Woweee!! I gots me a free hour!! I can't beleive it!!You love me, you REALLY love me )or pity me, one of the two, I'm not quite sure...)I'd like to thank the acadamy where I got booted out of, the Deputy of the random game, and...oh...lemme think, what? My parents? What in the hell are you thinking? No, I want to thank the lovely people at the nudist colony for giving me my inspiration. -yay- Wow, and also, look at that, I FINALLY got a title peice! Wow, in all the, uh, months I've been here, I never got that before. -sniff- oh gawd it's beautiful. I promised myself i wouldn't cry.... so I won't. :) Anyhow, again, since i"m pretty happy right now, I don't have much to complain about. So, peoples, I'll see you tomorrow. And remember: She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah, she loves you yeah, yeah, yeah, she loves you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeaaaaaah....you think you've lost your love? well I saw her yesterdayeeeyay...... :)~ (JaguarMel)
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That annoying little pilsbury dough boy has creamy goodness inside..I hate him I want to poke little holes in that pudgey bastard and cook him, at 350 or until golden brown...ahoohoo- I'll beat the crap out of him, that little piece of yeast with a brain....him and that damn energizer bunny...YES YES!! THATS IT!!! I'll steal that stupid bunny's battery and put in my easy-bake oven and make into a little burnt crusty, ahh yes, but, you should't eat his creamy goodness, no, for it is poison...(ArrowsDeja)
Yes, ma'am, your husband died of alkaline poisoning when he ate the pink bunny...
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You know, JaguarMel, long before you even started to do the LONNNNGGGG entries, I was thinking about it. Yes, I really was. Now I can say you bit off of me, and you really did. So when I do a really long entry, such as the one proceeding, you can't complain. Did I mention I'm a patent lawyer? I can just put a patent on my long entries. Anyway, do you know how stupid and vulgar people can be? Like one time, I was talking to people on AOL (God knows why), and someone came up to me and kept on saying "Say your grandma stinks!" I mean, is that supposed to be funny? Hello, but it's not. Did that sound like a Valley Girl right there? I hope it did, because that is what I wanted it to sound like. Are you mentally ill? I know someone who's m,entally ill, and trust me, you don't want to be mentally ill. I mean, no offense to you if you are or anything, but then again, if you are, you probably wouldn't know how to read this right now, or would be too crazy to even think about doing it. But anyways, like I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by myself, if you have a choice, don't be mentally ill, because it isn't very fun t'al. (That's a contraction for at all) :) Pretty good huh? Yeah, I know already, so please don't tell me how great I am. I said don't tell me. I don't want you
to.................................................................................... OK DAMN IT!!! ENOUGH SILENCE ALREADY!! COMPLIMENT ME ALREADY!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!! AUGHHHHHH!!!!!! Oh sorry. That reminds me. My friend and I were doing this news program with lines and everything, and we were doing a routine where she had to feed me the lines, but only the really short ones. One of my lines was oh, sorry. She was supposed to feed it to me, but every time I was supposed to say it, I would crack up. IT WAS SOOOO FUNNY. She must not have thought so though, because she smacked me a couple times. That's besides the point though. Anyway, why the hell am I telling you about my life? Do you really care one way or another? OH WELL THEN!!! I'M TELLING THE STORY, NOT YOU, SO @#$% OFF YOU STUPID MOTHER#%%#@&* %&(*&!!! Oh sorr......hahaha. That was my impression of me cracking up when she fed me the lines. No, not when I was cursing. That was my impression of me getting mad. I'm talking about the line after thatg. Yeahhh, now you've got it. Now don't you forget. Well, was this a long enough entry to get you pissed, JaguarMel? I seriously hope it is, but I don't think so, so I'll write a little bit more. Anyway, The sun is in my eyes right now. It is very aggravating, and if you're lucky, I might not take it out on you, but only if you're lucky. Hehehe. Well, I'm pretty sure this is LOOONNNNGGGG enough by now, and I am just blabbering, so I guess I have nothing more to say, except @====>. Well GOODBYE!! (MPWxRaBiD1)
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I was one of those bastards that typed a long entry...... (Pretti 0ne)
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THIS GAME IS LAME. (JOATYLER)
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Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? (The Ronn)
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The wheelchair. (The Ronn)
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Hell
I fell
Down a well
Can't you tell?
It hurt
My skirt
and shirt
have dirt.
It's wet
So I regret
Falling down that well
that you couldn't tell
I fell. (MPWxRaBiD1)
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In my last Random entry, I mentioned that I am a nurse. I'm a male nurse. And you can just keep your smart-ass comments to yourself, thank you. (Rusputin2)
To tell you the truth, I really didn't remember the first couple of facts you mentioned, but sure enough, I read through the past few batches of entries and you did indeed mention it...and these particular comments are NOT smart-ass comments I assure you...
