Dancing in the Dark


As he passed down the halls of the dojo in his yukata and socks, Kenshin peered into various rooms, checking for the impossible - an intruder.

Yahiko was snoring soundly, sprawled out on his futon with limbs askew at all angles. He was a good boy - he would grow up to be the perfect and deserving inheritor of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, if he would only stop taunting the current shihondai and practice a bit more... Nodding a bit to himself, almost as if there was a mental checklist he was going through, Kenshin took one last lingering look at the sleeping child and shut the shoji soundlessly. Yahiko had not had an easy childhood - that was painfully obvious in the wisdom in those brown eyes and the way he held himself straight and rigid even in the face of opponents that a normal ten-year-old would have no chance of defeating. This child struck a chord in him - he, too, had had his childhood stolen from him in the wink of an eye, the sweeping of disease over the fields where his parents had lived and toiled, the barks and beatings of the slave traders - even Hiko had not spared him from the trials of adult life. Yes, Kenshin knew very well the ache of lost youth, and had promised himself to give this boy his back. And with every “busu” and mumbled curse as he was sentenced to five hundred strokes, the Rurouni saw that child resurfacing - the one who would not put up with name calling and babying, who would growl and (still in a very un-child like way) pout and wreak havoc until he got what he wanted - slowly, he was gaining some of that back, although Yahiko would never be a kid of his age like Ayame or Suzume-chan were. They had stolen that from him, and nothing could ever give it back... but he was, nevertheless, a good boy. He would be the perfect inheritor of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu when it was time for his sensei to settle down with a nice, pure young man.

The smile that had appeared as he watched Yahiko in his slumber failed for a moment.

A much louder set of course, grunting snores rang from one of the spare rooms. Sanosuke, having had a bit too much sake to drink at the Akabeko, had followed them home to the Dojo on half-steady feet, calling the one tripping incident he suffered an attempt to knock Yahiko into the river. Needless to say, Yahiko hadn’t been amused. When they had entered the gate, Sanosuke made straight for the room where he sometimes took shelter, with only a ruffled goodnight. Passing the door and hearing the man grumble something under his breath, Kenshin merely shook his head and continued; Sano did not need any sort of looking after on his part, and he felt no need to - the urges he had to guard Yahiko were different, of course - part fatherly, part brotherly, although he knew nothing of either instincts. Sanosuke was a best friend that he trusted with all his heart - and few had that privilege. The snores dimmed as he continued down the hall.

Ever since he had taken refuge in the dojo, weary for the moment of wandering the whole of Japan, Kenshin had felt the need to pace during the nights, down the halls and around the grounds. This compulsive behaviour stemmed from his fear of enemies seeking to harm him through his newly found family, but there were other reasons, too. He had to remind himself that he did this because during the night, anyone could open the gate to the dojo and walk in without trouble; anyone could break in silently and snatch a friend from their bed; anyone could hurt any of the people he had learned to live with. He had to remind himself many times, in fact, as he stopped in front of a particular shoji door, a faint smile reappearing on his face and his violet eyes softening.

He had to remind himself, even though he knew the truth - that he wandered these halls to catch a glimpse of her as she slept. That was what made these graveyard posts worthwhile.

The soft rise and fall of her chest as she slept, the way her hands curled beside her in small, loose fists, the sounds she made - everything about her touched him. The curl of her lips that told him whether the dream she was experiencing was happy or not led him to sometimes crouch down beside her - afraid to touch her lest she wake and find him in her room - and mumble endearing things to her fitfully sleeping form, watching with adoration as she’d calm and a sleepy smile would light her face. Every twitch, every mumble, every breath - every flutter of her lashes lead his heart to flutter. Yes, he was ensnared by this eighteen-year-old kenjutsu instructor - she held his strings like some sort of puppet master, and he never seemed to mind. In fact, he would have been very content with merely living by her side, sharing these precious moments in the dark and silence of every few nights - that would have been enough if it hadn’t been for the constant plague of enemies and vengeance-seekers. More then once had she almost been kidnapped - once, she had actually been spirited away, a crude doll left in her place. He shook the memory from his head, the deeply uprooting sense of guilt and fear and acute pain bubbling under his heart, leaving him aching for her comfort.

