I like to have my oysters fried that way I know my oysters died. (ICICLERAIN)

--

I was standing in line at the grocery store. In front of me was this topless lady. She was young, she was beautiful, she came on to me. But somehow I knew she had something up her sleeve. (ICICLERAIN)

--

Excuse me, I'd like to be alone with my thought... (LtJG RJ2)

--

You notice even in their own commercials("Where's the Big Savings?") AT&T's more expensive than "The Other Guy"? (ETC1)

--

Two Pakistani doctors were sitting outside arguing over the spelling of a medical term.
"I think it is spelled W-O-M-B."
"No, you are wrong. It is spelled W-H-O-O-M-B-E."
"No I insist it is W-O-M-B."
A nun who had been listening to this said to the first doctor,"Sir, you are correct. It is W-O-M-B."
The second docter said,"Miss, I doubt you ever have, and I doubt you ever will, hear the sound of the great water buffalos of Pakistan passing wind underwater."
-SoupEater (SoupEater)

--

Who bit me?
(Mr Onliner)

--

SOMEBODY BIT MY GOFORSAKEN FOOT! (Mr Onliner)

--

IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT? WHY YOU SCALY LITTLE BASTARD!
(Mr Onliner)

--

That's the last time I tell a piranha to bite me! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Okay I'm done.
(Mr Onliner)

--

Your rules are really beggining to annoy me. (Mr Onliner)

--

Welcome to Tuscaloosa. Call me chimpmunk. (Mr Onliner)

--

What say we play a little Bill Clinton Rules? No one inhales until the votes hit the roof. (Mr Onliner)

--

Ready? DRAW! Ooooooooooh, that's good. (Mr Onliner)

--

Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. (Kheetah)

--

Get the hint? (Kheetah)

--

School SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kheetah)

--

JaneDoe Random fact #5: I listen to Blondie. And I like it! (JaneDoe68)

--

Watching someone trip for the first time is funny. My friend, who was tripping for the first time, spent many hours trying to convince me that she was 3 years old. Oh wait. Is this story not appropriate? Probably not. (JaneDoe68)

--

Did you know that when you are in kindergarten, "booty-head" is considered a bad word? (JaneDoe68)

--

I guarantee this, everywhere you go, there will always be a fat hairy guy. Even at health clubs. They are just more sweaty than usual. (JaneDoe68)

--

JaneDoe Random fact#69: My name isn't really Jane Doe. (JaneDoe68)

--

JD Random Fact #70: It's Broomhilda. (JaneDoe68)

--

JD Random fact #71: Just kidding. (JaneDoe68)

--

You want to hear something really stupid? Don't bet on a horse in the third based on the color of your mailman's underwear. (SewerDude)

--

I have no legs, and yet, I still seem to walk all over people. Is this unusual? (CM 000)

--

It was John Fogerty who said "Sometimes I think life is just a rodeo". (SewerDude)

--

Why is it that on tv shows you are allowed to say ass and damn, but not assh*le or damn*t? All they are doing is cutting out the hole and it. (JaneDoe68)

--

I guess he meant life is just sweaty large farm animals, men in leather, and clowns. (SewerDude)

--

I'd say he hit the nail on the head (SewerDude)

--

Oh sure, you could sue the phone company, but how would that help you with your tapeworm? (SewerDude)

--

Sometimes I think life is just a clump of hardened baked cheese that oozed out of a chicken cordon bleu. (SewerDude)

--

I guess John Fogerty knows a little more about life than I do. (SewerDude)

--

I bet he knows more about mailmen's panties too. (SewerDude)

--

Goodbye all my faiweathered friends, till 9/13, when the new aol month starts for me! (JaneDoe68)

--

I think WLW Trob has regained the magic. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I, on the other hand, have lost it. (LtJG RJ2)

--

IZZO, I'm glad you've found love. (LtJG RJ2)

--

But please don't stare at my ex-girlfriends. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I'm glad you've found love, IZZO. (LtJG RJ2)

--

But please don't stare at my ex-girlfriends. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I think WLW Trob stole my magic. (LtJG RJ2)

--

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I'm sorry, a sheep came to the keyboard. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I will soon be King of America. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I knight thee Sir WLW of Trob. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I dub thee Lady Biochick of Random. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I dub thee Sir IZZO of Almost As Good As Those Other Two. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I dub thee Sir MagicClams of Knight-Who-I'm-Probably-Going-To-Send-On-A-Suicide-Mission. (LtJG RJ2)

--

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. (LtJG RJ2)

--

I'm sick of this boycott and MagicClams has given up (i think) or maybe he's just not running it anymore. He said Troub would run it, but Troub is posting. I want to play now, but only if people start winning. Has anyone ever won this game. Let me know... (BabyLamms)

--

CurlyAnnT is my friend. Be nice to her or I'll kick your butt. (BabyLamms)

--

I have nothing more to say. Bye. (BabyLamms)

--

Shiven the Magic Dragon vs. Puff the Magic Dragon
to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon
Shiven, the magic dragon,
would not let well enough be,
he taunted Puff,
and shouted stuff,
that disgusts even me.
Little Puff on paper,
could not defeat a foe,
Who toasted like a marshmallow,
Every Jim and Bob and Joe.
But Puff had peace and spirit,
to stop the unstoppable force,
he went into battle that day,
without regret or remorse.
Puff stormed up to Shiven,
ran without a pant,
Shiven lifted up his foot,
and crushed Puff like an ant.
The moral of the story,
it's not the birds and bees,
is not to step up,
you will be crushed,
up to authority.
Puff was battered and broken,
he laid there all his days,
and the battlefield,
He well did not wield,
It did become his grave.
But Shiven lived forever,
until one fateful day,
the government had lowered the axe,
on 10,000 years of back tax!
Shiven was audited,
he lost all that he had,
for the rest of his life,
he lived in strife,
was forced to wear cheap plaids,
Puff, the magic dragon,
laid there ever still,
and considered that even at your height,
You should always foot the bill. (LtJG RJ2)

--

Isn't Cheese-in-the-can just the niftiest thing you ever saw in your whole gosh-darn life?? (Shortsigh)

--

And the way it makes those purdy designs on the crackers...just incredible. (Shortsigh)

--

Why couldn't I have invented the toothpick? Imean, it's just a sliver if wood. Who knew? (Shortsigh)

--

I am the king of HOTDOGLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WEIRDALRLZ)

--

why ask why, try spam dry (WEIRDALRLZ)

--

Ten tips for eating Sea Slugs
1. Eat them when you are above sea level. Below sea level you run the risk of killing yourself.
2. Do not wash out your mouth with Pepsi Kona, it only makes the taste worse
3. Salt will make the sea slugs sizzle...
4. Do not eat the sea slugs with the skull and crossbones tatoed on thier backs
5. To flambe sea slugs, first you must find a fire
6. If you crush the sea slugs, they will get really mushy
7. KISS sucks
8. Fried sea slugs are good for parties
9. If you must, pour honey over them, and eat them on your eggs
10. If you catch your sea slug with a net, save them, and they will become your best friend.

just ten helpful hints from me, WEIRDALRLZ (WEIRDALRLZ)

--

This is what it is all about.... : ( (Jan424)

--

There sure are a lot of random entries by people that are going for quantity rather than quality. (Croaker34)

--

You know who you are. (Croaker34)

--

Are your legs not long enough if they touch the ground? (Crys Tall2)

--

Random is as random does... (PMXLAND)

--

She'll be comin' random mountain when she comes, she'll be comin' random mountain when she comes, she'll be coming random mountain, she'll be coming random mountain, she'll be coming random mountain when she comes. (PMXLAND)