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My Uncle Joe had huge hands. My dad used to say that when you shook hands with Joe, his hand would swallow yours right up. I suppose that explains Dad's hook. (Rusputin2)
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My sixth grade math teacher was really amazingly fat. I'm talking truly corpulent. I mean, whenever she walked into the geography class going on next door, the globes would start to orbit her. Anyway, the reason I bring her up at this point is this: No reason whatsoever. I was just thinking about how my math teacher could have gotten so fat. Probably has something to do with all that damned pi. (Rusputin2)
LOLOL! (free advertising for another section I know, but have you ever tried the Pun Emporium in Hecklers?)
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How much wool would Chuck Woolery chuck if Chuck Woolery could chuck wool? And would he make us watch him do it? (Rusputin2)
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WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?! Oh...sorry. I stepped on Ross Perot. Luckily, I can use this chart to scrape him off my shoe... (Rusputin2)
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Hey...you know, I just realized something... I got the Turntable type deal award.... but wait, "deputy," I must confess...I'm not one of the "dying breed.." I'm just a beatles gal, I wasn't around to buy vynal when they were here. In fact, I don't own any records, although i do have a turntable. But I do have a mighty collection of CDs and tapes! LOL but not 8-track, sorry! Well, I still accept the award, though, hey, gimme that...dammit, I'm not giving it back!!! But hey, I just thought that that was kinda ironic....the story of my life... LOL... :::sigh::: hope i haven't disappointed my loyal fans (as if I have any in the first place!) OK. Now to get on with the real issue at hand. Dolls that pee. Please, will somebody tell me what the point of this is please? They weren't around much or popular when I was a little kid and interested in dolls, but now every time I turn on the TV i see something about a new, wonderous doll that pees, burps, spits up, and yes, you guessed it, craps too. What is this world coming to? Why would someone get JOY out of changing a nasty diaper or cleaning fake spit up from their shoulder? I am utterly stumped by this issue!! If you ask me, these kids are sick....SICK, twisted little beings from another planet cuz alla these nasty little dolls are gettin sold to SOMEBODY! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? What are they gonna do next, have ovulating Barbie dolls? "look ma, barbie's bleeding from her butt!" Oh well. I just don't understand it... why can't they just stick to playing house with a stuffed bear or something? Well, I have no answers on this subject. It is truly baffling. So I must leave you now. Goodbye... but first: Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the dark, shaves in the dark tryin to save paper... sleeps in a hole in the road.... saves enough to buy some clothes.... Bye everyone! (JaguarMel)
No, not you Jag, but me - i meant I am one of a slowly-dying breed of those who actually have actually bought a brand new vinyl LP...LOL
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It's kind of funny that the lead singer of Oasis is trying to be one of the bad boys of rock, but their music is wimpy and reminiscent of the likes of ABBA and the Bay City Rollers. (Croaker34)
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blue cows never say oink sideways unless they have eaten the hot pink grass on the tupee land rides... (ArrowsDeja)
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I barely know her, but I'm beginning to develop a distinct dislike for JaguarMel. (BadOmen79)
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She's insufferably cutesy, and she talks a lot. (BadOmen79)
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And she's actually proud of these qualities. (BadOmen79)
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She reminds me of this manipulative bitch in high school that charmed all the guys and alienated all the girls. (BadOmen79)
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Okay, maybe I'm directing some pent-up hostilities at an innocent source. (BadOmen79)
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But...you never know. That girl in high school sang Beatles songs all the time, too. (BadOmen79)
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Okay, okay. JaguarMel, let me put this as civilly as possible... (BadOmen79)
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The purple elephant on the shower curtain walks at midnight. (BadOmen79)
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See? It didn't make any sense, but at least I was civil. (BadOmen79)
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I AM A BUTTHEAD. (ADTYLER)
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No matter what anyone says to you, just remember this one golden nugget of advice from your ol' pal Shortie: You'll never get out alive. (Shortsigh)
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That should help you wade through all the bullsh*t. (Shortsigh)
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I think HO should have an area devoted strictly to full frontal nudity. Preferably female, but hey, I'm not a picky man.... (ExHecklerX)
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Could you live with yourself if you knew you were ruining my life? Because you are. Yes, you. Right THERE, damn you! Stab your mother's eyes for what you've done. Yes, YOU! Stop asking that! It's YOU, already! (ExHecklerX)
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TAKE THAT YOU EVIL, EVIL PEOPLE!! (KurtLiv107)