But, that would never happen, he knew. He would never touch her, or try to - he was too stained for such a vessel of light, an angel on earth. She was much too good for him.

With a quiet sigh, he stood in front of her room. Would, one day, she not be there when he entered? Would she never return? He did not even want to think about that, and, needing to reassure himself that it was merely a paranoid thought and not the reality, he slid the shoji door open soundlessly.

Of course, on the night he decided to worry, she was not there.

He didn’t register the empty blankets for a moment. When it did hit him, he looked around the room in a daze - but no, she wasn’t there. Still confused and out of touch with reality, he stepped back outside and went back to Sanosuke’s room at a steady trot; the street fighter was curled up on the floor in a very ungangsterly like manner, but, he was alone. The bathroom was vacant, and the bathhouse was empty.

A wind quivered through the trees, picking up another draft and rocking the dojo gate. At the sound of the almost inaudible creaking, Kenshin’s senses shot through the roof - someone had taken her.

Without thought - for apparently the frightened Rurouni had not the sense to check the various other rooms of the dojo - he ran to the front doors, where they sat, locked and secure. The gate was unopened, and he could see no trace of an intruder.

His hand painfully tight on his sakaba, Kenshin whispered into the wind, ”masaka... Kaoru-dono... where are you?!” He made quite the dramatic picture, sheathed sword clenched in his fists, red hair lazily cascading around him as the breeze died down, violet eyes aflame in a sea of amber, narrowed to slight slits in his apprehension.

But, then, he noticed the light flickering from the dojo hall, and the swish of a bokken cutting air.

“Oro...”

Feeling incredibly relieved that no one had been around to see his dramatic display, Kenshin sighed and tucked the sakabatou back at his waist, heading towards the dojo. He could hear her breath as she completed another set of strokes, he could smell the faint trace of candle smoke on the wind as the light flickered on the walls. Stopping a bit behind the doorway, he inched forward to watch her from a vantage point where the shadows would obscure his red hair and magenta gi.

She was amazing.

The way her whole body fluidly completed the kata, the shift of curve and muscle all changing into one giant wave of moment, never ending and constant, the way her eyes brightly burned even in the dim light of a single candle - this all drew him in. It was more then a simple platonic love he had for her - it went deeper then that, and watching her practice gave him a satisfaction - the way the sweat glistened on her body, the gap in the top of her gi where he could catch a glimpse of the cloth she used to bind her chest. But, honestly, it was more emotional then physical. This was her, in her essence - she was a strong, honest person, capable of living her own life and taking care of herself - the way she worked with the frail wooden twig in her hand told him this. The fact that she had the guts to chase after the Hitokiri Battousai in the dark streets of Tokyo, intending on teaching him a lesson with nothing but her bokken - that told him so. But, added onto this, was the distinct feminism she carried with her - and, somehow, the fact that she practiced kenjutsu in a hakama and gi only seemed to enforce the fact. She wore bright kimonos during the day, and although he had nothing against bright colours (he would be a hypocrite to say so, with the colour of the clothes he wore) she seemed much more natural, and therefore all the more innocent, in the cream and navy colours of her training outfit.

Her breath came in a sharp exhalation as she paused, arm stretching the bokken into the imaginary opponent she faced and legs wobbling underneath her. Having the impression that she was about to fall from weariness - judging from the wick’s length, the candle had been burning for an hour at least, and she had been here for that long - Kenshin took a step into the light. But, at that time, she stood straight and uttered a grumpy “mou”, and he thought it best for his health to step back into the shade. She could have quite a temper...

She sighed a bit, lifting her arms over her shoulders to stretch. She tapped her feet out to the side, and then shook her head, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Carrying the bokken with her, her arms raised, she opened her eyes - about to complete another set of kata; Kenshin watched eagerly from the darkness waiting for her to take the first step.

But instead, she dropped her arms in a heavy flop and shook her head. Obviously disheartened, she walked over to the shrine and placed the bokken in it’s place, running a hand over her face. When she turned back around, walking towards the center of the dojo and, more importantly, closer to where he hid, Kenshin contemplated vanishing until he noticed she had stopped and closed her eyes.

