That's not *my* finger... (Biochick1)
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No, no, no I said mongoose, NOT Mongolia! Geez! (Biochick1)
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"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT? HERE, SMELL THIS! HA!" (HECKLER X)
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"MY DOG IS STUPID. IT'S NAME IS ARIEL. I DIDN'T NAME IT, MY COUSIN DID. MY COUSIN ALSO TOLD MY FRIEND STEVE TO GO ON A DIET, BUT BACK TO MY DOG. I WAS LETTIN' HER IN ONE TIME AND SHE CAME RUNNIN' UP. ONLY THING WAS, THE DOOR WASN'T OPEN YET. SO SHE JUST KEPT RUNNIN' INTO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN..." (HECKLER X)
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I HAD THIS DREAM LAST NIGHT WHERE ME, MY FRIEND MAD DOGG STEVE, EXPLODIN' SAM [AKA DOPEY], BUTTMONKEY RAY, AND REALLY ANNOYING AARON GOT INVOLVED WITH THE MOB. They wanted us to go to the grocery store and bring 'em back some of those Marsh plastic sacks, y'know, the brown ones. Anyway, we got the sacks and I stuck in my bag and we hpped in the green station wagon [it's always a green station wagon, and my friend Steve always drives it] and we sped off to see the mobsters. I waited outside while the other guys went inside.[smart, huh?] They came out and every last one of 'em had had the crap beat out of 'em. My friend Steve was cryin', but I didn't care. I just wanted to know if anybody remebered to get my bag or did they just leave it in there like the dumbasses they are. Ray came up and said,"I got it!" So I took it from him and said, "Go away. I hate you, you annoying lil' f-wad!" Then I woke up.-HECKLER X (HECKLER X)
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YOU STILL LOOKIN' AT ME? SMELL THIS, TOO! DOUBLE-HA! -HECKLER X (HECKLER X)
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What do you get when you mix milk of magnesia and vodka?
Philips screwdriver (Squeak5301)
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I was at my friend's house last weekend. She lives on a farm, so we did all the farmy things you do on a farm, including cooter huntin'! The term 'cooter' (from the Latin cooterus) refers to any animal that lives in a wet environment around mud. That weekend 'cooter' meant frogs. We went out to the pond in the horse pasture (squish) with a small bucket and a flashlight. The object of cooter huntin' was to catch as many frogs as you could and put them in a small bucket to see if A: they mate or B: they eat each other.
Anyways, we were down by the pond catching cooters by the dozens and throwing them into the bucket. My friend saw a really big one, and sent her sister to go get it. She went to grab it and nearly puked all over the pond. When we asked her what happened, she replied that the cooter was 'squishy', probably because it was pregnant or horribly overweight. So we gave up on catching them and just watched the cooters in the bucket. Two were mating, and three big frogs were ganging up on a little frog. All in all, a very satisfying cooter hunt. (ChumChippy)
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There are mice in parkas stealing things out of my freezer. (ChumChippy)
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That is one ugly badger. (ChumChippy)
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cootercootercootercootercooter....COOTER!!! (ChumChippy)
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The amazing Yink that likes to drink pink ink. (ChumChippy)
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Apples (ELYN42)
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Oranges (ELYN42)
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Bananas (ELYN42)
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Kumquats (ELYN42)
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Kiwis (ELYN42)
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Strawberries (ELYN42)
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Luncheon Meat (ELYN42)
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Fava Beans (ELYN42)
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Ramen Noodles (ELYN42)
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(_|_) <- Kiss This!
(ELYN42)
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I WANT JUSTICE FOR THE POOR PORCUPINE! (Laurenne14)
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Shelly2369 - What the hell is this, I ask??? (Shelly2369)
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I see, says the blind man. (LtJG RJ2)
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Shiznik Mofo Biotch (Shiznik2)
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Hi this is me first time playing this game. I hope I win. Please pick me! I'm the best choice for the PRIZE so pick me! (YoOutThere)
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Well I'm sittin' on the back, kickin' my feet back, sittin' there in a rockin' chair, on a lil' back porch 'bout to fall apart, so I think I might repair it. Just as I'm thinkin' about repairin' it some friends come by with their two-string, one-string, no-string guitars and they plug 'em all into the back porch.They're sittin' around playin' all their favorite songs, kickin' back, feelin' real good, real fine, real full of the wine. And eveything's beautiful, everything's fine.Yeah, I'm seventy-years old and I'm slurpin' everything thru a straw (HECKLER X)
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There once was a man from Nantucket... -Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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Take my wife...PLEASE! Y'know, this'd be a lot funnier if I was actually married. Yeah, I think I'd be married to Alicia Silverstone or a supermodel.Yeah. On second thought, STAY THE HEEL AWAY FROM MY WIFE!!! AND KEEP YOUR STANKY DOG OFF MY LAWN!!! -Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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Y'know, sometimes when I let my dog out, she'll go play with this lil' black dog. Then one day, a friend of mine saw 'em and said,"My God! That dog has five legs!" Then I said,"That ain't a leg." This dog is only like the size of a lapdog, but it's "fifth leg" drags behind it on the ground.That's one sick puppy, eh? -Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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Low tech sound file........Ning ning ning vreeeerrrmmmmmmmm.......(train passing)
Tried to set it up as a WAV file, but my computer laughed at me. (CivilWar49)
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My dad was a soda jerk. I never saw him drink soda. I often saw him being a jerk. (CivilWar49)
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