Does anyone here watch the Single Guy? I don't, but oddly enough its storylines have seeped into my brain. So, I must ask: You know how on the Single Guy last year, he had a married couple who were his friends? I don't know who the husband was, but the wife was the lesbian on Friends. Now, this year they are gone from the Single Guy. . .replaced by two totally new people, who are not married and don't guest on Friends--though that is probably just a matter of time. My point is they changed things and just continued on their merry way thinking the viewing public would not notice.
Well, for some reason at HO, we give you more credit than that. We think you'd notice such a change. So, you know the guy you have learned to love and admire as Mr. Bold Letterguy? Well, he was taken away. Don't ask me why, I don't know...but I think it's because they'd rather have beautiful, scantily clad women around headquarters. Have you seen the women with those mugs? ...Unable to find any for the Random Game, well, here *I* am. If you wish for old times, call me Mr Bold Letterguy, see if I care.
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The Random Game awards a random total of tokens every Friday! We'll be awarding tokens based on the hilarity and originality of your entries! To see how many tokens you currently have to your credit, or to cash your tokens in for prizes, check out The Prize Cellar.
What the hell is this, you ask? Well, I'm not going to tell you because I don't know either.
Here's the way it works: there are no rules and there are no time limits or schedules for winners, but there are prizes.
How do you play? You simply send me something. Anything. Doesn't matter what. There are no categories or subjects. It doesn't even have to be funny. It can even be a picture or image. Then a winner will be chosen out of all of the random entries. Winners are awarded a number of tokens based on the quality of the entry. Short text submissions might win one token, while an image might win three, or TEN. Who knows? It's totally random.
*IMPORTANT* If you type something in the box below, DO NOT use the or key anywhere in it (until I post something saying the Online Host has his head out of his ass and our entry reading software will work properly).
*MORE IMPORTANT* If you want to send a file or an image, attach it to an e-mail and mail it to "HO Theme".
So there you have it, a game that is essentially a blank page. Now what are you going to put on it? (Rontohta)
[Don't the participants know the directions by now? Yeah, this is my first day, but even I know them by now. Does this happen often?]
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The only reason the army did not want gay people in the service is because they didn't want 16,000 gay men with guns going" who did you call a fag!" (JPatton148)
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Because I am a cop and if I don't win, your sorry little ass with pay for it with a ticket, jail or worse. Who knows how long you could sit in jail. Ya know, there's a lot of nice people in jail these days. They like to get to know people like you. They play games, you know fun games. Like Doctor and stuff like that. Do you like to play doctor? I think you should practice real good. They don't like it unless your good, REAL GOOD! Unless of course I win and then you wouldn't need to worry about practicing. Cause, I know where you live and I get mad real easy! NOW GIVE ME MY PRIZE!!!! or else! (JetTroop)
[I don't have enough time to practice; I have enough trouble trying find the time to learn guitar. Besides, who'd award tokens if I'm being, cough, detained?]
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no (TJCJJJ)
[Okay, I won't force you to do anything you aren't ready for.]
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Listen TroubWLW..I am the ONLY leader of ANY coven over the Internet. Don't defy my will ! "..and tokens fell from the sky like skittles..." (X1FALCON) (X1FALCON)
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I WANT TO WIN (SQUEEGY1)
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dont (SQUEEGY1)
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you (SQUEEGY1)
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hate (SQUEEGY1)
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it (SQUEEGY1)
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when (SQUEEGY1)
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people (SQUEEGY1)
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use (SQUEEGY1)
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tons (SQUEEGY1)
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of (SQUEEGY1)
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space (SQUEEGY1)
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so stop it!!!!!! (SQUEEGY1)
[You]
[said]
[it,]
[Squeegy]
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When I replaced the colored fish tank pebbles in my pocket with the HO tokens i won my pants didnt fall down. This leads me to believe that i must somehow obtain more tokens. Maybe I could randomly pull a best selling novel out of arse........ (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
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Nope, didnt work. (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
[You don't think it could be because you gained weight over the holidays? I mean that as a reply to why your pants now stay up, not why you are having trouble pulling things out of your ass...For an answer to the latter, you really should see a professional something-or-other.]
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if that Dyslexic chicken turned his monitor upside down would that help the poor fellow. (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
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**For Sale** 27 assorted years of spud-change, 3 tokens or best offer. (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
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Nope, still didnt work. Im going to have to wing it from here. (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
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"The" Parts Store.......I think that is very random, thanks SOO much....... (Moodyviper)
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1, 2, 3, 4, get your woman on the floor......... (Moodyviper)
[5, 6, 7, 8, what ever happened to Bewtiched's Mr. Tate?]