The candlelight flickering over her face and shoulders, head bowed, she stood silently. Kenshin was the slightest bit intrigued by what she was doing - as she lowered herself to the ground, hakama pleats stretching as her knees bent, he narrowed his eyes and tilted his head a bit, now confused. The way she was standing looked very familiar, but he could not place it...

And then, suddenly, he understood, as she began to make subtle movements, some that he could barely detect.

This was...

Dumbly, he sat back in the shadows, blinking very slowly.

Kaoru danced?!

... and she wasn’t all that bad, either...

He could not even detect the movement of her feet beneath her hakama hem; her arms moved slowly and magically, and, as he watched in a stupor, he realized, as her body shifted, that her movements were so graceful and perfect that he could not remember her arms being down, her face being hidden by her bangs just a moment ago. It was slow, continuous in a halting way - he could not tell when she was moving or when she was standing still, but there were moments when time seemed to stop as she stood there, the soft dusty light from the flickering flame stilling as she did.

It was all so perfect.

Coming as no big surprise to him that she would practice a strictly male form of art, he continued watching her. It was amazing, how she could carry out a sweep of her arm without really seeming to move...

All so perfect.

He was so consumed by the dance that, when she stomped her foot empathetically to the beat that she carried out, the noise loud in the middle of the night, he started and said an absent, “oro.”

Kaoru stopped suddenly and spun around, eyes immediately catching the wisp of red hair fluttering in the shadows.

“Ken... Kenshin?!” Promptly standing straight again, Kaoru peered through the darkness. “What are you doing there?!”

... he was such a dead man.

Dumbly stumbling over his tongue as she began to walk towards him, Kenshin unveiled himself from the shadows, at her mercy. “... ano... sumimasen de gozaru yo, Kaoru-dono... sessha did not mean to intrude, and-“

“How long have you been standing there for?” She interrupted, and even in the faint light of the candle, he could see her cheeks flush. This encouraged him, and, smiling, he stepped into the dojo completely.

“Sessha was checking up on everyone, and you were not in your room... I came out to check here, and you were practicing...” She watched him, waiting for him to continue - and obviously hoping that he wouldn’t. “... sessha saw you dance... you are very good, de gozaru yo...”

A sweet sense of satisfaction came over him as he watched her cheeks redden further.

“... I... I am not...” She grumbled, before shaking her head and turning her back. “Kenshin no baka! You shouldn’t spy on people like that!”

“Suman de gozaru yo... sessha was worried.”

It was the truth, too - if he hadn’t seen the light in the dojo, he would have torn up half of Edo looking for her by now.

She stopped at this, and he could hear her sigh from across the hall. Ah, the guilt trip always worked...

“... you really think I’m good...?”

He smiled widely as she cast an embarrassed glance over her shoulder.

“Iya. Kaoru-dono is better then ‘good’. I believe sessha’s exact words were ‘very good’.”

Oh, how he loved watching her blush like that.

“I never knew you danced de gozaru,” he said after a moments pause, and she shrugged self-consciously, turning her back and rubbing her arm.

“... well... when I was little...” A pause, and then she shook her head quickly. “Never mind, you must be tired,” she said, brushing her story off and moving to retrieve her haori, but he took a step forward and sat deftly on the ground, placing the sakabatou at his side. At the sound, she turned around to watch him.

“Sessha is not tired,” he said simply, loving the confused look on her face as she blinked, confused by the invitation he had not so subtly laid out - especially since her was patting the floor beside him, beckoning her to join him. With another sigh and a curt nod, she walked back over and kneeled down in front of him, hands twisting in her lap.

“When I was little,” she started, pausing until he nodded gently, encouraging her to continue, “... I don’t... remember much of my mother... I can’t remember anything, really, other then her crying... and when she danced. Father was not supposed to know about her dancing. She only did it when she was alone, in her room when father was out. She told me once, as I watched, that he would be very angry if I told anyone, so I had to be quiet and keep it a secret. I never did tell him,” she mumbled, before smiling half-heartedly. “I still have the most vivid pictures of her in my mind, in a white kimono with a pink obi and a small, paper fan that she found in a chest somewhere... don’t even remember her face... it was amazing, how she could move without... moving. Like water that does not look like it’s moving, but it really is... you know?”

