Why is there brail numbers on the drive up ATM machine? (Heathervwv)
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Why thank you CurlyAnnT!!! Why, I am shocked...someone thinks I'm funny! Well, here...you deserve a...umm....rose...but...uh...sorry, I have no money...here, take a moth. {flutter} (JaguarMel)
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Well, it seems my beatles singing has gotten a record number of praises...1!!! Yaaaay me!! OK, so, what should I sing for my tour? (JaguarMel)
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Maybe I can get WLW Troub to sing with me...how bout it mike, you pick the beatles album, I pick the song!! :)~ (JaguarMel)
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Well, I have gotten a record number of praises for my singing....1!!!! Yaaaaay me!!! Whoooo hoo!! So, what should I sing for my oncor? (yeah yeah I know I spelled it wrong...my mind isn't functioning properly, so just SHUT UP!!!) (JaguarMel)
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Hey, maybe I can get WLW Troub to sing with me.... how bout it mike? You pick the Beatles album, I'll pick the song!!!!! :)~ (JaguarMel)
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You know, some people think I'm a one-ride pony, but I'm gonna proove them wrong. Wait...maybe I should have phrased that differently (JaguarMel)
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Oh well. Anyhow, some people say I just know Beatles songs. But no, that's not all...you can also get the complete Weird Al Yankovic sing along for the LOW LOW price of NOTHING!!! (except for AOL fee. No CODs.) (JaguarMel)
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That's right, folks, for the non-limited time, you can not only get Melissa singing nonstop Beatles songs, you can get her to sing any, that's right, ANY weird al yankovic song!! (JaguarMel)
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"As i walked through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain...but that's just perfect for an amish like me, you know I shun fancy things like electricity. At 4:30 in the morning I'm Milkin cows...Jebodiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool. And I've been milking and plowing so long that even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone. Been spending most our lives living in an amish paradise.....churn butter once or twice living in an amish paradise..." (JaguarMel)
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And much much more!!! That's right, Melissa owns every Al album there is to own and yes, she's got them all in her head too. Like "Harvey the Wonderhampster," "living with a Hernia," And Much much more!! (JaguarMel)
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Anyway...so how come I never get my own title???? How come I never get at the top of the list?? PUT ME ON IT!!! i WANT MONEY!!!! (JaguarMel)
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Anyway....I hope to be hearing from WLW or Tobasco or whatever his name is soon, so that we can settle this Beatle thing. See you all tomorrow (JaguarMel)
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Women...can't live with 'em... can't shoot 'em. (DumbMikey)
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He was a multi-millionaire ... Wanna know how he made all of his money? ... he designed the little diagrams that tell you which way to put batteries in... (DumbMikey)
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I bought some batteries... but they weren't included... so I had to buy them again. (DumbMikey)
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I you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses. (DumbMikey)
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. (DumbMikey)
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There's,like, this chick in my 3rd period class, I think she digs me. (IZZO)
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She's hot. (IZZO)
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She has a beautiful face, gorgeous eyes, long legs, and an ass that won't quit. (IZZO)
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What happened to French Bread? I want another chapter dammit! (IZZO)
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I think I'm in love... (IZZO)
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I hope she doesn't find out about all those restraining orders though. (IZZO)
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Bonjour, donnez-moi free time, ou preferz-vous aller a la diable? Je ne sais pas francais tres bien. Ok, I just want my goddamn freeeeeeeeee tiiiiiiiiiimeeeee (Laurenne14)
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Who let YOU in here? (Lonelytear)
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I am the mighty Tiki God...you must obey. (Lonelytear)
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Did I introduce you to my other personality, Bob? (Lonelytear)
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Are you sure this is totally RANDOM? Looks like favortism to me... (Lonelytear)
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You put your left hand in,
You put your left hand out,
You put your left hand in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey and you
turn yourself around
That's what it's all about!
Hmm, are they really sure about that? Seems kinda sexual to me. (Lonelytear)
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Now THIS is entertainment! (WriterBoy9)
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I think it's funny that people just turn on you. I can't think of any examples now but....oh wait ......here comes one......the whore formerly know as JAGUARMEL!!!!! (WLW Troub)
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Now who missed me? Really? Ok, I get the point. (WLW Troub)
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Do you think the world would be a better place if we all used NERF weapons? Less death..... (WLW Troub)
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I hate it when people draw little faces and pictures with their computers. Come on, get a drawing pad!!!!! (WLW Troub)
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There are four types of orgasms.....
1. the positive "Oh yes!"
2. the negative "Oh no!"
3. the holy "Oh God!"
4 and the fake "Oh Magic Clams!!" (WLW Troub)
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Sometimes, at these really low points in my life, I like to think of all the turtles I see crossing really busy roads and for some reason it just makes me think of my problems from a whole new perspective... (Shortsigh)
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Can one say "orgasm" on AOL? If not, I am a bad speller and I was trying to say organism, as in an animal. (WLW Troub)
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Never throw midgets (WLW Troub)
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Slotted spoons don't hold much soup (WLW Troub)
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Have you ever been driving and just looked at the world and said to yourself, "What have we done?" You begin to think that the world was a much better place when nature ruled itself and now we have taken over and the world is full of pollution and death and crime and famine and bad things and monkeys and you get so upset that you just shoot yourself in the head but you actually miss your brain because your hand is shaky because you have never attempted suicide before and you become totally paralyzed and you pee all over yourself every day and you want to call doctor Kevorkian but you are paralyzed and can't talk? Me neither. (WLW Troub)
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Never pull a monkeys tail unless you are interested. (WLW Troub)
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Contrary to popular belief, letting milk get chnky is not a good way to make cottage cheese. Spend the extra dollar and buy it fresh Mr. Cheapy. (WLW Troub)
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Hi there. I'm Kenny the Kidney. I aid in urination. That's right, I help you pee. The urine is pushed through your ureters by none other than me!!! You're welcome. (WLW Troub)
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A couple more answering machine messages:
(1)Hi. This John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. if you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(2) Please leave a message. however you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
(3) Hello. my wife and I can't COME to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
(Jeanne2882) (Jeanne2882)
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My Random Game posting...
When does an 85 year old woman say "Fuck!"?
A: When the 85 year old woman next to her says "Bingo!". (C Plus11)
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Rand, dumb! (Oh HO HO)
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Luke could kick Bo Duke's ass any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Come on...we all know it. (ToddW316)
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And Crazy Cooter? I won't even mention what he could do to da both of 'em. (ToddW316)
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The third-grade teacher who told me I would never amount to anything is still there. (Toasterpig)
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If you were stuck in a barrel of horse manure up to your neck and someone threw in a bucket of cow manure, would you duck? (ICICLERAIN)