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Laaa-dee-daaa..........Mr. Onliner, bold type guy thinks AOL stinks....and stuff. (Moodyviper)
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So what if I did kick that poodle? (PaulCrash)
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I just went to the fridge and randomly selected things to make a sandwich with, I now have a orange with milk and potato salad on it. I will eat it for 1 token. (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
[I think after that, you'll be wanting a stomach pump more than a token.]
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ha ha ha i'm in i'm in and no one can stop me now because i'm in and i'm going and just fie more months of hellish crap hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah princeton (Mscraps)
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Maybe I could put on my ski-mask and mug people when they go to the prize celler. That would be productive...and neat to. (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
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I'm back at work again slacking off on the company time as usual. I'm in bit of a quandry today. On the left side of my desk sits one of those koosh balls (the rubber stringy balls that you just can't seem to put down), and to my right are 2 nerf basketballs (I have the hoop mounted above my desk. I really can't figure out which one I should pick up. The koosh ball is pretty relaxing, but if I sink a 30 foot jumper with the nerf ball, it'll really pump me up. I think I'll pour myself another Pepsi and think about it some more. The phone will probably ring again before I figure this one out. (UzeTheFors)
[Okay, being unoriginal, I'm going to quote something that may help you. "It seems I'm in a quandry, so I'll simply do my laundry. Because as my mother often mused, better clean than confused." If you know who said that I'll give you some tokens--or maybe I won't, no one can figure me out.]
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Here's some random words: ploogabis, shmirlit, cronkloom. I have these words copyrighted, so don't anyone try to use any without my permission. I still don't know what they mean. (PaulCrash)
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We have one of those HP Color LaserJet 5 printers here at work, but I keep sending black and white text printouts to it. I figure, the company has enough money for me to use whatever printer I want, and hey, black and white are colors too (aren't they?). (UzeTheFors)
[In the days before AOL 3.0 they were the only colors...weren't they?]
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Hecklers Online: The only place on AOL where random obscenities can be shouted out and Lord TOS will not get you because his powers do not work in such a dark realm... (GrmpiBear)
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I almost did the key instructions but felt it could not further my already feeble plight. (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
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The PIN number for my ATM card is 8817. I didn't pick it, the bank assigned it to me. It's easy to remember because it's really 888, except the last 8 has been split into two smaller parts (1 and 7). (UzeTheFors)
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I think I'm leaning towards playing with the nerf balls, but that brings up another problem. I have a green one and a blue one. Which one should I play with. Both? (UzeTheFors)
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Forget it. I picked up the koosh ball by accident and now I can't put it down. (UzeTheFors)
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'tis I -- (ArrowsDeja)....still wondering if anyone ever really reads this crap....Hey deputy/lacky dude, ummm do they let you out of the torture chair there at HO after you finish your random duties, or are they afraid you'll run away and never come back? (GrmpiBear)
[They feed the entries into this big computer who takes care of everything. It's really a site to behold--I've never seen it. When it runs out of RAM (due to things like the repitition of the directions or the word "crap" repeated to infinity, or if someone sneezes) the entries are then forwarded to me. I am on call to read entries at all hours...except weekends.]
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WOW! i just got a letter from Egypt, I wonder wha (Beergutt) (TACMar1)
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"...but they'll never make me go upside down.." see, that's what you get for coming in the middle of a conversation.... (GrmpiBear)
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Laugh, not beacuse it's funny but because if you don't laugh I'll feed your dog a Hershey's bar...... (GrmpiBear)
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If I got some tolkens, would it be possible for me to cash in my tolkens and have them sent to me, you know just the tolkens themselves? Because even if I had some to cash in, wich I don't, I personally would not like to advertise that I hang around HO, I'm sure we can all identify... What exactly do these imaginary tolkens look like anyway? Are you HO's screwn' us around..again? (GrmpiBear)
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My wallet is thin. Can these tokens be cashed in for actual money? (Kumantes)
[Now do you think that AOL would actually give you money? Oh wait, what is with that $20 for signing up a friend? One of the few AOL commericials I haven't seen on a regular basis.]
