I guess I liked my uncle Cave Man the best. We called him uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and sometimes he would eat one of us. Later we found out he was a bear. (MutantYoda)
--
Hey, i want tokens.....gimme tokens dammit. C'mon, it won't hurt ya. For 10 tokens maybe I won't kill you...for 20 tokens I'll draw you a picture of Deanna Troi using only symbols and letters from the keyboard!! (How desperate can I get here?) (Jupiter541)
--
Why haven't you yuppies posted any of mine yet? (MutantYoda)
--
"Hypnotizing someone is not a show of good actions...you are getting sleepy...when you awake...you will give me lots of money..."-wiseman (Crakerz123) (Crakerz123)
--
"Want beef and spice? Snap into a Slim Jim! Oooh yeah!"-wiseman on a sugar high (Crakerz123) (Crakerz123)
--
I want tokens (Armaten2)
--
give me tokens dammit (Armaten2)
--
What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? (Armaten2)
--
sauce (Armaten2)
--
as you can see, i want to win and I WANT TO WIN NOW!!!!!! Thank you. ;) (Armaten2)
[Your request has been noted. Now, wait for us to call you back...and we will, believe me. ;)]
--
I hate people. Not just some people. Everyone is fundamentally evil, selfish, and out to get you. That'a why no matter how paranoid i seem, i'm not really being overly cautious. Paranoid is a concept invented to make money form shrinks. If we're not paranoid for ourselves, who's gonna be paranoid for us? Besides our mothers that is. But paranoia is necessary for life, seeing as you'r not really "being paranoid", you're just looking out for yourself. I think if someone tells you that you're being paranoid, not only are they evil at their core, they're consciously out to get you.So all people suck. Can I say that here? "Suck" i mean. Oh, screw it. (ScorpioAsh)
--
When I was six my life goal was to own a 7-11 store. (ScorpioAsh)
--
Beanie Babies. They are everywhere. I was given two for Christmas. And i also recieved an imitation beanie baby. They're miniature stuffed animals but instead of nice soft fluffy pillow-type stuffing, they contain pokey hard bean bag-type stuffing. Isn't that kinda downgrading stuffed animals? And if so why are they so darn popular. Oh, well, maybe i just shouldn't be using Stripes the Beanie Baby tiger as a pillow. The one really wonderful thing about them is that they each come with a special poem about the particular animal. Stripes' the Tigers' poem was something like..." Stripes was neither fierce nor strong, so with other tigers he didn't get along, Jungle life was very tough, so he came and joined his friends at (toy company). I wish to no lnger sound like an endorsement for this product. And that concludes our broadcast day. Thanks for listening. (ScorpioAsh)
--
Speaking of beanie babies. My friend was given a Beanie Baby dog for Christmas. A day later it was kidnapped..no, really! She then received an actual ransom note for the dog. It cliamed that if a plate of cookies was not placedin the High School Library at 1:40 PM on Friday the 22nd, then the dog would "get t". It included a lovely drawing of a cute little puppy...in a guillotine. True story. (ScorpioAsh)
--
Why won't anybody listen to me!!!!????!!!!! (WJHSmile)
--
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.... (WJHSmile)
--
What am I saying? I'm not a train! (WJHSmile)
--
But why? What's going on? (WJHSmile)
--
My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us New Pie (WJHSmile)
--
Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge (WJHSmile)
--
Good Boys Do Find Always (WJHSmile)
--
All Cars Eat Gas (WJHSmile)
--
Kings Play Cards On Fat Green Stools (WJHSmile)
--
Elvis' Guitar Broke Down Friday (WJHSmile)
--
All Cows Eat Grass (WJHSmile)
--
Moo!!! (WJHSmile)
--
Bolagna! (WJHSmile)
re-par-a-tive \ri-'par-et-iv\ adj 1: of, relating to, or effecting repair 2: serving to make amends (WJHSmile)
--
the bees' knees (ScorpioAsh)
--
na-so-phar-ynx \-'far-in(k)s\ n [NL] : the upper part of the pharynx continuous with the nasal passage (WJHSmile)
--
I told you Paul is dead. (ADTYLER)
--
ex-lax makes you crap. prunes make you crap. crap smells bad. ex-lax and prunes are bad because they make you crap and crap smells bad. (Smarty7)
--
if you crap, wipe your ass. this morning i crapped and didn't wipe. it slipped my mind. i'm embarassed by that. (Smarty7)
--
Sex is like a card game. You either need a good partner or a good hand. (Cogby)
--
I was talking about Marilyn Manson to a friend once and then a Manson song comes on the radio and I go "Speak of the devil..." (Cogby)
--
huhuhuhuhuhhuhuhuhuh this sucks (Dragonmzt)
[I've read all these entries, I'm surprised it's taken this long. It's about time, frankly, I was beginning to get worried.]
