[Well, Krazyk242 was upset that she hasn't gotten subject headers named after her within the message board. So, here's a whole Age for you; satisfied?]
[You're all probably still suffering from a hangover after the celebration of the 10,000 post mark in the Random Game, so we are going to make it simple this week. 10 Tokens to RbdWombat for this reply to Krazy. Oh, and don't worry Krazy will get her share next.]
Subj: Re: Random Facts you never knew ( or probly did you smarty pants) about Krazy
From: RbdWombat
Those are very odd responses. Did you hear the questions right?
Are you responsable for the BeeGees? If so, why?
>>Yes, I am evil>>
Are you really paranoid about your addiction to sniffing markers, glue, et cetera
>>No, I do not sniff paint thinner>>
Do you know the way to San Jose? Who told you?
>>Yes, I do worship Batalaartaneer>>
Do you like to eat toejam pickle green eggs and ham sandwiches?
>>Yes, I do think you should too>>
So, I think you owe me $400 on last nights game. Heh heh.
>>No, I do not have last night's basketball scores>>
Anything to declare?
>>No, I did not kill Papa Smurf>>
Were you in my class picture?
>>Yes, I was on the grassy knoll>>
Do you think I should use a wood on Hole #12 at Pebble Beach?
>>Yes, I do recommend a drive to your local radioactive nuclear plant>>
What do you have to say to platform shoes?
>>No, I do not recommend that you come back>>
Where you the one dropping Hecklers Online winkie symbols from an airplane?
>>Yes, I would like to spread smiles all over the earth>>
Do you believe in peaceful protests?
>>Yes, I will do this by force, if necessary>>
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
>>Yes, I do carry a weopan>>
Can you show me how to take the blinking 12:00 from my VCR?
>>Yes, I do know how to use it>>
Do you have that Dali painting that is missing from the museum?
>>No, you may not see it>>
Have you ever had a vibrator?
>>Yes, it is currently in use>>
Do you know what it is like to love?
>>Yes, I am holding your teddy bear hostage>>
Can I have my microphone back?
>>No, I will not give it back. Suffer.>>
---The Rabid Wombat---
"I used "et cetera" in my post again!---
--The Rabid Wombat--
Cheif Head of Lettuce
[Well, Krazy: 3 and 1/3 tokens to you for each of the following 3 posts--that's 10 total if you don't feel like multiplying.]
Subj: The Downward Spiral of the Village People
From: Krazyk242
As I stare blindly into the computer screen, trying to make sense of the mass of confusion before me: the "you have been idle" notice, someone im me for my password,your empty buddy list- a constant reminder that you have no friends, and endless lists of random entries sent by people who have less a life than and I begin to contemplate the meaning of life. My dad's carefully selected background music of the Village People's "Macho Man" is not
helping. But never question one's father when he listens to Village People while polishing his gun. My brother could tell you that from experience. Well, he could if he were still alive.
KrazyK242
-----------------------------------
Thou hast forsaken me!
***
Subj: Random's Gate
From: Krazyk242
Now that the 10,000 approacheth, it is time to discuss something very serious. Now many of you beleive that the aliens came after the Hale- Bopp comet, and we all know that that was not true. In fact, the Heaven's Gate people had it all wrong- the aliens were coming after the 10,000 entry of the Random Game. Soon, it will be time to rise to the next level of randomness and we must leave our vehicles of bad jokes and posted instant messages.
Bring out the purple shrouds and castrations all around, the end is near!
KrazyK242
-----------------------------------
Thou hast forsaken me!
***
Subj: Poems that touch the heart.....and other places
From: Krazyk242
Let's take a moment to appreciate the deep, profound world of poetry.
CRACKHOUSE REVELATIONS
one pimp
two pimp
three pimp
four
big fat
hairy woman
knocking at my
door
Thank you
KrazyK242
-----------------------------------
Happy days are here again!
[Enough on the subject of Krazy. 10 tokens total to Conade for the next 2 posts. Yes, it's purely coincidence that her first post was in the margin for a couple days and is now receiving tokens. If it bothers you, I have included a second post. Think of that one getting 10 and the first one getting none.]
Subj: You want the day off? You can't have the day off!
From: Conade
So you want the day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking
for.
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52
weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving
only 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up
170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day
on coffee break that accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days
available. With a one hour lunch period each day, you have used up
another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally
spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days
available for work. We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available
working time is down to 15 days. We generously give you 14 days vacation
per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be damned if
you're going to take that day off!!!
-=-=-
For reply, send a self-abused stomped Antelope to Conade@aol.com.. please wait 4 - 6 years for replies.
***
Subj: Re: hot dogs
From: Conade
what's in them>>>
Pork, mechanically separated chicken, cow spleens, water, salt, corn syrup, flavorings, post no bills, dextrose, sucrose, glucose, maltrose, autolyzed yeast, odgen nash, sodium phosphate, paprika, eureka, sodium erythorbate, earthworms, sodium nitrate, great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, dirty little birdy feet, french-fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood (but I've got a straaaaw!), raisins, squirrels,
possums, mice, hair.. to name a few things..