He nodded a bit, and she looked back down at her hands. “I wanted to try it, too. I just copied what my mother taught me, and what I saw... plus, it’s a good way to train my muscles. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to stand like that,” she chuckled to herself. Kenshin nodded quietly, watching her. “It’s very... calming, too. When I get angry... when I can’t seem to do anything right... like... back then. I just couldn’t get that kata right... instead of getting all worked up over it, I dance... and it makes me feel better... you know.”

He nodded for a while, seeing into her mind a bit; it was sort of like when he got lost in the laundry suds, Kenshin guessed.

Both were silent for a while, and Kaoru absently played with her hands, obviously still embarrassed by the entirety of the episode. It was endearing to see the faint colour on her cheeks as she sat there in gi and hakama, waiting for him to say something - something off the topic of her dancing. “Please... don’t tell Yahiko or Sanosuke...” She mumbled after a pause. “I’d never live it down... the dancing racoon,” she snorted out, and Kenshin chuckled and nodded despite the fact that he firmly believed that she was no species of racoon.

“Sessha will not tell a soul... and if Kaoru-dono would like, sessha will warm up a bath for you, de gozaru yo.”

She lifted her head and met his eyes, before looking back down, considering his offer. After a moment, she nodded a bit.

“That would be nice... I wouldn’t want to go to Winston-sensei’s class all sweaty tomorrow,” she mumbled, standing up. Kenshin followed suit, blinking.

“Winston-sensei...?”

She nodded, mumbling to herself, “I guess there’s no use hiding now... You know how I’ve been visiting the other dojo to teach?”

Kenshin nodded; she spent most of her time in the mornings at various dojos around town...

“Y’know how I don’t get back until after lunch...? Well, the class doesn’t take up the entire morning... I’m attending a Western dance class.”

Now this floored him.

“Oro... western dance?”

“It just opened a while ago,” she said quietly, tugging on her haori and warming her arms. The candle was starting to fail. “It’s very different from the dancing we’re used to, and it’s done with a partner.” He was happy her back was to him - she would not be able to see the look of horror that passed over his face.

A partner?!

“Oro... what do you mean by ‘partner’, de gozaru ka...?”

“A dance partner - you know, a man I dance with.”

... he disapproved of this already.

“A stranger?” He managed to choke out, watching at her ponytail bobbed in agreement.

“Normally I dance with Toyozo-san, but sometimes Winston-sensei himself dances with me. It’s a great privilege, of course.”

A privilege, indeed - only for the lecherous men who got to manhandle his innocent Kaoru! “Ano... how long have you been...?”

“Around a month... a month and a half? The class will be over soon, though...” She sounded depressed about it, although he could not figure out why.

Kenshin watched as she dutifully examined the dojo, returning it to it’s previous order, cleaning the floor where she had scuffed it slightly with the corner of her haori and resting on the balls of her feet, her ocean eyes turned away from him. “That’s bad, de gozaru ka...?”

“Well... if you pass the course... it’s stupid, really, but they’re handing out medallions and trophies...”

She trailed off, staring at the floor intensely; he blinked and called her name, cajoling her to return to her mind.

“Ah, gomen...” She barely shook her head, trying to dismiss the topic.

“Iya, what about the trophies?”

“It’s childish...”

Kenshin smiled warmly and tilted his head to the side lightly. “Sessha doesn’t believe so, Kaoru-dono. What about the trophies?”

“... I... well... really want to get a trophy. It would... I don’t know why, but... my mother died before I could ever show her how much I...” Her voice did not work for a moment, and finally, she struggled out, “it’s just important for my mother to be proud of me. If I get a trophy, I know she will be.”

With his heart aching, Kenshin walked over to her and kneeled alongside her on the dojo floor, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Kaoru-dono,” he spoke in all sincerity, “sessha is positive that your mother would be proud of you no matter what...”