--
Once I was outside of a movie theatre and my big Irish friend Pat said "Hey here comes a hot tamale," and lo and behold a hot tamale came out of his mouth. I caught it in my mouth and ate it. It was the most disgusting thing I ever did. I liked it though. (TMershi)
[My mother's name is Pat, coincidence?!]
--
AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHH AHAH AHA AHAA! Boy am i hilarious! I was just reading the entry where i said MA! AHHAHAH! hee hee! Don't I laugh convincingly? I was just wondering, if you were going the speed of light and stuff, and your back was turned to the direction you were going, you would see you back, right? Right? i mean i know it's illogic
oh nevermind (BlueWaffle)
--
Okay, this is me answering some random entries:(It's been confirmed...(part 1)
shutup about the stupid smiley already!
you are so funny. hah. hah. ahah hah.
just repeat once!
yes,i,do,.
What?
read the directions
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
nevermind (BlueWaffle)
--
And the indian said, "Sheep lie." (HcklrKitty)
--
I'll have enough tokens for that jacket any time now! I'm already up to two. No hurry, of course. I intend to have AOL till I die anyway. And I'm sure the damn jacket comes in old lady sizes. (HcklrKitty)
--
I think there ought to be a 500 token fine for anyone caught doing "text" art.... (ToddG03)
--
If you shoot a mime with a silencer in the forest when nobody's around, does anybody care? (HcklrKitty)
--
If this is random, I figure it'd do me good to enter a million times. But I have a life. (HcklrKitty)
--
HA HA HA! Had you going there for a minute, didn't I! (HcklrKitty)
[Hee hee. You sure did, Hcklr!]
--
Do I push this button, Mildred? This red one? Yeah, the one that says "retard." No, "record." That's the one. I did. I pressed it already. No, I already pressed it. So I what? Record the message? Oh. Okay. Now? Okay. Hello, you've reached Sam and Mild -- BEEEEEEEP! (HcklrKitty)
--
Does this game randomly suck, or is sucking the only planning involved, cause if the sucking is planned, what a great suckcess you have. (HUFMEBUNZ)
[We aim to please. That's all I can say.]
--
WARNING Do Not Enter There Is Nothing Here Worth Your Life (ToddG03)
--
Hello, you've reached Sam and Mildred. We got an answering machine! It's a real nice one, too, Sony, and it has a five-hundred-message capacity and...hey, I wonder what this button does -- BEEEEEEEP! (HcklrKitty)
--
I was randomly roaming around the Heckler's thingys, when I discovered the Random Game. This is way cool, a place where no talent people such as myself can come and be appreciated. Thanks Random Guy. (HUFMEBUNZ)
--
Hi, you've reached Sam and Mildred, please leave your mane, mumber, and a massage and we'll bet gack to you later. BEEEEP! (HcklrKitty)
--
Are you being held for Randsome? Cause if you is, I would pay it, cause there aint nothin worth being stuck here. (HUFMEBUNZ)
--
Hi, this is Kitty's refrigerator. Her answering machine eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck covering for her. Leave a message and I'll post it on me with one of these little magnets. BEEEEEP! (HcklrKitty)
--
What did YOU do to the Wise Guys to get this gig? (HUFMEBUNZ)
[I don't know what everyone else did. But, I was down on my luck and wandered into Heckler's Headquarters looking for for handouts. This is all they had laying around.]
