Every time I buy marshmallows, I only eat 3 of them. (Lab monkee)
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why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? (BROWSER 1)
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why is it a pair of panties and only one bra? (BROWSER 1)
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If veggie burgers have no meat, why do you have to cook them? (ELYN42)
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Just remember, all that is wrinkled is not a naked mole rat. (ELYN42)
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Dirty Nursert Rhyme #4367.39
Something-Humping sat on a wall,
Humping, Pumping, Having a ball,
All the Police Horses,
And all the Policemen,
Couldn't stop Something-Humping from humping something again. (Jimbo 9899)
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A guy walks into a bar. He sees a guy that is really drunk and drooling. He asks if he wants a taxi and the guy just drools even more. So he calls a taxi. He picks the guy up and takes him out to the car. As soon as he lets go of him he collapses. He picks him up and helps him home since he is so drunk. He looks at the man's driver's license and goes to the man's house. They arrive and the man picks the drunk guy out of the car and walks him up to the steps. The guy just collapses and the guy knocks on the door. A lady comes out and he says, "Is this your husband? He was really drunks so I brought him home." She said, "Thanks, but you forgot one thing." "What's that?" he asked. "You forgot his wheelchair!" (SockerDude)
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"T.V. is leisure, man. You don't need to concentrate!"
-Francis Xavier Doerr (NikkiMDC)
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Ever drive down a highway and find yourself wondering what it would be like to just rev the engine and bust the guardrail and go soaring over the edge into freefall oblivion, tasting the salty air of freedom as it whips through your soul while throbbing from the deafening "Thump, thump" of so much adrenaline that you think you might be God? I haven't. (NikkiMDC)
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Something to think about: If you're travelling at the speed of light in a car, What would happen if you turned on the headlights. (Jimbo 9899)
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Maroon bananas eating red flamigoes are in my computer. (LexyPerson)
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Mommy, mommy, lookee what I found in my sister's room! Glow-in-dark balloon! (Falsetto)
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(What the Hell Is This????) Should never be asked when your friend has a baby and she asks your opinion on how cute her kid is!!!!!! (Shawna3296)
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Who's cardboard? (Mr Onliner)
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Heckler's Online is a...#%#%@!!
(Bad word that TOS wouldn't allow) (Kelga)
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I AM THE WALRUS!!!! HA HA HA HA HA....... I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!! YOU MUST BOW DOWN AND GIVE ME TP!!!!!!HA HA HA HA HAA!!!! (CRM0011)
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I love peanut butter. (ZElysium)
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"Well Pa looks like we'll have 'bout 10 chickens." "Don't count your chickens before they hatch Ma." (Finbarr880)
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The Bouyant Force is equal to the Weight of the displaced fluid. (Finbarr880)
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I have a dog. He's a mutt. He eats his shit whenever he can. He likes it better than his dog food. Need I say more? (Laughin999)
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X=int(RND*100)+1 follow randomness with randomness!!!!!!!!!!!! (HeLLoxODiN)
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"Curmudgeon", 'nuf said. (DramaBill1)
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I thought that by becoming a waiter and serving food to people, carrying food back and forth, it would make me sick of food. I was wrong, it made me sick of people. (Trumpetpla)
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One day, one of my friends says to me: Billie Jean*, you should get out more. So I say to her, maybe I will Elton*. I decide to go on a long leisurely bike ride through the neighborhood. As I am strolling on my bike, I come upon two very, very small men arguing in the middle of the road. When I say these men are small, thats what I mean, they were about 4 inches, I swear! So I say to them, Please get out of the road, I am on a bike ride, and i don't want to run over you because that could ruin my tires. so the 2 liitle men run at full speed at my bike and push it over, with me on it!! "That's my new Huffy!!!" I scream. The two little men just laugh and walk off. To this day, i have always wondered what they were arguing about. Little men make me furious.
*names have been changed to protect the innocent (LeonardABC)
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My friend deenah is 3 foot 1 inch. Dang, how did she get to be so much taller than me??? (LeonardABC)