamboogers">>

Thanks a bunch, now whenever I eat a booger I will be thinking it's a burger, and that will ruin my appetite.
* * * *
Subj: Friends and family
From: Carcazoid
Most of my pals are guys, but I love my buddy Holly.
* * * *
Subj: Re: Repeatr621
From: Beaner3356
Hey Mr. PuddyKatz...may I have a word with you?

From one newbie to another....you should at least try to pick up on things here at the RG. Never, ever end a post with POOH. Try using something unique like some other people have.
ex.PAH! BAH!

You're welcome although I don't think that this will help you much....
* * * *
Subj: Re: ** I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it! **
From: MrMrsStry
>>what the hell is a tag anyways?>>

It's that scratchy material they put in the back of your underwear that lists the size and washing instructions. Like if you don't know how to wash underwear, you are already in trouble.
* * * *
Subj: Re: Random Arrows
From: ArrowsDeja
If I were a chicken, I think I would say "bow wow" because all the other chickens would say "cluck, cluck".
* * * *
Subj: You ever get the idea that something's wrong, but you have no clue what it is? EL SCORCHO "Rock and roll"
From: Tocadisco
Re: Oldstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!!

CurlyAnnT made the first post while impersonating Tocadisco, so I wasn't sure to whom I should give the tokens. Since I already gave Toca ten this week, and Carly has a winning post following this first one, it's very equal. Well, I'll give her a total of 20, you know, just so it's unfair.
Subj: Oldstyle, Freestyle, Random Jamdom!!!!
From: CurlyAnnT
I like to write songs. Here's my latest.

Aaaaat theeee Toca
Toca Banana
The coolest joint west of Atlanta

At the Toca
Toca Banana
Schmoozin' and bashin'
Gives me satisfaction
At the Tocaaaa...
* * * *
Subj: 1. Being in a position or in circumstances that place one under the power or authority of another or others
From: CurlyAnnT
So I've learned some things over the past few days:

Never leave a full cup of milk on your nightstand for more than a day.

Guys with nice cars and alot of money and good looks are all taken.

When your boss is a lesbian, you probably shouldn't accidently rub your breasts on her back when trying to sqeeze past her in a small walkway behind the register.

You can almost always get someone to buy something in order to recieve something else free...it's amazing.

Cordless phones really come in handy when you're trying to find out what your neighbor wants on her pizza.

Never answer the phone with, "Talk dirty to me baby"....it might be your mother.

The Prodigy CD is really funky fresh.

I have a hikki like thing on my arm, and I have no idea what it's from.

Goo called me from Kansas City on his new calling card.

That's all.

15 tokens to BabyLamms this week because I figure she could use them. I don't know the feeling of continually waking up and looking for a worm in my bed; but if her cats are anything like my one, she hasn't had a good night's sleep in over a year.
Subj: Why I didn't sleep
From: BabyLamms
As I was getting into bed, I noticed a long skinny "spaghetti-like" thing in my bed. I touched it, without thinking, and got completely grossed out. I thought my cat had worms again. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a napkin. After removing the worm from my bed, I proceeded to search the entire bed ten times over before I could comfortably lie down. I woke up a million times during the night, each
time with a cat right near me. (I have two... double the torture.) I left the worm in the napkin with a note for my mother to read in the morning. When I got up, I saw the worm still sitting there, with another note. The note said, "It's a broken elastic. Ha ha ha!" I was like, "Thanks mom." She called shortly after I woke up to make fun of me. Glad I have such a kind, loving parent

Two 30-token winners this week! Yay, Mr Onliner and SGood42. Just keep scrolling down, their entries do eventually end.
Subj: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
Contrary to popular belief, popular belief is always wrong.
* * * *
Subj: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
When I see an obvious typo, I look down at the keyboard to see how far apart the letter they typed and the letter they meant to type are, so I'll know if it was a typo or if they're just morons. It's really weird, soqetimes.
* * * *
Subj: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
Personally, I think Lorena Bobbit just watched "Highlander" too much.
* * * *
Subj: Mr Onliner Mocks You All
From: Mr Onliner
Here's what I think of you kids:

MagicClams? BABY LAMMS!
Tocadisco? MOCCHA FRISCO!
CurlyAnnT? BURLY MAN PEE!
BabyLamms? MAGIC CLAMS!
Krazyk242? LAZY DAY POO FOR YOU!
Lavoris49? ARORE US, ERNEST BORGNINE!
Caie Mac? SKY CRACK!
BaldGhoti? MAULED POTTY!
HO Myrrh? BOW HER!
CortJstr? SHORT MOLESTER!
Carcazoid? MARK'S HEMMROID!
Jlbkwrm? RAY BELL COOK PERM!
Tylered One? HIRED GUN!
USAmen? YOU BEST PRAY AGAIN!
Nyello? JELLO!
MitchRK? BITCH ALL DAY!
Repeatr621? PEA HEATER LICKS TOO FUN!
MrMrsStry? PISSED HER KISSES KEY!
Dante303? ENCHANTE, PEE OPIE!
Conade? BONE FADE!
Abazar P? SEEMS BIZZARE TO ME!
Kellie04? JELLY, MO' WHORE!
XXkOsMoxX? SEX SEX ROLSO SEX SEX!
Frgpuff? DIRG ROUGH!
LeonardABC? SKYNARD MAY BE HE!
MaLkNoX240? TOWEL ROCKS TOO PORTLY!
SGood42? YES, HOODS SHORTY JEW!
ArrowsDeja? MARROW'S BEIGE-A!
Astronia? BASS PONY-A!
PUDDYKATZ? MUDDY FATS!
Sammy3Nuts? SPAMMY KEY HUTS!
* * * *
Subj: Re: Goo's Life.......please leave yours at the door.
From: SGood42
Four out of Five doctors think the fifth doctor is a ripe bastard
* * * *
Subj: Re: PEZ
From: SGood42
>>Have you seen those new PEZ dispencers? They're flat circle thingies and they're electronic! I was so mad! How can they put a motor on a PEZ dispencer! That's so un-American!>>

but eating a piece of undigestable candy out of marvin the martains Trach hole is American??YES!!! Now I know why we really had that whole Revolutionary war thingee for...Taxation without repesentation my ass! Bring on the Pez
* * * *
Subj: Re: random thoughts....
From: SGood42
Ahem... ok I'm bored so this is what I do when I'm bored

Today I was out of money and I was driving around in my happy fun Nisan Pulsar O' love so I had to go to the drive ATM machine. i get to the machine and i realize "Hey How come theres braille on the drive up ATM machine...I mean do blind....." This is the point when I noticed the German Shepard and some sort of cane wedged under the wheel my car....................hmmmmm

If 7-11's are open 24/7 then how come they have locks on the slurpee machines and usually club you with something if you try to steal them

How come we drive on sidealks but park on front lawns....on no wait sorry thats only when drinking.

If Buttered Toast always lands buttered side down and cats always land on their feet what would happen if you drove a train into a building?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlight would it matter that you died hours ago from the lack of oxygen?

Why is it when you transport something by a car people go"hey look a package" but when you transport something by a ship people go"hey look a whale" and totally forget about yput package which was very important because it was for you Mother and Fathers 50th wedding anniversary and they will never give it and so they think you hate them so they die?

You know the little indestructable airplane meal that they give you. Why don't they just make the plane out of that?

If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime what do freedom fighters like for a snack before they go to bed?

What would chairs look like if our knees were actually on top of our heads and they had these little spiky type things coming out of them?

How come Ponybombs don't get mad and blow up when it rains?

When a cow laughs does an angel get its wings?

When you choke a smurf does its head pop off showering everyone in candy?

If you shoot a mime do you use a gun?

Isn't it a bit unearving that doctors call what they do" Having sex with the patient while they are unconscious?"

Ahh the pleasures of being bored

We almost had a third 30-token winner this week, but you tell me--does this first post sound like a very clever "Can I have tokens?" in disguise? So, Repeatr gets 25 tokens this week for that reason, and also so he'd be just out of reach of the 30 he so desires, and also because he constantly spells my screen name wrong.
Subj: Winning (not like I'm whining or anything.).
From: Repeatr621
Okay, recently I've been off in my posting. I haven't been doing so well. So now, I'm gonna work harder, so one day, I too shall become a 30-token winner.

Either that, ot become so obsessed with the Random Game that I'll spend all my free time posting. My friends will hate me, because I'll ever do is go online and post. I won't eat, sleep, or drink. I'll probably wind up dying before I get 30 tokens from HO Myrhh. If I die, it's all your fault. But you can still give the eulogy. There'll be plenty of food and beer and my funeral. You guys can come. I'll send you all
invitations. Cool?
* * * *
Subj: Re: The Random Feud
From: Repeatr621
Here's the lost "conclusion" to: THE RANDOM FEUD!!!!!!!!!

