AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Monkeys! Don't remind me of the horrible things they put me through!!!!!!!!! (JH Probe)
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TOCA MAXIMUS (Tocadisco)
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ANYONE WANT TO PLAY FRISBEE? (Tocadisco)
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Crazy glue my butt. (Tocadisco)
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Like,totally,where do I get those totally rad tokens ??( I am not an airhead ) (Icyhot6919)
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Life is like a roll of toilet paper, you never know when youre gonna run out......... (Icyhot6919)
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I wish I could plummet to my doom in a black abyss of oblivion! (JH Probe)
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Gosh darn... (JH Probe)
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------BOX------ B B O jack O X X
------BOX------ (Fire b4267)
[This would be really cool if it lined up right.]
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Cool! My stuff got posted! Now, if only I'd get some tokens........ (JamiJR)
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Yeah, Anne Rice is a dingbat for thinking Clinton is a hunk. Michael Crawford's a hunk. Brent Spiner's a hunk. LeVar Burton's a hunk. But Clinton? Ewwwwwwww! I'd rather date the vampire that made Marius one! (JamiJR)
[You go girl! (trying to snap fingers) I don't know, it just doesn't work for me.]
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I'm going to go watch Days of Our Lives now. I like bad acting. That's why I like Disney movies. (JamiJR)
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Now look what've you done! The juice has released the monkeys from their exile after I had banished them into a state of nothingness! I wonder who the next victim is going to be ?!?!?!?! This is all your fault Juice1000!!!!! (JH Probe)
[Juice1000 has the power, because he has the monkeys. Actually it's not because he has the monkeys, it because he has the power to let them out.]
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Did you know that I invented the "Roganmoper". What is that you say? Your've never heard of it! Well than I guess it's sucks to you! (JH Probe)
[The Joe Rogan-moper? NewsRadio cast member and stand-up comedian? Where can I get me one of them!!]
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Look what the Juice let loose! (JH Probe)
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Toche. (Tocadisco)
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I watch t.v. with my eyes open... (B2FRIENDLY)
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ndom Game" if you reallyGo back and read "HoO Thementer> key aMPORTANhere in it (unthing saying the Onl*MOOT use the enter> key aMPORTA key aMPORTANhere in it (unthing saying the Onl*MOOT use the enter> key aMPORTA key aMPORTA key aMPORTANhere in it (unthing saying the Onl*MOOT use the enter> key aMPORTA key aMPORTANhere in it (unthing saying the Onl*MOs this, you ask? Go bacuse the enter> key aMPORTA
[Now that's random. Kudos!]
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Monkeys enjoy bottom-scratching (SuzanneAit)
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What do you call a cow who just had an abortion? De-calf-inated!!!! Get it? Decaffeinated?De-calf-inated?Cows?Calves? Caffein? Don't you get it?!!! (Fire b4267)
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a bird in the mouth is worth nothing in the real world (SuzanneAit)
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boy is the weather nice today in florida......ha ha to all you snow birds..... (WORLDCOAST)
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Hey, Typer of Bold Print, how'd you get to do your task anyway? Why did they let you? You're not funny. I don't think they should put anything you type on the screen. (Oblio Six)
[Thank you, I take that as a compliment.]
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we're sorry, all circuits are busy at this time. will you please try your call again later? ::and now we pause for a word from our sponsors:: ::sounds of shilo tearing modem and phone cord to bits:: ::cries of "no i will not (expletive deleted) try again (expletive deleted) later you (expletive deleted) piece of (expletive deleted) phone lady! (expletive deleted).:: ::we now return to our regularly scheduled program::
sail boat, sail boat, goddamn sailboat! (Shilorider)
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It's not cancerous. It's just a little growth. (Bloodguilt)
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oh, right, the guy with the hair! i was confused there for a second. (Shilorider)
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I am ZoZ99's friend. He isn't gonna be online for a few weeks. Therefore, I shall say what I have always wanted to say about him. For instance, his head stinks. A stinky head has he. He has a stinky head. So much does his head stink that I shall call him El Heady Stink. Let us all E-Mail him, proudly proclaiming of his stinky head. And Bold Letter Guy, the next time he submits something, make a comment about his stinky head. (Nyello)
Ha! I bet you thought that mine was over, well it's not! (Nyello)
I fooled you! (Nyello)
Now, it's really over (Nyello)
No, for real, It's over. (Nyello) (Nyello)
[Nyello, you frighten me.]
