Philosophy Lesson:
If you can teach an old dog new tricks can you teach a head of lettuce to jump off a cliff?
(PhroZak)
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DO YOU KNOW WHY WHITE PEOPLE ARE CALLED GREENGOES, IT'S BECUZ WHEN THEY CAME TO CUBA DURING THE WAR THEY WERE WEARING GREEN CAMOFLAUGE CLOTHES SO BECUZ CUBANS COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH THEY SAID " GREEN GO HOME " AND IT ENDED UP BEING GREENGOE SO THAT'S WHY..... (JesCJames)
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One day I went to my friend's house and we decided to go on a bike ride. We rode all over the neighborhood looking for field mice and squirrels. While we were riding, we spotted a field mouse so we stopped our bikes and went to get it. Amazingly enough, the field mouse told us his name was Murray and he is the leader of all the field mice in the world. We asked where we could find some field mice and he asked why. We responded with a simple truthful answer...We like field mice. He said that he couldn't tell us where the field mice were but he could tell us where the rival tribe of squirrels was. he told us and we went there. Then a whole posse of "bad" squirrels came and sacrificed my friend to the god of squirrels. that freaked me out so I ran away. I think that damn fieldmouse was plotting against us the whole time. Fieldmice suck. (LeonardABC)
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There are tiny little men all over the floors of my house (LeonardABC)
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Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? (Laurenne14)
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Is this related to the BLANK Game? And how will we know if there are winners in the BLANK game if it's always BLANK? Here's a new word and definition for your Fictionary: 'Stupider' : adj. describing the comparison between HO's RANDOM game and their BLANK game. This is really starting to annoy me. Later, (KenTheLuza)
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"How far down do you wanna go? Wecan talk it out over a cup of jo', and you could look at me like I was a supermodel. Uh-huh." The Refreshments, 'Banditos'- Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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"To all uff those who haff picked un me und nailed me in ze head with jelly doughtnuts, I vill kill you all. Un my hed, yet!" Johann Schmidt, Wizard #59.- Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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Ain't it sad that I ain't got nothin' better to do than sit at my computer sending Random entries one after another in hopes that you'll put 'em up? Boy, am I a loser. A-LOO-HOO-A-SER!!! -Heckler X
(HECKLER X)
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I feel like drinkin' a gallon of turpentine and pissin' on a brushfire! (HECKLER X)
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I read about this guy in Wizard magazine one time who was voted "Most Likely to Pop a Cap in Your Sorry Ass." His name was Sam "Snap" Wilson. -Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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So, come here often? (HECKLER X)
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What's your sign? -Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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Wormy-wormy-wormy...WORMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WORMY!!!!!!! Oh where, oh where has my wormy gone? Lil' b-tch bettes get his slimy ol' @$$ back here! -Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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the jello is green (Havoc180)
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Well, this was embarrasing to me... but I will share it with you folks. When I first got AOL, I was on it all the time and became real attached to it. So, one day my dad said something really funny, but I wasn't even thinking so I said... laugh out loud, instead of actually laughing. I felt incredibly stupid, but thankfully my dad had no idea what I was talking about, I don't even think he heard me. Well, it was funny at the time... (Tiff1980)
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Pudmonkeys are sitting on my couch and they won't go away. (JZnidarsic)
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They are eating all the mice in parkas that live in my freezer, too. (JZnidarsic)
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Pudmonkeys are cool. (JZnidarsic)
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About as cool as cooters. (JZnidarsic)
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...as Buffy entered the cafe, she noticed the smell of her favorite meal...Smurfs on whole wheat buns. (Eh Human)
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My dream and goal in life is to submit so many entries to the Random game that you'll have to create a new file full of just my entries. That, and to become insanely rich and famous so I can call all those girls who wouldn't go out with me because I was "too nice" and tell 'emm that they messed up big-time. O'course, I'll probably end up asking them out again just for the thrill of rejection.-Heckler X (HECKLER X)
