[Oh!! There was just a story on the news about proof OJ's lawyers have that there was tampering of police-collected evidence. But, did I hear it? Nooo. I was too busy reading your Random Entries....They'll never repeat that story, I tell you! I hope you're happy now...]
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Who in their right mind would name their kid Newt? (PaulCrash)
[But, have you ever seen Newt's parents?]
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News Flash
Cancer is hereditary in laboratory mice! (Garav95)
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Initial name for Tickle -Me-Elmo doll that just got edged out during a midnight skull session. "Molest-Me-Cletus" (Garav95)
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Oh my gosh!! Lennonita's entry:
"Have you noticed, that, at Disneyland, every warning they give in Spanish while you're standing in line for a ride sounds like
*BING!!!*
Cinnamon toast and tacos on the floor, pour some more"
That was just too funny!!!
(MooGeneric)
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The Dime Lady story was a riot! (MooGeneric)
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I liked the old days, when AOL incurred hourly charges. (MooGeneric)
[I liked the old days, when you could connect to AOL and then stay online a whole 20 minutes before getting disconnected. ;o)]
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We'll call this catharsis, ok? I mean, I feel like Anais Ninn, take that as you will. I mean here's this guy, this goth punk boy, he seems to have come to life from the deepest recesses of my darkest fantasies. So, what he does is appeal to my darker side, the side I've gotten good at suppressing---until now. I mean, I know I'm a freak show, but I've gotten good at concealing it and hiding out in a cloak of semi-normalcy. This guy has no pretensions of such a thing. You know, I think he scares me. I wonder why? (MARLEY9089)
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OK, now I'm REALLY embarassed because I have no idea what posessed me to write about my sex life..it must be sleep deprivation working on me. That, and I'm ovulating... (MARLEY9089)
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I wonder how many guys cringed when they read "ovulating"? Not that ovulation is anything to fear.. (MARLEY9089)
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Even though I'm stuck here at work for, oh, say about 50 more hours, I think my number one priority right now should be sleep. (MARLEY9089)
[Just get another coffee and shake the need off. You can beat the urges. And just think of all the extra time you'll have each day. Think of what you could do with that time! I haven't slept in, oh who knows how long, and look at how well I'm doing! On second thought...]
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That guy on the radio is really starting to piss me off... (MARLEY9089)
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In the interst of world safety, I must get back to sticking labels on the remaining 535 postcards I have left to mail out for someone else.... (MARLEY9089)
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Was the guy who invented Dr.Pepper a doctor...or was he just a mere pepper? And by the way, I HATE Dr. Pepper...isn't it like fermented prune juice or something? I mean, what kind of sick bastard thought this one up? "Yum...prune juice! You know, this would taste even better if it was fermented!" We live in a sick world, people... (MARLEY9089)
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Here I sit all broken-hearted
Tried to crap but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance...
Tried to fart, but crapped my pants! (EvilClaws)
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Know what I REALLY hate? Tough, I'm going to tell you anyway. I hate it when people say, "No offence" Right before they tell you something really horrible about yourself, then you can't get mad at them because they said "No offence" Like one time my friend said to me, "No offence, but your head looks like a giant coffee cup." another time, someone said, "No offense, but your driving really sucks." And I couldn't get mad at them because they say NO OFFENCE!!! I hate that! It's like they mean it, but they don't want you to know that! Like, for example, this girl Shelly thought her boyfriend was a TOTAL idiot...but she didn't want him to get mad at her for thinking that...so she came up to him one day and was like, "Do you know what Karen said about you? She said you were a total IDIOT!" Know what else sucks? When you storm into a room, plop down on the couch, cross your arms and huff and puff for like five minutes, and start crying, then someone asks you if you're OK, and you're like, NO MORON OF COURSE I'M NOT!!! Ugh! I hate that! Know what else I hate? When my boyfriend comes home from a nudie bar at 4:00 in the morning, then yells at me the next day for coming home at 3:00 after hanging out with a guy I think of as my BROTHER!! (No, I don't practice incest!) OOOhhh, know what else sucks? When someone drinks the last of the milk, or puts it in a magician's hat in fron tof a bunch of old people. Or when someone won't leggo my eggo, or when there's a commercial for a really cool children's toy, and you go to the store to buy it and either they're all out, or there's this really fine print on the bottom of the box, half covered by the price sticker, that says "BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED" then you go to like six different stores looking for about eighty four "AA" batteries, to find that they're all out! Oh, I hate that! (Wow I'm full of complaints today...) (EvilClaws)
[You sound like the next Richard Lewis! No offense...]
