Subj: rand
Date: 96-08-08 09:56:42 EDT
From: HO Theme
To: HO Chicago
Sent on: WAOL 2.5
My paranoid fantasy: One day WLW Trob, BioChick, CivilWar, and Leurenne14 will team up and win all the contests. (LtJG RJ2)
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The Ebola Virus. Catch the Fever! (LtJG RJ2)
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G'bye, and thanks for all the fish! (LtJG RJ2)
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If the rule is... I before E exept after C...Then how did someone like Einstien screw it up? (Sporq)
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I discovered a sure fire way to annoy the hell out of any parent. Get the family cat, or a small dog, and cook on high in microwave for 10 min.
(Sporq)
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Help me, Zsa Zsa! (LtJG RJ2)
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We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz. If ever, oh, ever a wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because, because, because, because, because, because, because of the wonderful things he does. Yadadadadadada da da. We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!
Do you have an appointment? (LtJG RJ2)
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I own and operate over fifteen thousand nuclear reactors in my basement. I like them because they vibrate. (LtJG RJ2)
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no more John Tesh, no more John Tesh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Laurenne14)
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My cat gets upset when I go on the computer because I'm not paying enough attention. He pries the phone cord from the computer with his teeth. (Laurenne14)
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pizza, I NEED pizza. (Laurenne14)
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I'm allergic to chocolate, does that mean now I have to eat Mocklate???????? What the hell is that stuff? Is it made from a yak as I suspect? (Laurenne14)
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Anyone else think Delta Burke resembled Scarlett O'Hara? (Laurenne14)
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Buy "The Punk Walrus Saga" (Griglars)
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Fidelity Magellan soared 1,302% in the last 15 years. Which funds will match that feat in the NEXT 15? See page 36... (Dante209)
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hi Mike (Dante209)
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Or would you rather be called Troub? (Dante209)
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I'm real Tocadisco. Realer than you'll ever be (I have no idea what that means). (Biochick1)
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Hey, you know that "Tocadisco" means "Touch a record"? Hmmmmm. (I have no idea what that means.) (Biochick1)
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Am I a prognosticator or what? Here I write about Jack Handey, and just a few lines later, comes our buddy WLW, with some Handisms. (For all of you poor unenlightened souls out there, Jack Handey is the "Deep Thoughts" guy. Remember on SNL, "Deep thoughts...by Jack Handey" and then the pretty music with the pretty scene). So, Troub, what's the deal? Ran out of clever things to say on your own? I know, I know, it's tough having to come up with witticisms, day after day, but Troub, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT! Jack Handey should be coning to you for inspiration, not the other way around. So put down your little book and put on your thinking cap. We're all routing for you out here! (Biochick1)
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Y'know Tocadisco, it hurts, it really hurts that you don't think I'm real. Sure, I try to be cool and sly and cocky, but inside I'm just a scared little girl, holding on to reality like a 16 year-old boy holds on to the VCR control when he's watching a porno movie and his parents are home. And here, you come along and make me question myself. For if the all-knowing Tocadisco doubts my existence, maybe I *really* don't exist. What right do you have to make me question my very being? As if life on this spinning globe isn't tough enough. Damn you Tocadisco, damn you. (Biochick1)
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I don't eat garlic because I like it. I do it to scare off the vampires away. (Biochick1)
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Books not to buy:
Biochick1's Efective Spelling Tips
WLW Troub's guide to dating
Tocadisco's Existential Treatise
The Story of Sporq
How to Pick a Good AOL Name - by ELYN42
Humor Through Repetion - Heckler X
(Biochick1)
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Y'know what? (Biochick1)
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Chicken butt. (Biochick1)
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When we were young, my brother and I used to play a simple little game called "I can be annoying." The rules were fairly simple, in fact there was really only one rule. The person who was the annoyer would chant, "I can be annoying. I can be annoying. I can be annoying." over and over and over again. It worked especially well when the annoyee was five minutes from the end of their favorite tv show.
Maybe on some level, I enjoy the random game because it lets me relive my youth. (Biochick1)
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I CAN BE ANNOYING! ICAN BE ANNOYING! I CAN BE ANNOYING! I CAN BE ANNOYING! I CAN BE ANNOYING! I CAN BE ANNOYING! (Biochick1)
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I would just like to say that I wrote that last entry without using the edit key, I actually typed out each letter. I did however, use the "Caps Lock" button, so if that makes me a cheater, so be it. (Biochick1)
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Hi mom, hi dad! (Tocadisco)
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Quotes of the Day:
"Look ma, no hands" - Child who had too much fun with a chainsaw
"Bob Dole loves M&Ms" - Bob Dole
"Scavedado, baby, scavedado" - Anonymous (Tocadisco)
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Look, Biochick responded to my cynical view of Random game.
(Subj: Oh yeah baby - I'm real, really really real!
Date: 96-08-06 17:10:25 EDT
From: Biochick1
To: Tocadisco
Call me silly, stupid or lame.
Call me a mean hurtful name.
