My Reflections
I have learned in the past few months that the journey to heal is a rough and very painful road. Much of the time it feels too hard to walk this journey and I just want to turn around and go back to when I was able to block it out. I know that in order to move on and have the peace in my life that I am seeking that it is a journey I must take. I often wonder why me? What did I do to deserve all this, in my mind I know the answer, I did nothing. What would my life be like had I not been abused? I can'timagine my life without it. Fact is that I was abused. It has caused me alot of pain, but the abuse has made me who I am today. I think that the hardest part for me is believing that it happened and believing that the abuse was not my fault, it is all my abusers fault. I know this. I couldn't have done anything to stop it other than share this secret with others. I am a survivor and I will make it through this.
Coming to Realize....
I have done a lot of thinking lately and I have realized that for me healing doesn't mean getting over the abuse. For me it is more about finding myself, getting to know the real me and no longer hiding behind a mask. It's about learning how to accept the way that I feel and understanding why I feel the way that I do and knowing that it is okay for me to feel this way.
I have come to realize that the abuse can only hurt me for as long as I allow it to. I have that choice. I can and will decide not to let the abuse or my abusers to inhibit my future.