Does anyone have some Windex? The windows in here are awfully dusty...

Anyway, the cleanup continues...How'd I get suckered into this job anyway?

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I can't believe some of the postings that have been declared winners. My sick jokes are much funnier and more interesting than some of the garbage you have posted. I have determined that you must shut your eyes and just move your cursor down to randomly pick a winner without reading it, thus the random game. Here is a stupid joke on the chance you actually read these. "I was abroad for two years, but a psychiatrist fixed me up." Remember I said it was a stupid joke, not a funny one. (SSAdams17)

I gotta agree with you, you're right...this is a stupid joke.

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Where does lint come from and can I send my in-laws there on vacation? (CivilWar49)

I think the other way is better - where do in-laws come from and can I send my lint there on (permanent) vacation?

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Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep... (LtJG RJ2)

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This has been a test of the Emergency Dumbass System. (LtJG RJ2)

Local authorities have developed this system to send these folks into emergency shelters so that smartasses can laugh while they're not looking. If this had been an actual emergency, smartasses would be in the shelters and dumbasses wouldn't know what in the world was going on until it was too late.

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Stipulation. My word for the day. (LtJG RJ2)

So stipulated...


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I've been looking for my Charlie's Angels lunchbox for years. Turns out it was buried in the back of the pantry the whole time. (BoO Ignite)

Betcha' found Shelly Hack's career buried back there as well in the process...

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Do you think Camels are happy creatures? (Shortsigh)

Not really - they keep getting lit on fire, smoked, and getting their butts stomped...

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Wow! I actually won something! And in the three line novels department! You see, Dothan is where I live, and the bible quote I used appears every day in the paper, so I thought I would make fun of my hometown, wow! A free hour! I used 100+ hours to win one free hour! And I just used half of it waiting for the new screens in HO to load! Aaaaargh! (Izzo0)

A ratio math problem: For every 100 hours spent on AOL, Johnny wins 1 free hour; how many hours would Johnny have to spend on AOL to win 9 free hours?