Did you ever wonder how Dean Johnson gets so many babes to help him remodel all those houses? (CXile)

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I tried getting tabs off of soda cans with the rings still attached ( you know, the ones that are s'pposed to be good for a free f**k?) for almost 10 years, and I only succeeded once 3 years ago by sheer luck. Then my friend tried for the first time and the damn thing came right off. So she showed me how. Now I know... (LoveSong69)

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Now I have 16 of those tabs, and I have no idea what I'm going to do with them. Maybe hand them out at the bowling alley. (LoveSong69)

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Have you ever done the conga and the walk like an egyptian thing in the middle of a bowling alley lane wearing those funky tacky rental shoes that are really slippery? You should try it, you can get guys that way. I should know, when I did it, suddenly three guys came up to me and wanted my name and number. Maybe they just thought I was an answering machine or something.. (LoveSong69)

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You know what? I'm really bored. (LoveSong69)

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I'll bet you don't even care.. (LoveSong69)

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You know how else to be annoying? Send things from the web into the random game and win time for it which is just kind of pathetic if you ask me cuz i mean really you can write anything you want, can't you think of -anything- to write besides something someone else has already written? Of course, no one asked me. That's probably why too. (LoveSong69)

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My mom has a new girlfriend. No idea where I was going with that, but I thought at least I'd share. (LoveSong69)

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There's a fly in the room, and it keeps buzzing around my head and landing on me. And then I shake it off, and it buzzes around my head and lands on me again. And then I shake it off, and it buzzes around my head and lands on me again. And then I shake it off, and it buzzes around my head and lands on me again. And then I shake it off, and it buzzes around my head and lands on me again. And then I shake it off, and it buzzes around my head and lands on me again. And then I shake it off, and it buzzes around my head and lands on me again. And then I shake it off, and it buzzes around my head and lands on me again. I'm getting really annoyed. This is one stupid fly. (LoveSong69)

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The fly is dead.



GET IT BACK!!!! GET IT BACK!!!! (LoveSong69)

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If you want to leave footprints in the sands of time, you have to get off your butt (and AOL), besides- who wants to leave butt prints in the sands of time? I could get a lot more done in life if I could just bring myself to take my other hand out of my pants. (LambornKD)

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You know, I really do think the world would be a better place if everyone did what I do.
If everyone would just name their pets Herpes or Ruffage or Boner the Mighty Dog-Man or Flagellum, the world would be a wonderful place. (ELYN42)