Here's your tip waiter.
USE A GOD DAMN CONDOM!!!!!!!!!!!! (TheSawTrik)
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JOHNS!!!! (Camzone)
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I have always wondered what the chipmunks would sound like if they were dubbed??!! (KReames)
Or worse yet, I've always wondered what those bad, dubbed Chinese kung-fu movies would sound like if they used Chipmunk voices...
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I came, I saw, I typed, I left, I wondered. (PLENTYCOOL)
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THE MUSCLES ARE RUNNING AROUND HALF NAKED WITH TORCHES OF SALAMI (KurtLiv107)
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A famous irish poem:
Oh auntie Flo I love you so
especially in your nighty,
when the moonlight flits across your tits
oh Jesus God oh mighly (Lilofee41)
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WHAT DID THE CHINA MAN SAY AT THE DENTISTS OFFICE?
TOOTH-HURTY! (WHart5651)
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Hey, what are you looking at? (Pretti 0ne)
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BARNEY - Episode 754, Scene 36
Barney: Fruitcake
Kaley: Fruit cake
John: F-R-U-I-T-C-A-K-E
Mary: Now, can YOU spell Fruitcake?
Barney: If you can't that's okay.
All: YOU'LL JUST BE A STUPID ASS BASTARD FOR THE REST OF YOUR
PATHETIC LIFE!!!! (TheSawTrik)
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Why is your yak in my kitchen?
Why do you snore?
Why is one goat in the hand better than five on the roof?
Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
Why do aliens choose our blue planet to destroy?
Why did Demi Moore shave her head?
Why am I babbling?
Why does this game make absolutely no sense?
Why do YOU make absolutely no sense?
Why is that?
Why ask why?
BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (TheSawTrik)
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You know how realtors put those signs in front of homes that are for sale? Well...how come you never see anyone putting them up. They just kind of magically appear....hmm..the Realtor Fairy perhaps? (Pretti 0ne)
LOL...I think you're right - I believe the realtor puts $20 under his or her pillow for every sign he wants put up, and in the morning he finds a receipt from the Realtor Fairy under his pillow
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: <----Pretti 0ne with her tongue out! (Pretti 0ne)
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~~~/\~~~~ <---a shark in the ocean, okay..you caught me...it's not a shark..it's Flipper! (Pretti 0ne)
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HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY (Pretti 0ne)
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?HUH LOOC .sdrawkcab epyt d'I thguoht I os derob os ma I (Pretti 0ne)
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Iray amray osay oredbay Iray oughtthay I'dray ypetay inray igpay atinlay. OOLCAY UHHAY? (Pretti 0ne)
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how come i never get put in the random entries. what did i ever do to you?? your so mean! sorry (KurtLiv107)
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Ducks.
And metaloaf. Improved Meatloaf, with metavitamins. For all your riboflavin needs.
eat me
"LLoyd! get off the cat"
as the forest trees burned down,
the world looked upon one sad clown,
dismal, dreary covered in cake,
heaven doth not a happy clown make (Darqeside)
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I need to share this little bit of knowledge I just gained by reading an encyclopedia...don't ask...anyway, I don't remember the names of the people, but I thought it was a very bizarre fact. Back in the hmm, was it the 1600s? I'm not sure about the date...anyway...there was this Pope on trial for..hmm...can't
remember that either but it was something very serious....well, anyway...the Pope died near the end of the trial, just before the verdict was to be decided, so instead of burying him, they propped him up on the chair...just so he could be present for the verdict...interesting, eh? I know you guys would not have been able to sleep another night with out that informational tidbit of history! Thank you for your time! : (Pretti 0ne)
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OK, since my impressions did soooooo well, I thought I'd do my impression of Bob Dole, this isn't just any old impression.....you have to pay attention ok? Alright...let me climb up here on the platform...hmmpf...ok...now pay close
attention ok, cause I'm only doing this once...........ready? Here I go...I'm leaning forward, further & further..ut oh...I'm losing my balance....I'm reaching for the rail....OH NO...it's not nailed down........BOOM, CRASH, BANG.........TADA!!!!!
Good, ain't I? (Pretti 0ne)
Definitely, you are... btw, I heard that Dole's next try to attract the youth vote is to leap into the mosh pit at a Metallica concert...
