This round's batch of Random Winners: (again, chosen randomly) Time to commence the Jumping Up And Down Dance to celebrate!


THE PERSISTANCE AWARDS:


These guys have, quite simply, worn us down with their entries. As a matter of fact, when I turn my monitor off, the words HECKLER X remain on my screen for a long time while it cools off.

NOT THAT SOME OF THE ENTRIES WEREN'T GOOD! But, in the majority, this award of one hour each IS for persistance... and sheer volume of response.

Here are some examples from the bulk of their input:


I'm back. Sorry. (HECKLER X)

What can life do for you? (Sour Soda)

Please don't smell the screen. (Biochick1)

I've never been stung by a wasp, yet I am frightened of them. Perhaps if I befriend one.... (WLW Troub)


THE FRIDGE POST AWARD:


Long funny lists are always welcome here at the Random Game. We like to print them out on a long roll of computer paper and post them to our fridge. We don't know where you've stolen them from, and, frankly, we don't care.

We have two such awards this time, and here are but a portion of their lists. For the unabridged versions, check out the "Post-Modernist Neo-Realist" entries.


HOW TO BE ANNOYING by SAXatHOME
==================

Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and
insist to others that you "like it that way".

Drum on every available surface.

Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the
volume properly adjusted.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.


99 ZANY WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER by Jimbo 9899

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the
person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.



ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE AWARD



We'd like to see more in the Answering Maching genre! We actually tried these by Jeanne2882, and got a good response!


A few new answering machine messages:
(Narrator's Voice): There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. the bell hath sounded. thou must leave a message.


Hello, you've reached jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you.


A is for academics,
B is for beer.
One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.


And last but not least...

Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.


ASCII ART AWARD



This is another genre we'd like to see explored by you ASCII artists out there. This time the award goes to PeAcEoUt97 for his body of work. Below is but a sample:


__ ;';
_.|_<| ;''';
| | { \__ ____ ;''';
| | \--|_.-''''''''''''' ;'''''; <
`-'\ / xxxxxx;;''''';;
| | xx;;''''''';;
| |_ ;;;;;;;;;
'----'



And here are the traditional, merely RANDOM entries. Most of these actually caused us to laugh out loud, as we say offline. Every one gets an hour, except for the GRAND winners, who gets two. Note that it is completely RANDOM that both Grand entries involved licking.


TRULY RANDOM ENTRIES


There are two types of people in the world: Those who classify people into two types and those of us who know better. (SHoneywell)


When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? (Zanax44426)


I swear this is a real note that my mother left for me this morning:
Elyn,
The weird people next door are using power tools in the rain again - If you see fire - Don't go over there or get involved - Just call 982-2114 and tell the fire dept. that the Collins's have another fire.
Also, wash the dishes in the sink and take the towels out of the dryer.
Love Mom (ELYN42)


TRULY GRAND RANDOM ENTRIES


Be like the bull who licks himself when he is hot, and flatulates to keep warm when he is cold. (MW934902)


They should make Kathy Lee lick stuff. That would be the whole show.
On second thought, dear Lord no. (LtJG RJ2)