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Janet Reno.................BOY I'D LIKE TA! (Skidmo1)
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Gerbil, Gerbil, in the sky, didn't know that it could fly. (DiveBombr1)
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How long do I have to wait for my order. (Skidmo1)
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Here's a question for you: why is the word for slide "slide"? I mean, who chose THAT combination of letters to mean a silvery piece of metal on a slant or a baseball player with their face in the dirt while still in motion? Why didn't they call it "gremple" or "heshtilt"??? And going along with the same thought, why is your name, YOUR name?? Think about it: you are Martha or John. That is your name. People look at you and that is what comes to your mind. But you'd rather have another name. Why should you be identified by a word? What's the point of having a name? Why should you be identified? There's probably another person somewhere with the same exact name, so you're not unique and your parents have accomplished nothing when naming you. Wouldn't it be easier for everyone to have their own number, or maybe invent a word that no one else can use. Have you ever looked around for someone else with the same name as you and compare yourself? Or take a few people with the same name and compare them, creating a characterization for anyone with that name, so if another person doesn't match, then that can't be their real name. Think about it. You might end up changing your name. Or not bother having one at all. From now on, you're #89 or Shmirp or, better yet, Anonymous! (DiveBombr1)
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schlopp. schlopp. beautiful schlopp. beautiful schlopp with a cherry on top. (Lab monkee)
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A Tribute to.....[ONOMATOPOEIA]-n. 1. the formation of a name or word by imitating the sound associated with the thing designated 2. a word or phrase so formed. WHEEZ, SNORT, ATCH! PTEW!,HHHHHHOOOOAAATTT, MMMMM!!!, OW!, BANG! THUMP, CLUD, WHAM, BZZZZ, HUM, HMMMNNN, HHHIIIISSSS, SPLASH, SLAP, CLICK, BEEP, RING, POP, BOOM, KERPLUNK, DING, GRUNT, PLUCK, PING, MOO, QUACK, @#$!@$! (DiveBombr1)
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A- Aachen, Aal, aalglatt, Aar, Aas, ab, abandern, Abanderung, Abart, Abbau, abbauen, abbekommen, abberufen, abbestellen, abbiegen, Abbild, abbilden, Abbildung, abbinden, Abbitte, abbitten, abblasen, abblattern, abblenden..... (DiveBombr1)
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King James I was gay. (DiveBombr1)
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Fire is hot and burns things (DiveBombr1)
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"Curiosity may have killed the cat; more likely the cat was just unlucky, or else curious to see what death was like, having no cause to go on licking paws, or fathering litter on litter of kittens, predictably. Nevertheless, to be curious is dangerous enough. To distrust what is always said, what seems, to ask odd questions, interfere in dreams, leave home, smell rats, have hunches do not endear cats to those doggy circles where well-smelt baskets, suitable wives, good lunches are the order of things, and where prevails much wagging of incurious heads and tails. Face it. Curiosity will not cause us to die- only lack of it will. Never to want to see the other side of the hill or that improbable country where living is idyll (although a probable hell) would kill us all. Only the curious have, if they live, a tale worth telling at all......" Alastair Reid (DiveBombr1)
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The sky is green (DiveBombr1)
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Dear Sirs,
(Letter witheld by request)
Howard Sprague
RFD 123
Mayberry NC 00001 (Creeds)
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I live life above the rim. (WhahooChop)
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If elected, Bob Dole plans to tax orgasms. Taxes would vary from state to state: lower in the Bible Belt and higher taxes for any individual who gets more than he does. (OldSage4)
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"When aw was wahkin dawn the rowd to Cranberry, I met a hahnsome young lad." -- excerpt from the new book by Sum Yung Goof, "Walkin' to Cranberry" (WordChild)
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E R San Sui Oo Leo Chi Ba Jeio Shir (1-10 in Chinese) (WordChild)
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Eye (WordChild)
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Ear (WordChild)
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Nose (WordChild)
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Lips (WordChild)
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Cheeks (the top ones, stupid!) (WordChild)
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