She nodded a bit after a pause during which the tears in her eyes had threatened to spill; but, she held them back with fierce determination. “Yes... I know... but, still... it would make me happy... and proud of myself, too...”

He sat on one knee, watching her down turned face. She was such an innocent, beautiful person - inside and out. For a long time, they just sat like that, growing accustomed to the dimming light and the whisper of the wind, until Kaoru smiled thinly.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. I won’t get a trophy. Probably won’t even qualify for a medallion...” Her bit her words off angrily and pushed herself violently to her feet.

Taken aback by the harsh tone of her voice, Kenshin frowned and stood up with her once more. “Why would you say that de gozaru yo?”

“I haven’t been practicing,” she stated simply. “I haven’t anyone to practice with, and I surely can’t do it all by myself. Toyozo-san is a busy man... he barely has time for the classes, and all of the other men already practice with their partners... I’ll never qualify.”

“... Yahiko-kun?”

At this, she laughed loudly. “I’d give up kenjutsu before I told Yahiko that I danced! Could you imagine the poor boy’s shock?! And the torture I’d have to put up with? Besides, he’s much too small to practice with... I’d have to reach down to even touch his shoulder!”

Kenshin frowned. “Sanosuke, then.”

“I’d have to get three-foot-tall geta to even touch his shoulder, never mind the fact that he would never agree to dancing. Seriously, Kenshin...” She shook her head and smiled half-heartedly. “I won’t find a partner anywhere... there’s no one who would be willing to dance with a tanuki-chan like me.”

The pain, the self-rejection and the resignation in her voice shocked him so deep to his core - this was Kaoru-dono, never doubting, strong, stubborn Kaoru-dono, after all - that he hadn’t realized what he was saying until she stopped on her way out the dojo and turned to him, wide-eyed. “What did you say?”

“Se... sessha will be your... practice partner, de gozaru yo.”

Kaoru blinked again, before shaking her head, dumbfounded. “No, Kenshin, I wouldn’t want to force you to-“

“You are not forcing sessha... if it would help Kaoru-dono to practice, when I will practice with you, de gozaru yo.” Firmly, he nodded his head and moved back into the dojo. “It is not that late yet... would you like to practice some tonight, de gozaru ka?”

Kaoru, still dazed, stood for a moment, until he called to her like before. Nodding stiffly, she came forward, taking her haori back off and laying it on the floor. “Aa... I... guess... but, you don’t have to do this, Kenshin...”

“If it will help you, then I do. Now, come. Sessha... doesn’t exactly know this western dancing...”

He shifted his feet a bit as Kaoru approached him and stood in front of him, looking nervous and shy - he wondered if she could tell just how nervous he was, too.

“Well... first...” Obviously gathering her courage, Kaoru put her left hand on his shoulder and nodded once herself. “You put your left hand on my back... no, I’m sorry, your right hand. Now, put it...” She shook her head again and then pulled her hand from his shoulder, and took his hand, which had been hovering over her hip as if that was as far as his arm bent. As she firmly planted it on her shoulder blade, Kenshin suddenly began regretting his choice to help, and he swallowed quietly as she continued. “Now... hold out your other hand...” Gently, she took it and spread his palm open, urging him to close her fingers in his and then holding their hands out in the air at their sides. Returning her free hand to his shoulder, she nodded.

“Okay...”

Kenshin blinked, finding it harder and harder to keep his breath steady. “... now what...?”

“Now... we... dance, I guess,” she mumbled, before heaving a deep breath from her lungs. It tickled his ear, and he felt his stomach stir. This had definitely not been a good idea...

“I guess you’ll just have to follow my lead... okay. Now, step forward with your left foot... yes, and then mine goes back. Now... you sort of have to... no no, stay where you are... but, sort of...”

Grinning sheepishly, he stepped backwards and away from her, needing to recollect his wits, and Kaoru uttered a “mou” under her breath.

Sensing her impatience and hoping that she wasn’t angry with him, Kenshin tried to fix the mess he had gotten himself into. “Gomen... sessha... isn’t very good at this de gozaru na...”