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hack.........weeeeeez.......cough.......spit.......damn this flu sucks.... (Scandel444)
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Hey! I typed in a whole bunch of entries and NOT ONE made it in here...I WANT SOME TOKENS...not many, just one...just one so I can be on that list...All these other guys get tons of entries..It's because I'm a woman, isn't it. That's it. You men all suck. And you wonder why women turn gay. That and the fact you all can't last more than FIVE MINUTES in bed. Oh, and always wanting blow jobs. That, too. Then, at the moment of climax, you grab out heads and choke us with the damn thing. Fine. Be that way. Don't give me any tokens. (Dawn619645)
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MEN SUCK (Dawn619645)
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MEN SUCK but not each other well maybe each other in prison or in the dirty chat rooms I never saw that before (Dawn619645)
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I have been on-line for 36 hours straight now..I am afraid if I log off I will never get back on...I have not slept and my boyfriend has bought me a box of depends...I am set (Dawn619645)
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I knew a Ice Fisherman who caught 200 pounds of ice. His wife fried it and they drowned. (CHECKERs17)
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This is the new theme song for HO
LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa
mmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmmHmmm (SIM Being)
[LaLaHmmHmmm. How does it go again? I think my tempo is off.]
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the sprees, i need to relieve the ease, of eating cheese between two trees. (Skew 24 7)
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You mean a bunch of my entries disappeared. I typed out All of the words to a song I wrote To the tune of Alanis Morissette's Ironic and you didn't even get it. Its not my fault. I didn't even press enter between verses. You'd better get this message or I will start distrubuting that ad for AOL That they don't want anyone to hear. Maybe that will get them to fix the entry reading software. I am just sooo pissed off. I don't belive this is happening. By the AOL people, my fonts are all messed up and it won't let me into the World Wide Web, and now that you got rid of your online technical support people forum I am left all alone in the vast world of the internet. I am a dissatisfsied customer. BOOO HOO HOO. (SIM Being)
[AOL does have that Interactive Help thingy now. You get personal attention, but must wait for on average 50 minutes. Which even if you do have the "unlimited time" plan is a waste, don't you think? Who'd want to wait for 50 minutes in a help queue, when you could be wasting your time here? Oh, I'm sorry, I mean, try the Interactive Help thingy, it is so convienent and fun to use!]
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This situation smacks of Chester A. Arthur. (Tocadisco)
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Everytime i don't like what i'm reading, I moon the computer screen. Hope nobody is offended. (Tocadisco)
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Where do all my entries go? It seems as if they mysteriously vanish.... (Tocadisco)
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So this chick comes up to me and says, "Toca, can you smoka?" I said "no, but i can smacka you acrossa the face." Then i remembered that i was raised never to hit a girl. So i just felt sorta stupid as we both stood there. She looked at me and said, "I'd lika to seeya try." But as she was saying this, she got ran over by a trucka. I felt kinda bad. (Tocadisco)
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I need some inspiration....artists find the naked female body as inspiration....i don't think a nude chick would help me come up with good random entries, but then again, a nude chick never hurt. (Tocadisco)
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Man, my entries are getting a tad sexist. I must stop that. (Tocadisco)
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3:33PM @ 1/6/97 (Tocadisco)
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Don't you hate it when they play a song over and over again on the radio?? I mean like OVER AND OVER AND OVER....................whoever listens to Ace of Base anyway?
(Kenderyn)
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They're playing that freakin' song again. Is it new??? How come they look so much like ABBA??
(Kenderyn)
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Speaking of ABBA, I really like then. Except for that really one weird looking guy. What does that Agnetha chick see in him anway??
(Kenderyn)
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I really love ABBA, but I hate Ace of Base.
She is a dancing Queen....
Only seventeen.... ( mumble mumble, don't know the words to this part)...
On the ( TV? Movie?) screen.... (Kenderyn)
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I think that song is an Ode to American Bandstand. Or at least to Dick Clark anyway. (Kenderyn)
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Here's a challenge for Mr. Bold Letterguy, if you back down from this challenge and post this without a response, you'll be branded a yellow-belly coward. Here's the challenge:
Write a sentence (or paragraph) using the following words, names, and phrases:
Jessica Rabbit
badger
flock of smelly geese
vaseline
Jurusalem
Ben Franklin
(Tocadisco)
[When Ben Franklin arrived in Jeruselum that day, he felt as exposed as a flock of smelly geese are to hunters. You see, he had thought he was going to Toon Town to a rendez-vous with Jessica Rabbit. He was upset, but distracted by the heat of the desert which split his lip, he was forced to forget about Jessica and look for vaseline for his crack. He never did find Toon Town, but the badger, or were they weasels?, did give some Dip to Ben which moistened his crack. Okay, you never said it had to be funny. . .besides I'm not Mr. Bold Letterguy, so why am I replying?]
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Dick Clark is pretty cool too. But what's up with his plastice helmet hair??