-=-=-
"This is either great writing or one hell of a Chianti!" - Richard Karinsky, CitC
[In case you think you are starting to see a pattern, I'll confirm it. 10 tokens total to VicFirth00 this week for these two posts.]
Subj: Girah
From: VicFirth00
This is the only place I can write to my good friend, Girah, so ignore it.
The following letter is written to Girah in Gambo with the Language Gii
Deer Girah,
Hye gud fren. Ay am wun smort gii! Pso, hous dee giril? Plez riteba ckame B 4 dee end of dee wrld. Tanks.
Sin Cirily,
00
Pee ez. Doe ntdrink dee wata!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For your English-Gii translation dictionary, write to:
Trenslation depatmint
12 dat lane
Giradiia, Gambo, 90211
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
THIS IS MY SIGNITURE:
/\/ / \/\
***
Subj: NEW! Shorthands and smileys!
From: VicFirth00
America Online shorthand and smiley update April 1997
New Shorthands:
*YIMBFBILTGTTCATTIN
Means: Yeah, I may be forty, but I like to go to teen chat and tell them I'm 19.
*ROTFLOLBVSSF
Means: Rolling on the floor laughing out loud becaus VicFirth00 said something funny.
*IAL
Means: I'm a loser
*YCGTE
Means: You can't get tokens either?
*HOSAAMTAFWOBIHL
Means: Hecklers online stole away all my time after work oh boy I hate life.
*ASOSC
Means: Age, Sex, Original Sex check.
*AOL
Means: Allies offer lemons.
*IHWPPSTIHNIWTM
Means: I hate when people put shorthands that I have no Idea what they mean.
*ICMEETAD(T or A)
Means: I check my e-mail eighty times a day (Too or also)
New SMILEYS
* :------------------------------------------) ** Im lying about my age, thats why my nose is so big.
* :::::::::::::) ** Either "I am and Insect" or "Did you see ID4?"
* afcnasduipnljkjnsgalkjnalsjd ** I come from another country, what is this keyboard.
* (:))()()() ** I am a snowman.
NOTE FROM CREATORS:
If you see a new smiley or shorthand you don't understand, don't ask. You will be laughed at and sent threatening E-Mail, pictures, and sounds.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
THIS IS MY SIGNITURE:
/\/ / \/\
[And, um, ditto to ARTochsen--10 tokens this week. Since there was no quiz this week, you'd know I'd have to pick a poem to win.]
Subj: Randomania
From: ARTochsen
So this is The Random Game,
with postings both witty and lame.
Some long or absurd,
and some just a word,
but all seeking tokens or fame.
For beginners comes always the thought,
"What in Hell, is this game real or not?"
And with their first posting,
they're subject to roasting,
or being ignored as a snot.
Some posters are quickly offended,
and random careers often ended,
by hecklers most cruel,
graduates of this school,
perhaps that's what HO intended.
Most contributors seem quite inane,
and apparently immune to pain.
We're mostly immoral,
and frequently quarrel,
over who should be judged most insane.
Some member will start up a string,
and others occasionally bring,
a comment or jest,
that sometimes is blessed,
by HOMyrrh doing her thing.
HOMyrrh is the game's guide and leader,
but her income from this will not feed her.
If we took her advice,
we'd be classified "nice,"
so mostly we try not to heed her.
Yes this is The Random Game,
where everyone masks their name.
For if it were known,
they'd surely be blown,
to bits by their family in shame.
ARTochsen
ex pectorate
***
Subj: Re: Scribblings on the bathroom stall
From: ARTochsen
Years ago this was truly an art form. I've read many that must have taken hours to scratch into the wall surfaces. There were quite a few that became classics, such as "Here I sit all broken hearted" and "He who writes on crapper walls." They're pretty gross but some of you probably remember them. But that was before formica, steel and spray paint. And I guess people had more time to kill, too. Ah, the good old days. (But were they?)
ARTochsen
[I think I'm becoming predictible, so I'll just reinforce that you don't have to have 2 posts in this file to win 10 tokens. MitchRK, Lavoris49, and Maxerg each get 10.]
Subj: Something happened plywood work---I mean at work
From: MitchRK
Mub.
I wish to appologize in plate for---I mean in advance for this posting. Sometimes I suffer from a condition airplane I use---I mean where I use the wrong word occasionally. If it starts panda bother ---I mean to bother people, I'm lavender sorry---I mean truly sorry. I hope yesterday won't---I mean it won't happen too often, but I never trombone when---I mean know when it is deforestation to---I mean going to happen.