--
What is my staff access code anyway? (HUFMEBUNZ)
--
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah (Wolfman780)
--
hi (MKnight927)
[Hello, nice to see you. You're early.]
--
This game sux. MaY eye heave moi toKens... noW u UNfunny BAstarDs. (Jelly1bean)
--
you people are full of crap. you don't pick the random winners randomly. (TODnCOPPER)
--
eat your shoes. no ketchup. (TODnCOPPER)
--
hold on...if i ate my FOOT, would i gain weight?? (TODnCOPPER)
--
anyone who can't figure out how to play the random game should be hornswoggled. twice. (TODnCOPPER)
--
i wonder what kind of circuits it blows when you send something after you press enter... (TODnCOPPER)
--
do you ever wonder why people don't type their smiley faces this way? (: (TODnCOPPER)
[No. But actually I think that would be the left-handed way. But, this left-hander here--yeah me--felt like that gave people an unfair impression of myself. You know, stereotypes. So, know I type it the correct--leaving out the obvious pun--way. But now my nose gives people the false impression that I'm a funny clown. And you should already realize that one of those descriptive words is not true. :o) Damn, you know too much about me already!]
--
dealing with the command that we not use the enter key. next thing you know, we won't be able to use the space bar. (TODnCOPPER)
--
ishouldn'thavesaidanything. (TODnCOPPER)
--
tit was daylight when you woke up in your ditch. you looked up at your sky. that made blue be your color. you had your knife there with you, too. when you stood up, there was goo all over your clothes. your hands were sticky. you wiped them on your grass. so now your color was green. oh, lord, why did everything always have to keep changing like this? you were already getting nervous again. your head hurt and it rang when you stood up. your head was almost empty. it always hurt you when you woke up like this. you crawled up out of your ditch onto your gravel road, and you began to walk...waiting for the rest of your mind to come back to you. you can see the car parked far down the road, and you walk toward it. "if god is our father," you thought, "then satan must be our cousin." why didn't anyone else understand these important things? when you got to your car, you tried all the doors. they were locked. it was a red car, and it was new. there was an expensive leather camera case laying on the seat. out across your field, you can see two tiny people walking by your woods. you began to walk towards them. now red was your color, and, of course, those little people out there were yours, too. (TODnCOPPER)
--
what's in the box?!?!?!?! awwwwww come on!! what's in the box?!?!??!?!?!!???? (TODnCOPPER)
--
i hope this qualifies as random. ilgenfritz. she was my second grade teacher. (TODnCOPPER)
--
what the hell??? everything qualifies for the random game. why should i be worried? (TODnCOPPER)
--
this seems to work: why don't i ever win anything?? am i not funny? (TODnCOPPER)
["Funny" is not a requirement in HO. I thought you'd that by now. :o)]
--
I was going to say something really funny, but then I played punchlines and forgot. (Forty9erss)
--
Oh man, do I LOVE getting chain letters! It just brightens my day and makes me think, who came up with this crap? I don't get any good mail, and now all I get are the same stupid chain letter e-mails. Sure, go ahead, send them to me...but don't say I didn't warn you. I have an awful lot of free time you see, yes, and I like to send mail. Lots of mail, all kinds of mail. Ohh, the excitement, ohh the suspense. YES!! MAIL FOR YOU ALL!!!! So please, go right ahead. I'm sure it will be worth your while when all you have is an e-mail box full of CRAP! (Edna8me) (Edna8me)
--
I have such a friggin' headache right now, but I refuse to go to sleep until I figure out this random game thing. I think I almost won last time, but I forgot what I did. (UzeTheFors)
--
5 great words... "Sauce will thicken upon standing" (UzeTheFors)
--
This game is as funny as a clown----not. Who the heck thought of this. Please, join the circus.!!! (Cowpicker)
[Oh, Cowpicker, you should have been here earlier, we were just talking about clowns.]