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I'm suing AOL because of a violation of privacy. The "You've Got Mail" guy should know that it's a federal offense to tamper with mail. Stay out of my mailbox! (BrutusBkye)
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If anyone's interested, I'm 60% blue, 26% white, 11% red and 2% yellow. (Bloodguilt)
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hey, i like monkeys too. i'm not ashamed to say it. I LIKE MONKEYS! actually, I LOVE MONKEYS!!! so put my name over in the corner, ya damn aol people. (Shilorider)
[No, because you called me a aol person, I'm in denile.]
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I think the random game is stupid and a waste of time. (BUZZKILLL)
[And let me get this straight--you think "Buzz Kill" isn't? I mean, it isn't to the point you named your screen name after it? Oh, by the way, I'm not denying anything here...]
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do Milk Duds even have an expiration date? (CortJstr)
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And now the moment you've all been waiting for: the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything: 42, or 13.36901522 times pi (CortJstr)
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God's final message to his/her/its creatures: We apologize for the inconvenience (CortJstr)
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where the hell is severna park, anyway? and for that matter, where the hell am i? (Shilorider)
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Everybody with the song "Low Rider" stuck in their heads, say "soup" (CortJstr)
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talking to someone you barely know for an hour is no way to have a normal afternoon. (Shilorider)
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I've sent in the same entry 3 times and you wont post it, you selfish S.O.B.! (Mr Onliner)
[But, I'll post this one...to make you look like a whiner.]
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heres a suggestion for something to put in the corner: "Shilorider likes goats." (Shilorider)
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seeker of truth
follow no path
all paths lead where
truth is here
-e.e. cummings (CortJstr)
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I'm double jointed and you're not so ha! (CortJstr)
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why did they make dyslexia so hard to read? (CortJstr)
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Why do you erase my messages. Do they...FRIGHTEN you? Getting a bit...SCARED? (Mr Onliner)
[You sound paranoid. Do you think I'm after you? I mean, specifically after just you?]
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who cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word lisp? (CortJstr)
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I'm serious, if you erase my message one more time, I'm gonna burn down your house. Grrrrrr....ruff! No, I wont. I'm justa jokin around. But, post my entries. (Mr Onliner)
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()))__CRAYOLA__))> (PoohBr58)
[We are supposed to mock ascii art, aren't we? But that's just so darn cute!]
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i saw beavis and butthead this weekend. then i went to chuck-e-cheese's, where a kid can be a kid. i was feeling pretty mature after that, so i went home. (Shilorider)
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And now, a little tune...
"Post my entries!"
by Mr Onliner
*Sung to the tune of "Frere Jaques"
Post my entries,
Post my entries,
Darkfont dude! Darkfont dude!
If you don't post them,
I'm gonna, uh, get real mad,
Darkfont dude.
The end. (Mr Onliner)
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Ms.Bold-Letter-type person....do you realize that YOU, sole YOU, are depriving me of a Monty Python CD-ROM? This could scar me for years after my current scars heal. (ScorpioAsh) This is the 478th, no its the 563rd, no i lost count, she enters 4000 times a day. Man she has a BIG mouth. (Docmoron)
[Yeah, but she got tokens, so I guess it works.]
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T'night, Ge'f* and I invented 'ur 'wn language. It-MEGAN-s really c'*l. (Bloodguilt)
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The orange and white cat ate the brown food. (CAPSULL)
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Um...what was the question? (STB 18)
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How long does it last? Can jokes be measured by the tokens in a game? (STB 18)
[Um, this game? When is the last time you saw a joke in here?]
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When was the last time AOL used banners? I know I haven't seen one in at least 3 years. (CortJstr)
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So this guy walks into a bar, right? What do you mean "no?" This is *my* joke, OK, and if i say a guy walks into a bar then he DAMN WELL WALKS INTO A BAR! (STB 18)
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I have an idea, everytime somebody can't get onto AOL an machine automatically pulls out one of his body hairs with rusty tweezers (CortJstr)
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How is Julius? Has he grown arms yet? (Bloodguilt)
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in france they call a french kiss an english kiss (CortJstr)
[What is it in England?]
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"Stay the hell out of Paraguay": a cardinal rule of travel (CortJstr)
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a pineapple is a berry (CortJstr)
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I have a question for you. Have you ever seen the show the roadrunner and the coyote? If you have what do you think the roadrunner is saying when he says to the coyote BEEP BEEP? I think he is cursing at the coyote. Because that is the word they use to cover up cussing in shows. (Bloodguilt)
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has anybody else been on AOL since windows version 1.1? We're a very small and pathetic group of people (CortJstr)
[Wow, what were the rates back then?]