{Both teams in position to win the game. Non-C's in control. Lavoris's turn. They have two strikes or X's or whatever those things are called against them.}

HO Myrhh: Name the first thing your mother-in-law asks everytime she sees you.
Lavoris49: Bee!
HO Myrhh: Let's see, bee!

{Buzzer sounds.}

HO Myrhh: Okay, the "C"'s are going for the steal. Name the first thing your mother-in-law asks everytime she sees you.
Caie Mac: Where's that butt?
Conade: What's the address to your site again, deary?
CortJstr: 21-4-9'12 22-18-2-2-15?
CurlyAnnT: What's that on your back?
HO Myrhh: It's all up to you, Carc, my buddy. What will your family go with?
Carcazoid: How's the car?
HO Myrhh: Let's see, if it's up there. Let me see, "How's the car?"!!!!!!!!

{Buzzer sounds. Non-"C"'s celebrate.}

HO Myrhh: Who'll play Fast Money?
Mr Onliner: Me and Lav will.
HO Myrhh: 15 seconds on the clock. Name a vitamin.
Mr Onliner: B12.
HO Myrhh: Name a kind of toast.
Mr Onliner: Cheese.
HO Myrhh: Name a type of molecule.
Mr Onliner: Mouthwash.
HO Myrhh: Name a special time of the day.
Mr Onliner: NAKED TIME!
HO Myrhh: Name a sound effect.
Mr Onliner: PING!
HO Myrhh: Let's see how you did.
A vitamin you said: B12. 5 tokens.
A kind of toast you said: Cheese. 40 tokens.
A type of molecule you said: Mouthwash. 60 tokens.
A special time of day you said: Naked Time. 35 tokens.
A sound effect you said: Ping. 15 tokens.
Okay, Lavoris, your partner, Mr Onliner got 155 tokens. You need only 45 to win the big money and face our defending champs. Ready?
20 seconds on the clock. Name a vitamin.
Lavoris49: C.
HO Myrhh: Name a kind of toast.
Lavoris49: Cheese. {Buzzer} Pass.
HO Myrhh: Name a type of molecule.
Lavoris49: Mouthwash. {Buzzer} Caffeine.
HO Myrhh: Name a special time of day.
Lavoris49: Time for cookies.
HO Myrhh: Name a sound effect.
Lavoris49: Duh!
{Buzzer}
HO Myrhh: Let's see how you did.
A vitamin you said: C. 30 tokens.
That was the number one answer.
A kind of toast you passed 0 tokens.
Cheese was the number one answer.
A kind of molecule you said: Caffeine. 5 tokens.
Mouthwash was the number one answer.
A special time of the day you said: Time for cookies. 5 tokens.
Naked time was the number one answer.
A sound effect you said: Duh! 35 tokens!
You win!
{Chaos ensues. Mr Onliner gets hit in the head with a flying Mitch, while Krazy tackles Lav. Repeatr kocks himself to the ground.}
HO Myrhh: The number one answer for sound effect was Duh!
Now let's meet our defending chumps, I mean, champs, the Hacksim family!
Hacksim: I am Hacksim. The good guy.
Hacksim: I am El Pepe. I will destroy the Feud.
Hacksim: I am Hacksim 3. I don't do much.
Hacksim: I am Hacksim 4. I don't do much either.
Hacksim: I am Hacksim 5. I'm really dead.
Hacksim: El Pepe will rule all!
Hacksim: I will protect the feud!
Hacksim: Hah, I have Hacksims 4 and 5.
Hacksim: Well, I'm really dead.
Hacksim: C'mon Hacksim 3. Let's fight him.
Hacksim: ARRRGGHHH!!! He's got me.
Hacksim: OUCH!
Hacksim: OOF!!!
{Hacksim falls to the ground. Dead.}
Repeatr621: I told you cloning was evil.
HO Myrhh: I guess since the defending champs are dead, you guys are the new defending champs.
{Music plays. Credits roll. All members of the RG come on stage and dance foolishily. Except for Hacksim, who continues to lie dead.}
Hacksim: El Pepe will rule all!
Hacksim: I have survived!
{Hacksim falls to the ground again. This time definitately dead. And the audience cheers. All RGer's wave. Fade out.}

THE END!!!!!!!

That's it this week. However I just want you to know, if it were possible I'd give myself tokens for not calling this age The Period Period. Oh, I'm so proud of myself.