Tell me I'm ugly or short or fat!
But question my being?? - oh don't do that!!)
I'm sorry, real sorry Biochick. I should have never doubted your existed. I want to know more about you, Biochick, and your Biochick ways.
(Tocadisco)
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Have you heard? Disco is making a comeback! Well..... (JaneDoe68)
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......maybe somewhere it is. (JaneDoe68)
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I have no idea what is going on here, but that seems par for the course. Still, any chance to rack up free hours, eh? (IGiveIn)
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I'm a duck. NO WAIT, I'm a chicken. Yeah, chicken. Hmmmmm, maybe I am a duck. A big duck, with a lotta feathers. Yeah, duck. Duckbilled Platypus. Donald Duck. Donald Trump. Trumps, I win. Winnebago. Won a bagel. Look at that bay gull. The seagull by the bay. Bombay. Bombs away. Up and away. What comes up, must come down. Downtown. Town hall. Hallway. Halfway. Wade Boggs. Bog. Fog. Fog by the bog. Bog in the fog. Gof eht ni gob. That looks German, Herman. NO, its BOG IN THE FOG backwords. But it sure looks German. Aren't we all a bit German. I guess not. People from Germany are German. At least some of them are. There are some Irish people in Germany. There are some Germans in Ireland. There is Ice in Greenland. I own a parakeet in Iceland. "OUCH" - That hurts. Kiss and make better. Better, best. Super. Superman. Christopher Reeves. Keanu Reeves, can't act. I can't spell. Tori Spelling (talk about bad acting). More like, Spoiled Spelling. Spoiled milk. Milky way. Galaxy. Its a big universe and I wouldn't want to clean it. And so ends my catechism. Drive safely and drink plenty of fluids. Quack, quack, I am a duck. (Return to beginning) (Tocadisco)
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Whatever happened to NKOTB? I miss them! (JaneDoe68)
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I'm probably one of the few people who will admit something like this..... I've been to a Milli Vanilli and NKOTB concert. AND IM PROUD, DAMNIT! (JaneDoe68)
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No, wait I'm a chicken (Tocadisco)
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DUCK (Tocadisco)
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Five bucks for that ham sandwich. (Tocadisco)
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Im a Democrat. You're a Republican. Let's be firends. I'll hug your elephant. You kiss my ass. (Qnotebass)
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Life is like a penis....once it gets hard, screw it. (Lonelytear)
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When the world hands you lemons make lemonade; but when the world hands you crap, please don't make a drink out of that. (Sanguis)
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Sgood42: I was just wondering...if women ran the pentagon would missles be shaped differently? (SGood42)
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Sgood42: Do you ever wonder that maybe the monks have it all wrong and maybe htey were supposed to be CELEBRATING all this time? (SGood42)
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I was listening to my CD's and I heard this verse: "I was feelin' so high, I forgot what day. Now I'm feelin' low down, even slow seems way to fast. And now the booze won't work, 'cause the drugs ran out of gas." And I realized it outlines my life exactly. (Kheetah)
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I was feeling very philisophical the other day and I realized, why would anyone want to commit suicide. There are still plenty of people left in this world to piss off. (Kheetah)
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Pickup line: F*** me if I'm wrong but don't I know you? (Sanguis)
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Hey! I am Jenny and I am cool (Pixie6915)
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I hate to break it to you all, but BIOCHICK and WLW Troub are the same person. Now don't you all feel dumb? (WLW Troub)
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A long long time ago, there was a little boy who loved peaches. (WLW Troub)
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I am afraid to die. (WLW Troub)
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If I were a puma, I would hope to be the animal and not the running shoe. (WLW Troub)
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I
(WLW Troub)
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HATE (WLW Troub)
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it (WLW Troub)
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when people post this way. Have you ever won that way? NO. So stop!! Today is bitter day and I hate you all. Post right....Dammit. (WLW Troub)
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My name is Mike and I am in the Bitter barn. (WLW Troub)
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Welcome to bitter barn...can I help you? (WLW Troub)
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Suicides? Floor two.
Oh I'm sorry, did you say Fatricides? That's East wing.
Yes, it is a big bitter barn, there are a lot of us. (WLW Troub)
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Would you like gries with that? They clog your arteries and bring you closer to death! (WLW Troub)
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I think I spelled FRIES wrong on that last one. Can't tell though. Hope I didn't. (WLW Troub)
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Who came up with spelling bees? Bees cannot talk let alone spell. As if. (WLW Troub)
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Remeber Tiffany and Cyndie Lauper? Me too. (WLW Troub)
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O LOKE TO OTE. OPPLES OND BONONOS. (WLW Troub)
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If you didn't sing the song in Elementary it didn't make sense. (WLW Troub)
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a great man., (WLW Troub)
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Larry the Liver is not only a big helper in digestion taking up most of your body cavity, but he is also a safe home for Gary Gall Bladder. Thanks Larry for all your Help!!!! (WLW Troub)
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You shouldn't be embarassed of your rectum.....everyone has one. (WLW Troub)
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If you are ugly, you should join the KKK. They wear those masks and all. (WLW Troub)
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l bet there are a lot of oompa loompas in the KKK. (WLW Troub)
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I love driving around town looking for the gas pump that is one cent cheaper than the rest. (WLW Troub)
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It's usually CLARK. (WLW Troub)
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Shannon Miller needs to stuff her bra or something. (WLW Troub)
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Along with being bitter day, today is also not funny day. I'll try again tomorrow. (WLW Troub)
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TEN WAYS TO BE COOL ON A HOT DAY