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I enjoy being the subject of unfounded rumors and scurrilous lies. I'll give you some material to start with. I'm actually a Cuban drug pusher, I still wet the bed, and I'm not very skilled at Parcheesi. Actually, I don't know that I've ever played Parcheesi, but I would imagine that I wouldn't be very skilled if I did. (Bloodguilt)
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new idea, everybody who copies the rules or whines about pushing enter has to spend a whole day w/ Steve Case (and they have to take No-Doze so they don't miss anything) (CortJstr)
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Hey Scorpio, i mean bold letter guy, why do you always put your stupid nonfunny quotes up there and not mine. Mine are ten times funnier than yours you stupid a$$munch head and by the way i would like one token thats it.(Unless you would like to give me more for my funny entries). thanx scorp...bold letter guy. (Tewmbj11) (Tewmbj11)
[Okay, before I was sick. Then, I was frightened. Now, I'm confused.]
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I was reading thru the "how many tokens do i have" thing and i didnt see ScorpioAsh's name in there and i was just wondering why that was. oh well. (Tewmbj11) (Tewmbj11)
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The Top Thirty-four Islamic Sins (Haram or Mahzur) in order of severity 1. Kufr-misbelief 2. wilful slaying 3. fornication 4. sodomy 5. drinking wine 6. theft 7. wrongful accusation of adultery 8. calumny 9. slander 10. false witness 11. lying oaths 12. disavowal of kinship 13. disobedience to parents 14. fraudulent measure and weight 15. anticipating or postponing time of worship 16. uttering falsehoods against the apostle of Allah 17. striking a Muslim without just cause 18. Defamation of the companions of the apostle 19. Suppression of evidence 20. bribery 21. cuckolding 22. pandering 23. delation (delaying duties) 24. refusal of alms 25. despairing of the mercy of God 26. reliance upon cunning 27. aihar (divorce) 28. eating swine or animals died of themselves 29. breaking fast of Ramadan 30. treachery 31. making war against believers 32. sorcery 33. usury 34. persistence in minor sins (Bloodguilt)
[It's not as funny as a Top Ten.]
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I've been to Texas a few times. My dad got cuffed and a gun pulled on him by some whacked out off-duty policeman trying to impress his girlfriend. Pleasant memories. I also ate in a Kentucky Fried Chicken there when I was six. That's about the extent of my memories of Texas. (Bloodguilt)
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Maybee iff eye mispell wordz thene eye kan git mi kname on youre DAMN liste. (Tewmbj11) (Tewmbj11)
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I hate you. (Tewmbj11)
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Did you know what offal separation was before you met me? (Bloodguilt)
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I hate you. (Tewmbj11)
[There is no hate in Random's Happy World. Okay, now I made myself sick again.]
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Lemurs Cows AND Worms are very funny animals LEE PAYNE SAID THAT AT 11:02 AM (Bloodguilt)
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I just started a little cult. It was all just harmless fun. But then this big scandal erupted. They discovered that I was once a fan of the Monkees, and my follwers started an uprising against all the moral values for which I stand. (Bloodguilt)
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Don't stop the Random Game!!! Just sedate it regularly
(MissScully)
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Winners? (MissScully)
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Did you know the same production company that produced Reservoir Dogs also produced TV Nation, Roger & Me, and Pets or Meat? (Bloodguilt)
[Freaky man.]
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Today in Calculus, this guy kept looking and me and grinning really big, and I was really frightened. But then, as I was leaving class, I figured out why. He was sitting to the right of me, and I had my keys in that pocket. So sticking out of my pocket were the lower extremities of a rubber chicken. I thought you'd like to know. And I also decided on a name for him. His name is Eric. Eric the half a chicken. (Bloodguilt)
[You're in Calculus? You don't belong here then.]
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Qatlho'. ReH nay'meylIjyIn Dujablu'jaj. (Bloodguilt)
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No te creas todo lo que leas en internet. (Bloodguilt)
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Tus ojos me piden agarrarte por el cuello y exprimirlo. (Bloodguilt)
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I have no albinoes. DAMMIT! (Bloodguilt)
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scorpio i know its you (Tewmbj11)
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dont try to play games with me (Tewmbj11)
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I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. (Bloodguilt)
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Normally, I don't write to these things. But today and today only, I decided to say something. Just to be totally random. Plus I want a few tokens. (JoeSharkNH)
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BOY do i wish i was as creative as ScorpioAsh, he sure does have some witty sayings (Tewmbj11)
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its 3 am and i just got hives. (Parskanous)
[Allergic to nightlife?]
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Cosmo Framer and Queintin Tarantino are my idols. Not too flashy, tellin you what I feel (Jkb 45ppy)
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I had a kazoo.
Into it I blew.
Cucu katchoo.
Thank you. (JoeSharkNH)
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I'll be glad to consider you for some position of power in my "world of the future." (Bloodguilt)
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My friend Geoff has bl