you'll never have another pet like a ferret. these furry things are the cutest, most intelligent, and most destructive things around. ever watch a two-year-old baby? seen how cute and annoying they are? well, make them small and slippery. so why own a weasel?--why have a baby?! the first rule of ferret ownership is *PATIENCE*--you'll need lots of it and understanding. ferrets are very inquisitive, and they're smart enough to figure out almost anything. one of my ferrets likes to "read"--she'll climb the bookcase (they're great climbers) and knock a few selected books to the floor. i've learned to just replace them on the shelves as i go past. ferrets will get into anything they can--they can't help being nosy. and, as smart as they are, they rarely learn that certain actions are bad. but they master the "i'm sweet and innocent" look at birth! ours even lay down and sigh to make us feel guilty!

as in the picture, ferrets love toes. and insoles of shoes, and a vitamin called linatone, and digging and tunneling. some like raisins and banana chips, or peanut butter, but too much human food can be dangerous to their health. ferrets are quite content with a good quality cat chow--beware, the milk-added ones are bad--and actually behave much as cats do. they use the litter box, usually, (or a nearby corner) chase balls, etc. but ferrets can do things a cat can't, such as digging under doors--if their head will fit, they will--and hiding everything under appliances or furniture. ferrets are natural thieves. and in the sofa is a great hidey-hole where only ferret owners will ever look. and i mean *in* the sofa. the fabric underneath will be quickly dug away. a happy ferret will do a little dance and make "dooka" noises when played with. making the bed with them on it seems to be a favourite game of ours. male ferrets tend to be more lethargic than females, and every sable female i've met is rambunctious as all get-out. i don't know if this is coincidence or not. ferrets need lots of room to play--ours are "free-range"-- and like company. we have one who thought it was a cat for the longest time. if you don't have lots of time, don't get a ferret, unless it has a mate of sorts to play with. human companionship is the best. if you must cage your ferret, be sure it has lots of space and toys. and when you let it out, be ready for chaos. cooped-up ferrets store their energy for those times! always watch your step with ferrets around, and beware they don't head outside without a leash. sure death. one last thing: if you don't have a good sense of humour, *DON"T GET ONE AT ALL!*

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