Now that we have some law and order (minimal law and order here, mind you), we can go ahead and get on with the business at hand...like giving away some free hours! (Hoo, boy!)

This is indeed a momentous occassion, since these are from the first batch of entries which I have taken into the bowels of my computer and spit out in readable form - I bet you're as thrilled as I am...("Yeah, of course we are Mr. Deputy - so get on with it! DID I WIN A FREE HOUR FERHEVVINSAKES!!!!")

So anyway, with the random criteria I promised to allow all senses of humor and tastes an equally random chance to win a free hour, here are the winners for the first part of the Law And Order Period.

(Note: these winners cover the entries from "A New Deputy's In Town" to "Squeezing In Three Little Entries")

My first free hour is the "Hurray! I got my turntable working!" award.
Being one of the last of a dying breed who actually bought music in vinyl record form, I was no doubt pleased when I got my ancient turntable back up to running condition recently. Now I can archive those old records on tape and let them truly rest in peace...

One of the first songs I listened to was "Rain" by the Beatles (off of the LP "The Beatles Again"; I'm sure there are other LPs where this song appears...), one of my favorite Beatles songs. And who better than JaguarMel, our resident Beatle lover, to get the free hour for this award...If the rain comes...they run and hide their heads...they might as well be dead...when the rain comes....(congratulations JaguarMel!)


YAYAYAYAY! My entry was posted!! And twice no less!! Hee hee hee...kewl. Anyway, hey, I"m confused. Yes, again, stop moaning already. Remember our old "friend" Heckler X? hmm...well, he seems to have this sort of grudge against me. First he told me that all my entries consited of were suck-ups to CHicago. Just a few days ago he told me that all my entries consist of are insults to HO chicago. I'm confused, how about you? HECKLER X is starting to remind me a bit of Bill Clinton. Very sad. Must be some sort of Clinton virus going around cuz I seem to keep finding these people. HO Chicago, WE MUST FIND A CURE!!! ARE YOU WITH ME PEOPLES? OK, fine, you're not with me. Be that way. Anyhow, I gotta ask Chicago...does anyone really win any free time in this game? Besides BlueWaffle, that is, I mean, we all know too well that he got an hour. Hell, he sent me letters in E-mail bragging about it to me, and I have no idea other than through the random game who in the hell he is. Well, does anyone get time? It is truly confusing. Well, for me at least, but there;s not much new there! i gotsta go now, peoples... I"ll see you next time...but first.....I'm fixing a hole...where the rain gets in...and stops my mind from wandering...where it will goooooooooooooooooo...THere. You see? I still do the Beatles stuff. :)~ (JaguarMel)


The Scariest Halloween Costume free hour award goes to Shortsigh, who truly has a SCARY idea for a costume for the kids to wear during Trick Or Treat time...


Yeah...those Macerana (or however you spell it) guys scare me, too (Shortsigh)


As long as the kids don't DANCE the Macarena, I'm sure they'll still get their candy okay...Look in your pumpkin, Shortsigh, you just won an hour!

And finally, the "Consumer Alert - Rental Video Warning" free hour award goes to this unfortunate customer, who thought they were renting a Disney family movie for both the kids and parents to enjoy but unfortunately did not read the fine print closely enough on the box and heard this over the TV speakers...

He Came on My Tata's
(sung to Hakuna Matata)

He came on my Tata's
What a pig with a snout
He came on my Tata's
When he pulled it out

It mean I have'ta clean up
for it dries too hard
It's a problem he has every week
He came on my Tata's

When he was a young lover
When I was a young lover
He found his rhythm with a certian penile
He could find my c**t and eat it for a meal
I've a sensitive one though I seem thick bushed
And it would hurt When he would give it a smoosh

And, OH We Came
And he would call out my name
And He got me downhearted
Everytime that he.......

(hey not in front of your wife)

He came on my Tata's
What a pig with a snout
He came on my Tata's
When he pulled it out

It mean I have'ta clean up
for it dries too hard
It's a problem he-has every week
He came on my Tata's (WolfieOne1)

Be wary, all you consumers out there...This should serve as a warning to you - READ THOSE VIDEO BOXES CLOSELY!!! This poor consumer obviously got a hold of The LOIN King rather than The LION King; I've heard of other unfortunate avid video renters who've snatched up supposed "Disney" movies, only to pop the film in their VCR to see (horrors!) Beauty DOES The Beast, The Little BARMaid, and Poke-Her-Hontas.

Please, don't let this happen to you! Be a well-informed consumer - read all boxes and labels carefully. And for you WolfieOne1, I feel your pain (ack, I'm sounding like Bill Clinton! Help me! Help me!) - in sympathy, we give you a free hour.

Thanks folks! Keep up the randomness y'all and keep sending in those entries!