1. Stick your head in the freezer.
2. Walk your dog in birthday suit.
3. Open all windows when you' re driving into carwash.
4. Set a new record of eating the most ice cubes in 1 minute.
5. Use my dad's method to check the temperate: If the back of your neck and shoulders are hot, it is about 80 to 90 degree, if your arms feel hot then it is about 91 to 99 degree, if your face is hot then it is about 100 to 105 degree, and if your forehead is hot, get your ass in the air-conditioning house!
6. Stand in your front yard and scream, "Oh my lord! I'm getting a heat stroke!" then pretend to faint. That way, you might has a little chance to be carried to a cool hospital in a cool amblumance. (Forgive my spelling, for it is 1:01 am now, who can blame me?)
7. Sneaking out the house for skinny-dip in a public pool. (When nobody is there, of course)
8. Take out your calendar (if you have one) and begin to count down to the first day of fall.
9. Buy a biggest fan in the town and put in your bedroom so you'll have a nice sleep. (Also buy a earmuff)
10. Go to the mall, duh! (Sour Soda)
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Biochick, if you think you are so smart, then why are you waste your time in Heckler Online, trying to win a free hour when you can go to someplace else where you can answer a stupid question and win BMW car or million dollars?
(Sour Soda)
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What's a so big deal about the random game? They would just spend their valuable time typing in some most ridulcous quotes, sentences, or whatever and they'll win a free hour! I can't believe it! This game is much more easier than my sister's Lion King gameboard. (Sour Soda)
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You know what? I never ever killed anyone in my life... (Sour Soda)
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Help me AOL just crashed and I'm trapped in all the rubble! (Blade3200)
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I like Biochick. (MagicClams)
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I don't think I'll kill her in the great culling. (MagicClams)
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The rest of you had better watch out, tho.... (MagicClams)
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Death is when you get so bored that you'd rather sit in a box and have worms eat you than see another damn Pauly Shore movie... (MagicClams)
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I often wonder who is more foolish, the fool, or the man who follows him....I think it's the fool, cuz I mean, he's a FOOL for chrissake! That's like what he is! (MagicClams)
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If you looked like a duck, talked like a duck, felt like a duck, smelled like a duck, and tasted like a duck, you could fool just about anyone into thinking you're a duck....but I'd know better.....so don't try nothing..... (MagicClams)
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I like the word "Gyrate". It reminds me of all the pretty girls on "Soul Train". Same thing goes for the word "lumpy". (MagicClams)
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A lot of people used to think I was ugly cuz little kids would start to cry whenever they saw me. (MagicClams)
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I know better, though.... (MagicClams)
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They're really crying cuz the last time I saw them, I gave those kids the beating of a lifetime....... (MagicClams)
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Am I the only one who only enters this contest when he's really drunk? (MagicClams)
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Who's to say what's sane, and what's not? (MagicClams)
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I think it's David Hasselhoff...... (MagicClams)
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Hey Chatterbox! Less talkie-talkie, more drinkie-drinkie! (MagicClams)
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Is it possible to taste your own tongue? If not, will you do it for me? (MagicClams)
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I'm not wearing any pants....film at eleven. (MagicClams)
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Ya know why you never win the random game, Tocadisco? Not enough fudge in your diet.... (MagicClams)
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Some people tell me that I shouldn't spend as much time smelling myself as I do on a daily basis, but I usually respond by saying, "Hey, are YOU going to do it for me????" (MagicClams)
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Frogs have bellybuttons too, ya know?! All you damned anarchists need to realize that! (MagicClams)
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The reason everyone has a problem with ignorance is that it leads to questions that people don't know how to answer. How many times has a little child asked you a question you don't know the answer to? Now, think about how many times a co-worker has...... (MagicClams)
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And forget about all the times that co-workers have asked you, "What are you doing with those panties?" (MagicClams)
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Would you rather have every person on earth smell like fish, or have every person on earth sound like Don Knotts? (MagicClams)
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Don't just think about what's best for you....think about what's best for your children. (MagicClams)
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But not for your children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex..... (MagicClams)
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If there is no sound in space, how come I can hear all those aliens screaming as they hit the sun, HMMM? Got an answer, Mr Science Man?????? (MagicClams)
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The grass grows at dawn when the hawk flies by the clown in the birthday suit (MarciJo)
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When nihilists go mountain-climbing, they scale the ItdoesntMatterhorn. (They don't use ropes either.) (PltDownGuy)