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Try this...and see how many people fall for it....Say "I have a great knock knock joke, you start..." See how many idiots say "Knock Knock" - Then look at their face when you say "Who's There" and they don't know what to say. I betcha they stand there for about 1-2 seconds with the blankest look possible. Believe
me....I fell for it!!!! (Pretti 0ne)
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--Just another informative piece of info--
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road, from Famous people in time:
* Plato - For the greater good.
* Karl Marx - It was a historical inevitability.
* Machiavelli - So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken, which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but,also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend, with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
* Hippocrates -Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
* Jacques Derrida - Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is dead.
* Noam Chomsky - The chicken didn't exactly cross the road. As of 1994, something like 99.8% of all US chickens reaching maturity that year had spent 82% of their lives in confinement. The living conditions in most chicken coops break every international law ever written, and some, particularly the ones for chickens bound for slaughter, border on inhumane. My point is, they had no
chance to cross the road (unless you count the ride to the supermarket). Even if one or two have crossed roads for whatever reason, most never get a chance. Of course, this is not what we are told. Instead, we see chickens
happily dancing around on Sesame Street and Foster Farms commercials where chickens are not only crossing roads, but driving trucks (incidentally, Foster Farms is owned by the same people who own the Foster Freeze chain, a subsidiary of the dairy industry). Anyway... (Chomsky continues for 32 pages. For the full text of his answer, contact Odonian Press)
* Thomas de Torquemada - Give me ten minutes with the chicken and
I'll find out.
* Timothy Leary - Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
* Douglas Adams - Forty-two.
* Nietzsche - Because if you gaze too long across the road, the road gazes also across you.
* Oliver North - National Security was at stake.
* B.F. Skinner - Because the external influences which had
pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in
such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.
* Carl Jung - The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
* Jean-Paul Sartre - In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
* Ludwig Wittgenstein -The possibility of crossing was encoded into the objects chicken and road, and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
* Albert Einstein - Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
* Aristotle - To actualize its potential.
* Buddha - If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
* Howard Cosell - It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
* Salvador Dali - The Fish.
* Darwin - It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
* Emily Dickinson - Because it could not stop for death
* Epicurus - For fun.
* Ralph Waldo Emerson - It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
* Johann Friedrich von Goethe - The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
* Ernest Hemingway - To die. In the rain.
* Werner Heisenberg - We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
* David Hume - Out of custom and habit.
* Saddam Hussein - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
* Jack Nicholson -'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
* Pyrrho the Skeptic - What road?
* Ronald Reagan - I forget.
* John Sununu - The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
* The Sphinx - You tell me.
* Henry David Thoreau - To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
* Mark Twain - The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
* Catherine MacKinnon - Because, in this patriarchial state, for the last four centuries, men have applied their principles of justice in determining how chickens should be cared for, their language has demeaned the identity of the chicken, their technology and trucks have decided how and where chickens will be distributed, their science has become the basis for what chickens eat, their sense of humor has provided the framework for this joke, their art and film have given us our perception of chicken life, their lust for flesh has made the chicken the most consumed animal in the US, and their legal system has left the chicken with no other recourse.
* Stephen Jay Gould - It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.
* Joseph Stalin - I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
* Malcolm X - It was coming home to roost. (Pretti 0ne)
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This is random, just because... (ArrowsDeja)
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You know what? I really think that sound that styrofome, makes is really really really annoying, it must be a close cousin to fingers on a chalkboard, or those telephone soliciters....(ArrowsDeja)
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU PUT YOUR GLOVES ON YOUR FEET AND YOUR SHOES ON YOUR HANDS? THERES SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
(KurtLiv107)
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antidisestablishmentarianism arianism bo barianism banana fana fo farianism me mi mo marianism antidisestablishmentarianism antidisestablishmentarianism. (MPWxRaBiD1) (Pretti 0ne)
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what (NL941427)
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You know how when you log on to AOL, if you have mail..the voice says "YOU HAVE MAIL"? Don't you think it would be cool, if when you don't have mail...the voice said "YOU DON'T HAVE MAIL YOU LOSER!"? (Pretti 0ne)
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Can you guys tell how bored I am? This is the most I've ever posted here. (Pretti 0ne)
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Albatross (The Ronn)
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I wish to win a prize (PHROOTY2)
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what the heck (LGHARR)
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WASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSUPWASSSUP (SteveofCal)