--
The crud in the corner of my eyes in the morning tastes better than my boogers (UzeTheFors)
--
. . . - - - . . . (UzeTheFors)
--
The Online Host has his head out of his ass and our entry reading software will work properly. (Devian C)
--
Now, consider the iceburg, its every form and motion... how it glides, how it shatters. How noble. (Devian C)
--
I ate lucky charms for breakfast :-) (Cristops)
--
Now they are all gone :-( (Cristops)
--
If you tickle Elmo underwater, he giggles real hard and then doesn't giggle anymore. (Cristops)
--
Put my name in the border or I will run into a wall really hard and knock myself out. (Cristops)
--
Put my name in the margin or I will run over my cat with my car. (Cristops)
--
If you click on the smily face on the HO main screen a secret doorway to Steve Case's bathroom opens up. At least that's what Slick Rick tells me. (Cristops)
--
MADONA IS A BEDWETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(WCDB2)
--
It didn't work in two other games, so I'll try it here: In an effort to improve his image for the American public, possibly ex Speaker Newt Gingrich has dyed his hair black, styled it into a pompadour. He has also donned red and black checked bib-overalls and is standing in front of numerous fast food restaurants accross the USA. (Vraith)
--
Ok so this guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" (Mudhoney7)
Have you ever tried to scratch your butt through a pair of jeans? It's not possible and doesn't look very attractive. (MissScully)
--
I had my senior pictures done last week. the guy said "You have very strong features. People with strong features, if they don't have something femine about them, they look like a horse." (MissScully)
--
This wasn't very nice of him was it? (MissScully)
[I can't tell if it was a compliment, an insult, or just plain doesn't make sense. So, I'll agree with you. But, Mr Ed was sure pretty, wasn't he?]
--
Anyone who is argumentative...well.....they suck.....they should go to hell. (MissScully)
--
Well, not HELL but maybe purgatory for a few hundred years. (MissScully)
--
I need a man. (MissScully)
--
Not to be desperate...but I do....it's not normal for a girl my age to be a virgin in just about EVERYTHING....not just sex but even having a boyfriend...Well, I better send this before I realize what I just told everyone. (MissScully)
--
This really sucks!!!!!! (NMakiaveli)
[Only 6 exclamation points?]
--
Oh, do I wish there was an unsend on these entries now!!!! (MissScully)
--
That big ; ) on the HO thing looks like a smiley with really long bottom eyelashes on one eye. (MissScully)
--
It looks kinda cool though. I won't be surprised if you don't print any of these.
Sorry that I'm depressed. My entire belief system was just crushed by an ignorant argumentative geek. (MissScully)
--
Valdivia, Pedro de
Spanish III
Period 3
January 6, 1997 (Mudhoney7)
--
i didn't mean that about him.....him being a geek. You'd prejudge him to be one....and he basically is one....but it's still not nice.
Now I feel bad. (MissScully)
--
HA HA HA I WILL PLAGARIZE ANYONE'S ENTRIES IN THE RANDOM GAME (Mudhoney7)
--
Hey there!!! PUT ME IN THE QUOTE THING!!! PLEASE!!! I love you!!!! I'll be your best friend!!! I'll be EVERYONE'S BEST FRIEND!!!!! I really will!!! (MissScully)
--
it takes abig man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. (MutantYoda)
--
Some folks say it was a miracle. Saint Francis suddenly appeared and knocked the next pitch clean over the fence. I think it was just a lucky swing. (MutantYoda)
--
Blow ye winds like the trumpet blows.....but without the noise (MutantYoda)
--
The sound of falling rain reminded me of a urinal at a Texaco Station (MutantYoda)
--
Most people don't realize that large peices of coral....painted brownn and have been attachted to the skull with wood-screws....can make an ordinary child look like a deer. (MutantYoda)
[Would this work with dogs as well?]