Several weeks bamboo I took---I mean ago I took a routine bus ride to placebo, and---I mean work, and my boss was egg the bus---I mean on the bus as well. He usually takes glue car to---I mean his car to the hesitate, so I---I mean office, so I wondered what intestines problem---I mean the problem was. I sat giraffe him, and---I mean near him, and asked him about wire, and he---I mean it, and he said he microscope a bet---I mean lost a bet
with one of symphonic other vice---I mean the other vice presidents, so he pie to take---I mean had to take the bus to sonic from work---I mean and from work instead of flounder. He didn't---I mean driving. He didn't say who the velcro vice---I mean other vice president throwing, but I---I mean was, but I figured it had to salt Mr. Blanchard---I mean be Mr. Blanchard, because he is xylophone of an---I mean sort of an environmental type. He
rides a moped to porch every day, and---I mean work every day, and brags about his fuel thunder every so---I mean efficiency every so often. I found out beer that I was---I mean later that I was wrong, and dehydrate instead it---I mean that instead it was Mr. Ogilve that reputation the bet---I drum won the bet---I mean mean won the bet with my boss. I schism a little---I mean was a little surprised, notwithstanding Mr. Ogilve usually---I mean
because Mr. Ogilve usually proclaims that beak should always travel---I mean executives should always travel to and from varnish in a proper---I mean work in a proper automobile to maintain the oat executive image---I mean desired executive image in the business world. However, I woolen that Mr.---I mean guess that Mr. Ogilve was more petroleum in taking my---I mean interested in taking my boss down a few pegs. Hop I agreed with---I mean
Naturally I agreed with Ogilve spigot that, but I---I mean about that, but I sure didn't plethora my boss---I mean let my boss know that.
___________________
MitchRK
I went to meet my maker, but I was stood up.
***
Subj: Re: Spring Break
From: Lavoris49
I feel kind of left out. I don't have any kids. I am a kid (or young lady). But, anyway, sometimes my mom seems like she's awake when she's actually asleep. It's a good time to ask her for permission for something or other at this time. For example:
"Mom, Mom." (nudging shoulder)
"Huh?" (eyes pop open)
"Are you awake?" (eyes close..she rolls over and mutters something unintelligible)
"Mom, Mom, are you awake?" (nudging again).
"Huh? Yeah." (she opens her eyes to stare at her child, seeming fully awake at this point)
"May I go hang out with that group of delinquents smoking pot and swearing on the corner?"
"Yeah."
Once my younger brother asked, in a scenario like the one above, if he could make brownies at midnight, when the kitchen was a mess besides. She approved his plan in her mock-awake state and then was angry and bewildered when she got up around 1:00 am.
Another time, my younger brother (he is usually the one who employs this strategy) asked her if two of his friends could spend the night at our home when she was not fully awake. She was very startled the next morning to find them in his room. He pleaded that she "had said yes", and she instructed him never to ask her permission for anything while she was asleep again.
I, the good kid, rarely have been weasely enough to willingly ask my mother anything while she is sleeping, especially just to get her to unknowingly approve of some activity that, if awake, I am fully aware she would say no to. My brother likes to try and trap her; she is not often amused at his "cunning". This, as I have tried time again to explain to my brothers, is why I never get punished -- I never do anything wrong.
***
Subj: Where am I? Is it day or night?
From: Maxerg
Have you ever taken a nap at about 3 in the afternoon (or earlier or later, this is just a random number) then when you wake up, you can't remember anything? I hate doing this. I quit sleeping during the day. I tried to quit sleeping during the night too, but my cat told me on about the 3rd day (I like 3) that he would take revenge on a poor shrubbery if I didn't go to sleep and provide him some nice warm feet to lie on. I decided to sleep, not
because of the shrubbery, which he ruined anyway, but because that's the proper thing to do when cats talk to you...or anyone else for that matter. Once my mother took a nap at about 3 (see above) {I was in the 3rd grade at the time...well, maybe a couple of grades higher} and when she woke up, she thought she had slept in and was late for work, so she jumped up and asked me if it was day or night. In fact her actual words were: "Is it day or
night? Day or night??' I of course replied, 'It's today" She seemed reassured by that, but she never again asked me what time it was after waking up from a nap. I wonder why. My cat likes to sleep almost as much as I don't like to, although I do like to have dreams, they're groovy... I think every post should include at least one use of the word groovy. That'd be groovy. Well I better cook an egg or 3 (3 eggs would just be gross, unless they
were poached with a side order of bacon).
Maxerg
~~~~~~~
The girl who's just a shaved cat away from total insanity.
[Finally this week, I'd like to prove that you didn't need long posts to win tokens. TootLoops and MacLeigh will share 10 tokens equally--that'd be 5 each. Well, I couldn't give them 10--the posts are too short...]
Subj: Re: I AM DISAPOINTED!!!!!!!!!
From: TootLoops
No Tansa I did not respond to the subject with the word Cookies. But if you notice I am responding to this one, the main reason being that I thought you were one of my parents, they said that to me a lot.
~~~~TootLoops~~~~
\\|//
(o o)
~~~~~~~oOOo~(_)~oOOo~~~~~~~
Official seal of the Campaign Manager
***
Subj: Re: ssenmodnar s'ti
From: MacLeigh
>>From: GRIMLCK
Message-ID: (19970404035200.WAA13272@ladder01.news.aol.com)
!!!modnar taht lla yllaer ton<<
Just another newcomer proving that the belief in the anti-random is merely backward thinking!?!
__________________________
;-0 :-) ;-0 :-) ;-0 :-) ;-0 :-)
Tell me, are you inCARCerated;
or have you ever been inCARCerated!
[I'm lying about that last thing I said; please don't start submitting novels.]