This week's winners celebrate nothing in particular. In fact, this was a pretty dull week. There were no new wars. There were no message board gliches. Which is fine, of course, but even picking on the newbies wasn't very exciting this week.

The first winner, USAmen, obviously has his priorities out of whack. You all could learn something from him. But, if you do? I'm not responsible. Oh, and, 25 tokens to him.
Subject: Man The Keyboards Monkeys!
From: USAmen
Hey, where is everyone? All doing your Sunday night homework or something? Whaddaya wanna be when you grow up, successful? If I could get through Georgetown Law and still manage to spend 5 nights a week at the bar playing pinball (and damn, am I good now!) you people could at least not let school get in the way of your obligation to write funny posts for the Random Game! This sucks! I'm going to the bar to throw a few darts, and when I come back maybe there will be some posts to read. ::hint hint::
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Subject: Re: USAmen's Hard Drive
From: USAmen
I went to a go-go bar last night and now I feel so dirty because afterwards my car had a flat tire and I had to change it in the rain.

Oh, I know something we could celebrate--the new board! Nah... But, here's a combined effort of an unoriginal post, done in jest, taken from the new board--a one time thing. Next time, regardless of the motive, I'll sic Ganjaa69 on you. And that's just the new board, do it on the old one and Hacksim might need to be called in. Scared? Anyway, 15 tokens to both SGood42 and Chriskolak.
Subject: NEWstyle Freestyle Random Jamdom
Quoted Part From: SGood42
Reply From: Chriskolak
>>WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE? OK I'M BEING RANDOM NOW SO CAN I HAVE ALL THE TOKENS?? IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME ALL THE TOKENS I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND LIKE DO REALLY BAD STUFF OR SOMETHING. OK WAIT I HAVE AN ORIGINAL JOKE...IF YOU SHOOT A MIME SHOULD YOU USE A SILENCER? OK I HAVE ANOTHER ONE.....I WAS JUST EATING BREAKFAST YESTERDAY AND IT OCCURED TO ME THAT IF BUTTERED TOAST ALWAYS LANDS BUTTER SIDE DOWN AND CATS ALWAYS LAND ON THEIR FEET
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU TIED SOME TOAST TO THE CATS BACK? HEY IF THERE ARE NO RULES HERE HOW DO YOU PLAY? >>

Wahoo I get to be the first to say

TAG!!!!

BaldGhoti and Mr Onliner get 20 tokens, too.
Subject: Re: "True Competitors"
From: BaldGhoti
>>Locate BaldGhoti>>
>>It's too long man. It's TOO LONG!!!<<

Many women scream this at me.
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Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
If I were Frank Perdue, I would walk around saying "I'm really just in it for the chicks." Then I'd go home, make a sandwhich, and have myself a good chuckle.
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Subject: Re: Mr Onliner's Cavalcade of Whimsy
From: Mr Onliner
People say I'm too self-critical. Which is probably true, since I'm such a JERK!

We could celebrate Frgpuff and Jlbkwrm--they both won something. Yay. Okay, so it's only 10 tokens; they still won. Yay.
Subject: If
Original From: Frgpuff
Reply From: Jlbkwrm
>>Ok you know that comic strip Dilbert? Well, if Catbert is a cat and Dogbert is a dog then what's Dilbert? Huh, i just cant figure it out.>>

A pickle?

Dante303 was going to win 10 tokens this week, too. Yay. But, I lost the header to her post. So, I'll give her 20 instead.
Subject: Re: a "can I have tokens?" post
From: Dante303
No, you are not sly, says I;

Your taggy post made me cry;

I did not like that post, says I;

You must truly be drunk and high;

To think you will get tokens? Why?

Go away, says I. Bye-bye!

Repeatr621 also gets 20 tokens, and I didn't even mess up his posts.
Subject: Re: men
From: Repeatr621
>>>Why can't I attract men like crazy instead of attracting crazy men??>>>

You're posting on the Random Game. Enough said.
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Subject: Re: What I hate.
From: Repeatr621
>>>Asians. Ruin the curve.
Those guys are born with instincts. They probably have a graphing calculator in the womb to hook up to the umbilical cord. If its an asian kid in the womb the mother could probably eat the taxes and they'd come out done.>>>

That reminds me of a story. My entire physics class got pissed off at me, cause I got 108 on the final before the curve and totally ruined it. HAHAHAHAHA. That's especially funny cause in my school the final counts as much as one marking period. HAHAHAHA. Oh yeah, I'm not asian. And I scored higher than the three or four asians in the class. So, DING!, I think your words are ready. Eat up.