--
I think someone should breed a large shrimp. That way you could ride him.....and after you make camp for the night....you could eat him. How about it science? (MutantYoda)
--
If I spontneously take out a 7-11 with a sub-machine gun...would that be spontaneous enough for a couple of tokens or a thousand? (MutantYoda)
--
Note to self: Ponder theory: If cows could fly ....would we eat horses?: End tape. (MutantYoda)
--
We won't bite. It's not Wednesday. (Mudhoney7)
--
tsetse fly (Mudhoney7)
--
quack (Mudhoney7)
--
bye bye (Mudhoney7)
[Are you leaving? Was it something I said?]
--
Thanks for the tokens! Mr. Bold Letter Guy's my friend now. We'll be spending every waking minute together from now on. (Kaziganthi)
--
Waaaaaaiiiiiitttt.....I just thought of something.... That means the.... ~KAZIGANHTI PROMOTIONAL TOUR~ actually worked!!! JOY!!!!! (Kaziganthi)
--
i'm specifically drawn
to this random site,
night after night after
night after night
i could be drinkin'
i could be smokin'
instead i'm here,
trying to win a damn token
is this where my waste
of a life has been leading,
only thing worse could be you,
you're just sitting there reading (Karen5)
[No there is something worse than that--Newt is back at the top. But we are ranked right near the top.]
--
Hello? AOL Tech Support Line? Can you send Steve Case over please? I'd like to kill him with my bare hands, if that's okay. (Kaziganthi)
--
I've never been to me. (ThundrSong) (LuvSmok)
--
anybody need a roomate? (ThundrSong) (LuvSmok)
--
You know, I really hate "Touched By an Angel." I sit and I watch it every week and cry through the whole stupid show. I think I am in need of therapy. (ThundrSong) (LuvSmok)
--
In the grand scheme of things, I'm really not very important am I? (ThundrSong) (LuvSmok)
--
Stay in school... as long as humanly possible. No really... it's scary out here. (ThundrSong) (LuvSmok)
--
psssssst... have you ever noticed how people always want to hear what you say when you whisper? maybe we should all whisper...then world peace would follow, cause everyone would be listening to what everyone else was saying. (ThundrSong) (LuvSmok)
[But would everyone hear us? And if they do, would we have to keep it all one big secret?]
--
Tezcatlipoca - the smoking mirror. (ThundrSong) (LuvSmok)
--
One time a midget stole my dog. I made him give it back though. He tried to run, but he was a midget so he didn't get to far. (Lord Khaos)
--
WOW. Did you see that? (Lord Khaos)
[Damn, I look away for once second. That will teach me!]
--
Elmo's got gas! (RMart52631)
--
i was randomly rambling around the neighborhood when suddenly i was wrenched into random madness to which only random tokens have a chance to preserve my sanity. (sburghli) (SBurghli)
--
If I were a psychopath, I think a really fun game would be to sit up on my balcony with a BB gun and aim for people's teeth. I'd call it "Huntin' Fer Chiclets." (Giarc Man)
--
If Jimmy Hoffa really is buried in Giants Stadium...why aren't they penalized every play for too many men on the field? (CivilWar49)
--
i'M MELTING, MELTING, MELTING!... (Yugibear)
--
It was 3:00 in the morning and all was puking,even the mouse. The mouse puked up the cockroach, the cat puked up the mouse and I puked up the DOG. (Yugibear)
--
Hey Beavis: its like, totally random. aheh aheh
yeah, yeah... its like a surprize and stuff. (Industrry)
--
Hey, Beavis, its like totally random. aheh aheh yeah, yeah, its like a surprize and stuff! (Industrry)
--
if I were to win this, i would have some random amount of happiness. (Industrry)
--
I want everyone to know that my husband "fixed" our AOL, instead of "welcome", it now says "Computers??! To find foxes??!" - Steve Martin being one wild and crazy guy! (Industrry)
--
Here are some random thoughts: 1) I think it is almost time for me to go to bed because my entries are getting really stuupid 2) I think I will probably stay up all night becuase I always do 3) I think I should send the random game the file image I have of a woman with 6 boobs 4) I think I may not even bother to submit this entry. 5) Then agian, I think I will (Industrry)
[I'm glad you decided to.]