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######### {*} {*} <_> (_________) \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ (AJcrafter)
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If I get anymore chain letters, I'm gonna explode. So stop. (PaulCrash)
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no speaka da enlish (Dawn619645)
[What exactly do you speaka?]
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hhheeeelllllpppppp!!!!
myyyy vvvviibbrratttoorrr iiss ssttuucckkk!!! (Dawn619645)
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I AM NOT A CHEESEHEAD (Dawn619645)
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If you don't sleep for forty days you will start to see bunnies (Cristops)
[Is that what those are? I thought they were aliens with bananas sticking out of the top of their heads...my mistake. But they do talk, right?]
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I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT BLUEWAFFLE!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S A BIG CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!! (Kumantes)
[We'll get Al D'Amato to investigate this the soon he's done with Whitewater. You may be in for a little wait.]
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God, these new people posting are freaking me out. (Kumantes)
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Once again, I say that I didn't say anything about BlueWaffle. Thank you. The Lotto Jackpot is now 18 million dollars. (Kumantes)
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If I catch one of you idiots cutting and pasting the rules again I will come to your house and run you over with a car. (Kumantes)
[Now there's the best thing I've heard in my whole, um, 24 hours at reading these entries.]
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Run! Its a Kid-Eating Cabbage Patch doll! Ahhh!! (Calvinbert)
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One of those cabbage patch dolls ate my cat last week. Actually, when I think of it, I haven't seen my family in awhile.....hey, where is my dog.....ummm......i gotta go.......AHHHHHH!! (Calvinbert)
[Think of what you can do with that doll, Calvinbert! Can I get in on this? We could start by going to my old high school. And why stop there! Let's go to Congress, and then the Oval Off--uh oh, I may have said too much; I feel the FBI breathing down my back. I don't want to turn around. You go! Don't let me hold you back!]
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.be dluohs uoY ?dourp uoy t'nerA .trebnivlaC ma I
(Read that backwards, dummies. Start with the "ma i" Sheesh, get a brian...) (Calvinbert)
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My posts never appear, oh well...
and by the way.....THERE'S ALWAYS A RUMBLE IN MY HOUSE. (Tocadisco)
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If there's no rumble in my house, there's always one in my stomach. (Tocadisco)
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I damn you to heaven! No...wait....that didn't come out right.....hang on...... (Calvinbert)
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I damn you to relive your freshman year at high school over and over again! Hey, its kinda like hell to me. (Calvinbert)
[I'm telling you, that Cabbage Patch Snack Time doll of yours...it can set the world right.]
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You know, my responses haven't been put in the folders. But you know what? That's okay, i'm not blaming anyone. And i'm not mad either....just trying to spread some love in the world. (Kenderyn)
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....cause you see....I LOVE everyone. (Kenderyn)
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The face of a child can say it all. Escpecially the mouth part of the face. (MutantYoda)
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I've found that the Random Game is useful for procrastinating on my homework and... well..that's it I guess. (JessGrl14)
[I've found that the Random Game can be used as a useful alibi as well...but, I think that's all now.]
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Mother, father, child, son
The Killer Whale eats everyone
Through his hole the acid spits,
Killer whale takes no _______
He's mean, he's lean, he's a giant whale
Swims in the shade with his Ginger Ale
selling his blubber for bread,
Killer whale makes sure you're dead.
"I heard he ate some guy named Ed!!"
The Killer whale, his teeth are red
Don't swim Little Billy, the current is strong
and can carry you away....
I forget to mention he wears a beret
He's a poet this whale, and he came from France,
With tie dyed shirts and leather pants.
Don't swim little Jimmy, the ocean is deep and you are small.
The Killer Whale will eat you all.
He's never full till he eats a Congress,
Killer Whale is humongous.
He lives along the ocean floor,
He eats the rich, he eats the poor
He loves to dance the cha cha cha
He dresses up for Mardi Gras
He's got a lovely singing voice
He's got a wife, her name is Joyce
They got married one summer day,
She didn't know she was his prey.
On their Honeymoon, she was his meal
He ate her with a side of veal
For dessert he had some chocolate cake
Along with Sally, George, and Blake.
Mother, father, child, son
The Killer Whale eats everyone.
(Tocadisco)
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******************ATTENTION**********************
************* ALL RANDOMERS******************
******************ATTENTION**********************
I heard a lot of requests (all from myself) for a Dear Toca column. So in order to do this....I NEED ALL OF YOU....To send mail to tocadisco@aol.com with any question you may have regarding love, music, life, football, making love at a football game while listening to music, anything.....send me the letter and i will enter your letter along with my response in the Random Game.