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Guys, I have really bad news... I may have to leave AOL. The big, surly guy that controls my account is gettin ticked about my bills (which are gettin way too high). I don't know if I will actually leave, but I'm pretty sure it's a possibility within this week. This probably won't be my last post, and I"ll most likely have my friend be my "contact" with HO, etc.. so that I don't have to be completely shut off. I really hop I don't have to go, this is just a warning, I guess you could say. Just wanted to fill you in...hope I can stay, I'll miss all of ya if I can't. See you all later. oh, and: I think I'm gonna be sad...I think it's todaaaaaaaaaay yeah.. the girl that's driving me mad, is going awaaaaaaaaaaay... oooh she's got a ticket to ride.... she's got a ticket to riiiiiiii hiii hiiiiide..... she's got a ticket to ride... but she don't care..... (JaguarMel)
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KNOCK, KNOCK. (ADTYLER)
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i gotta take a dump (Ratboy1878)
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Some of you may have the wrong impression about me... (Shortsigh)
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I don't sell crack to high school teachers. (Shortsigh)
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Just the principals. (Shortsigh)
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So here I was, right, just walking down the street, when all of the sudden this big guy comes up bhehind me, and he says hey YOU!!! So, i go up to him and I say yeah, what do you want, FREAK?? So, he tries to swing at me, and starts to chase after me... So, I run into a dark alleyway, when it looks like I am trapped.. then, I remember that I can fly, so I fly away... Next stop, Bolivia... So, when I am at bolivia, I run into my ex-girlfriend wonder woman, and I found out that she's dating aquaman... Boy, what a loser he is.. well anyway, I order a fruzen glasen at the bar, and the barkeep says " what the hell is that??" so, I get offended, and use my super finger beams to blow him to smithereens, and then... (oops, time for my medication...) (WEIRDALRLZ)
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Fred Flintstone Fried Fifteen Fresh Fish For FIve Foreigners.. Top that!!! (WEIRDALRLZ)
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I went to a Foghat concert once... but I realized that they sucked... so I left (WEIRDALRLZ)
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This Program is about unsolved mysteries.. whenever possible the actual police and family participate in re-creating the events.. What you are about to see is not a news broadcast... And if you thought it was, boy do YOU need some help! (WEIRDALRLZ)
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In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to a military prison for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, and no one else can help, then maybe you can hire.. the A TEAM!!!! Now I want to know what type of threat do these men put on society. I mean really, the best thing they could have done was escape.. After all they saved the taxpayer's money. And besides, its not like they ever hit what they aim for.. Get Real (WEIRDALRLZ)
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that's it for my randomness (WEIRDALRLZ)
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bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep (ArrowsDeja)
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Objects taking corners at a high speed require a more severe lean...or they'll crash. And crashin' sucks. (Devan82689)
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If a mime falls in the forest, does he make a sound? (Pretti 0ne)
LOLOL!
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Deep Thought: I remember when I was a youngster, when my grandfather would take me out for long walks, and he would say, "Never use hedge clippers to trim your fingernails". My grandfather would also have me wait under a shady tree while talked with his friend, Merlo, the invisible troll! (Pretti 0ne)
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I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. (Pretti 0ne)
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I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off of myself. (Pretti 0ne)
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If at first you don't succeed, give up -- no use being a damned fool. (Pretti 0ne)
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If it screams; It's not food. (Pretti 0ne)
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Things that make you go...Hmmmm...
Why is it called a Television set, when it only comes with one? (Pretti 0ne)
--
Why are there interstates in Hawaii? (Pretti 0ne)
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Why do 24-hour stores have locks on the doors? (Pretti 0ne)
--
Why is there brail on drive thru ATM machines? (Pretti 0ne)
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Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? (Pretti 0ne)
--
Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless oranges or seedless grapes? (Pretti 0ne)
--
How come we can never just rant or just rave? (Pretti 0ne)
--
Why do radio stations interrup "60 minutes of uninterrupted music" to tell you you're listening to 60 minutes of uninterrupted music? (Pretti 0ne)
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If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, what color would it turn? (Pretti 0ne)
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Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? (Pretti 0ne)
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Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? (Pretti 0ne)
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How do you throw away a trash can? (Pretti 0ne)
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Why does instant rice take 5 minutes? (Pretti 0ne)
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Why do have irons have Permanent Press settings? (Pretti 0ne)
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Why do they call asteroids asteriods & Hemmoroids Hemmoroids, asteriods are in your ass and hemmoroids are in the hemisphere? (Pretti 0ne)
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And finally (for now), who decided it would be tasty to shove wet bread up the butt of a dead bird before cooking it? (Pretti 0ne)
All of these are Pretti Damn funny, Pretti 0ne... :)
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