I'm still thinking of things we could celebrate. How about AOL's incompetence? Yeah, that's always a good one. MitchRK gets 25 tokens.
Subject: AOL sucks, and other obvious statements
From: MitchRK
AOL SUCKS!!!!!!

But why do you say that, Mitch?

There I was, after typing an entry for this game, trying to come up with a subject heading I liked. So, I got out of my seat for a bit and stepped away from the computer for I don't know precisely how many nanoseconds, still trying to come up with a subject title for the fairly long entry I had already typed. Well, A***OL* doesn't like it when you don't focus all your attention to it every moment you are online, so before I can send in my
entry (in retrospect, it's no catastrophic loss in the grand, cosmic scheme of things, I suppose), A***OL* boots me off for "inactivity." I guess I should be thankful they didn't just cancel my account for inactivity.

"Whoops! You took time from your mad typing and frantic mouse clicking to scratch your nose. You have been logged off for inactivity."

"Sorry. You took your eyes off the screen. You have been logged off for inactivity."

"Your interest has been detected as waning. You have been logged off for inactivity."

"Hey, pal! There are other people waiting to log on in the middle of the night to write long posts and be booted offline before they have a chance to post or save it, effectively losing it forever. You have been logged off for inactivity."

"You took too long to drag your pointer to the Send button. You have been logged off for inactivity."

"What do you expect for only $19.95 a month? You have been logged off for inactivity."

The big 30-token prize goes to Carcazoid this week for his many posts to this thread. Here's just three.
Subject: Re: Carc's Lessons on Life
From: Carcazoid
Eighty (80) grit sandpaper should only be used on inanimate objects.
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Subject: Re: Carc's Lessons on Life
From: Carcazoid
As hangover cures go, an ordinary household claw-hammer is not recommended.
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Subject: Re: Carc's Lessons on Life
From: Carcazoid
Always respect your elders. Cash is preferred.

And finishing up this week are many more 10-token winners.
Subject: My Stupid Cat
From: CurlyAnnT
My cat Toes had kittens. Four of them. We put them in a nice little box with a towel in the bottom. She has had been nursing them there for approximately 2 weeks.
Tonight she picked each one up by the neck and dragged them to our bookcase. Then she put them underneath the bookcase. Then she realized she couldn't fit four kittens and herself under the bookcase. So she dragged them back to the towel covered box.
Some cats just don't have any common sense.
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Subject: Re: dammit
From: MarengaLea
I don't really like the tone of Ganjaa's posts and the way he puts down these people (not even making an attempt to be funny!) Now then, if I were him.... neh, bad example. Better to use the old standby............
SLAPSTICK AND POINTLESS SHENANIGANS! YAYY!
*hits Ganjaa in the face with a pie and blasts him with seltzer*

Did that solve anything? No. Did it have a point? No. But I really needed to do that to SOMEONE... besides, I have to keep up my title of Spreader of Joy and Demolisher of All Things Un-Nice and Un-Funny.
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Subject: Re: Walking in the woods
From: MrMrsStry
>>"If a man is walking alone in the woods and he's talking, but a woman is not there to hear him, is he still wrong??">>

Yes, and he needs to apologize and buy flowers...
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Subject: Random Thoughts of joy
From: Krazyk242
Random Thought of the Day

Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you're just friggin stupid.
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Subject: Re: My school
From: Nyello
That reminds me: You know the Village People? If they're gay, how do you explain their song "I Love the Women"? I mean, I know that they're gay--and there's nothing wrong with that--but this song has puzzled me for quite some time.

Oh, and while we're on the subject, I don't know whether you guys know about this children's book called "Hershall of Osterpool"--about a Jewish man who comes to a village where there is no Hanaka because the goblins forbid it--but my little brother really loved that book, even though we're not Jewish. So any way, at one point in it, it says "the village people wish Hershall luck" or something like that. And when I was reading it to my little brother and I came to that part, I just started sing "YOUNG MAN--GET YOURSELF OFF THE STREET! I SAID YOUNG MAN--THESE GOBLINS JUST CAN'T BE BEAT! I SAID YOUNG MAN--GET OFF THESE STREETS THAT ARE PAVED *IF*YOU*WANT*US*TO*BE*SAVED!!! SO THAT WE CAN CE-LE-EBRATE! SO THAT WE CAN CE-EL-EBRATE! SO GET YOURSELF CLEANED, AND HAVE A GOOD--" at which point my little brother became so terrified he ran out of the room. Well, I never have to read him another story again.
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Subject: Re: I was thinking
From: PTSNIPES
>>You mean to tell me that there are cons to casino gambling????>>

Oh...I thought he was talking about the cons that ran the casinos.

That's a hell of a lot of winners for an off-week. I think I may be sending the wrong message to you guys.