*********************THANK YOU******************
**********PLEASE MAIL YOUR LETTERS******
*************TOCADISCO@AOL.COM***********
********************THANK YOU*******************
(Tocadisco)
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How many roads must a cow moo through?
(Tocadisco)
[Before what happens?]
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(Sing to the theme of, Living on the Edge.)
There's something weird in the fridge today, I don't know what it is. Food I can't recognize. My roomate never throws a thing away, I guess its probably his. It looks like its alive! And living in the fridge! (Calvinbert)
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You know what? If I ever get a token form this stupid game I will probably die of shock before I can use it! (Calvinbert)
[Isn't that elevating the power of this game to a level unjustified? Now, if you won the Publisher's Clearinghouse, that would be reason... Oh wait, the message behind what you are saying isn't about that at all. You want me to give you tokens so I can see if it really kills you, that's it hmm? I admit, it's tempting.]
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I'm not feeling too random today.... (Calvinbert)
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Wait-a-minute...the Random Game had an age of reason? I missed something here didn't I........... (Calvinbert)
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Thou art an idiot if thou shalt not givest me my due of tokens. So hand them over quick! Thou shalt be a dillweed too. (JH Probe)
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i sent in a crap load of stuff last night, and damn it, i want to know where it is. (Wukkolar)
[Well, I didn't see them. But, I feel guilty now anyway.]
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A new era dawns... (JH Probe)
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Hey Bald Letter Guy, your witty responses amaze me... (JH Probe)
[You kiss ass very well. You disguised it so well that someone had to explain your post to me.]
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Hey Bald Letter Guy...Are you the one that puts the people's names in the left margin? (JH Probe)
[Would it impress you if I did?]
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aaaaaaaaawwweeeeeeeeeooooooo.....killer tofuuu! (Moodyviper)
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My antlers have spoken. (Moodyviper)
[Can you keep your antlers down? I have a hangover.]
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This monkey I've been hearing of sickens me... (JH Probe)
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My head is a blank too (JH Probe)
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Jumanji! Jumanji! Jumanji! (JH Probe)
[Them special effects were fantastic.]
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BlueWaffles make me fart... (JH Probe)
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this game makes me sad. (Fuzzysheep)
[We have something in common. It makes me cry.]
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come to my house. i have many cakes and pies. (Fuzzysheep)
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Hey Bald Letter Guy...Can you do me a favor? Give me a few tokens or two...I need a head start. (JH Probe)
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Why not Peru? (ELYN42)
[Am I going Uruguay? Oh man, I'm sorry I said that...]
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Green Acres (Kwakerjak)
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Why didn't you post the MOLR entry I sent it Friday, bold letter guy? Whatsa matter, fraid we might steal your dog? That's it! You think we're going to steal your dog! Well I'll tell ya something, Pedro, you post that entry or I'm gonna cry like a wounded puppy! (Mr Onliner)
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If I said you had a nice database, would you hold it against me? (Forty9erss)
[I don't have a big enough hard drive to contain a database, please don't hold it against me.]
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I wanna rearange my computer and put the "I" jumper switch and the "U" jumper switch together (Forty9erss)
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:::":":::"""::"":: (Forty9erss)
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Is it bad when your computer blows up? (Forty9erss)
[I don't think so. But it may be bad if your girlfriend is a blow up.]
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Green Acres is the place to be,
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land Spreadin' out so far and wide,
Keep Manhattan just gimme that countryside.
New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dahling I love you but give me Park Avenue.
Duh dun dah deh duh... THE CHORES!
Duh dun dah deh duh... THE STORES!
Duh dun dah deh duh... FRESH AIR!
Duh dun dah deh duh... TIMES SQUARE!
You are my wife... duh dun dah deh...
Goodbye, city life! duh dun dah deh
GREEN ACRES WE ARE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kwakerjak)
[I hope you are willing to pay the 10 cent royalty now...]
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duh dun dah deh duh.... DUN DUN!!!! (Kwakerjak)
[And 5 cents for that. See, even with the unlimited plan AOL will find ways to charge you extra.]
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Ir'i'des'cent n. Symbol adj. Poonit=! (Forty9erss)
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so how many of you do know how to type with just one hand? (AIM64C)
[Not me, that's for sure. I need a minimum of 3 hands. 4 if you want punctuation.]
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:p so I didn't wasre time here sending in entries to not get posted anyway!!!! (GrmpiBear)
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I cook and clean and I'll marry you if you give me tokens. (Raini01)