(Kenderyn)
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I invite everybody to take the Toca Challenge Today!!!!! (Tocadisco)
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In the constant battle between good and evil, the neutral coward always pevails... (JH Probe)
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all I ever wanted was 850 tokens... is that so much to ask, hey! ::hopes go up:: you give random amouts of tokens, right? :: hopes plummit :: but you never would not for me... I'm just an insegnifecant person who can't spell. Waaaaaaaa! (CH Heckler)
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The bomb in my head went boom now I am dead. Well after I finish playing the Random Game.
(Zeroloo)
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i forgot. (Fuzzysheep)
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my mom got married saturday (Fuzzysheep)
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When someone reads a sound, , , , , , , you could be watching batman but that's not my question. Are you suppose to read it out loud or make the noise itself? (Zeroloo)
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i love chain letters...see told you I was dying (Zeroloo)
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i want someone to write something under my game entry. I feel all left out inside, outside, underneath, above, on top of, standing on and stuff. (Zeroloo)
[That's all you want? Someone to write under your entry? No tokens like the rest? I'm shocked.]
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I am hooked on Ebontics. Yo homie dope sh*t iz phat bro. Need gotta get some paper to wipe my behind now b*tch. I'am is outtie (Zeroloo)
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I dunno what I'm sayin', know what I'm sayin' (Zeroloo)
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Here is a random game idea for you? I call it random fun for the host. First you bend over, then take a RANDOM amout of thoes tokens and shove 'em up you butt. (AGeNT666 B)
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Hey when I type in that Keyword "wannabe" it takes me to the "VirtuaLeader Academy" Where can I sing up for the random game job??? (MadCat)
[It trains you for positions like the random game job...but you can't have this one, it was already taken while you were sleeping.]
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how come each thingie is filled with the entries form just one person? (JH Probe)
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Jan. 6 on this day in 1956 the dorm room fridge was invented. (Thank thee lord) (AGeNT666 B)
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Just wondering, but do you get paid for your job? If you do how the hell can I get your ass fired and me in your spot?!?!?!?!? (AGeNT666 B)
[If they pay the Hosts, it's news to me. I volunteered for this course in tough love.]
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I LoVe you XOXOXOXOXO (BoPeep)
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You ain't nothing but a hound dog (BoPeep)
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What would the world be like without randomness? (JH Probe)
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Everything would have its own special place in everything. (JH Probe)
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That was the golden age before Hecklers Online came along... (JH Probe)
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*sob* *sob* (JH Probe)
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So, granted, this was a long time ago, the deal feel through and no one was happy? "Who's happy?" Someone asked, yet no one answered. (ElDruidian)
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I've always thought that rhutabega and kumquat were funny names to give to those poor little fruits and vegetables. If I were a kumquat I'd probably have a complex about it. Then again, I'd probably not have the self-awareness it takes to have a complex if I were a small citrus fruit. But who's to really say, right? I don't know what goes on in a kumquat's head.... (FINGTONE)
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I was so caught up contemplating my life as a kumquat that I neglected to post my name. Silly me.(FINGTONE) (FINGTONE)
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"If at first you don't suceed, then you are a failure and everyone you know is gonna laugh at you."-wiseman (Crakerz123) (Crakerz123)
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Is it "The Grapes of Wrath" or "The Beans of Destruction" ????????? (Moodyviper)
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"Hecklers will show you they way...to a huge bill from AOL."-wiseman (Crakerz123) (Crakerz123)
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"Face your fears, you wuss."-wiseman (Crakerz123) (Crakerz123)
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"It will only happen if you believe...sex seekers need not apply."-wiseman (Crakerz123)
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I don't know what the tokens are for, give me some and I'll go find out (StormKing9)
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ACK!! Thats it!! I have to press enter!!!
Ahhh....that felt good......... (Jupiter541)
[Oh, that's all it does?]
where's my snamil? (MaNgO505)
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Funny story--I have a friend named Nessa, who is always cutting class, but she never gets caught. She always says that she is just lost, and that can you help her find such-and-such a room? Well, she was standing outside her math class, and the teacher asked her to come inside, and she just told him ....."Excuse me sir, I'm lost. I'm looking for room 237. Jessica(another friend), can you go get me?" Naturally, after making that little speech error at the end, she and Jessica cracked up, and then they had to go inside anyway. I know, I know, its not that funny, but since my day sucked big time, its the best I can do. (Jupiter541)
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Did someone say coven??? (Jupiter541)
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"The pen is mightier than the sword...on the other hand I was only stabbed by a pen..."-wiseman (Crakerz123) (Crakerz123)
[I'm resisting make a Dole joke...Thank you Crakerz, you have restored my willpower.]