Kaoru looked up at him and smiled brilliantly, though, as if nothing was wrong - as if he was the best dancing partner she’d ever had the chance of dancing with. “You should have seen my first try... okay. So, first, you take a step forward, and I take a step back... see?”

“Ha-hai... demo, what do I-“

“You... here, I’ll show you. Watch my feet, okay?”

Looking down in between them, he watched as Kaoru swept her foot down towards the stationary one, and then to the side. When her left foot finished moving, she stepped towards it with her right.

“See?”

“Aa... sessha thinks so. Let us try again, de gozaru ka?”

She smiled and nodded, and, after a few sidesteps and backtracks, they stood halfway through the basic movement of the waltz. It was a very awkward position, as he fought for control inside himself - one part of him aching to fully encircle her in his arms, one screaming to run as far as he could, one content to just stay the way they were; and one, amber-eyed and demanding, wanting much more then just the simple brush and the warmth they shared. She was magnificent - someone he surely did not deserve, but, still, everything in his being, every fibre of his mind and his heart drew him to her, leaving him bereft of doubt - he loved this woman. Very deeply. And he would do anything for her - including late-night dancing practices... but, he would never have the nerve to actually tell her that.

“Kenshin, are you paying attention?”

“Ah, uh, hai... suman, Kaoru-dono...”

She chuckled and he held back a happy sigh as she shook her head gently, continuing to lead him around on the floor.

“... so... now... it’s back to where we started?”

“Exactly!”

“This isn’t that hard, de gozaru yo...”

“There! We’ve completed one pattern! Now, let’s try one more... and, back, and-“ She was becoming a bit too excited, and was trying to speed up, but he was not quite ready...

“Itai,” he hissed as she crushed down on her toes with a heavy step of her heel.

“Go-gomen nasai, Kenshin!” Releasing him, Kaoru put her hands to her face. “I didn’t mean to! Oh, are you all right? Some dancer I am!”

Tending to his toes with the opposite foot and hobbling a bit off-center, Kenshin smiled reassuringly. “Daijoubu, daijoubu de gozaru... it’s okay.” When the pain had dulled, he deliberately stepped forward, and, this time, placed his own hand on her shoulder and folded her fingers in his other. As she began to protest again, he shook his head and gave her a strong look that stopped her from continuing. “Iya... that was sessha’s fault for taking too big of steps... shall we continue de gozaru ka?”

He shouldn’t be doing this. It was just encouraging the parts of him that wanted to wrap her in his arms and embrace and caress and touch her - Kenshin shivered a bit as she stepped towards him, hoping that she hadn’t noticed. He shouldn’t be doing this... but... it all felt so nice...

“Demo...”

“You have to practice, correct?”

Kaoru blinked, and he could see a faint blush coating her cheeks again. “Hai...”

He was probably being much too forward... she could tell that he was enjoying this too much... but, he didn’t necessarily care.

“Well, then, let us continue.”

Another one of those magnificent smiles lighted on her face, and she nodded. Quietly instructing him again, he found it easier this time to follow the movement of her feet; and, slowly, he began to take the lead, feeling her adjust.

The candle was steadily losing fuel, flickering spasmodically against the walls, cleaving shadows from around their figures and the corners of the walls. A soft, cool wind drizzled into the hall, crawling along the floor and around their ankles, and the chirps of a few nocturnal insects sang in the background of the otherwise quiet night. It was quite... romantic, now that he thought about it...

“So... this is it, de gozaru yo?” He asked quietly after a moment of careful shifting around the dojo floor.

Kaoru laughed happily, a noise, which made his knees weak. “No... not even close... but, this is the basics.”

“It’s very... relaxing,” he added.

They were almost the same height - he was just a few inches taller then her, but, even so, when she tilted her head down to hide her persistent smile, he felt like she was even smaller then his petit form - and therefore, she needed all the more protection. Unconsciously, he closed the gap between them until they were abreast and he could smell the faint scent of her hair.

Although the night was chilled and the minute heat that the candle shed did not even reach them, Kenshin felt no cold. With Kaoru cozied up against him, he did not really forget his reasons for normally keeping his distance from her - he just put them aside for the moment. Not once did he try to act on his own bubbling feelings of passion - because, surely, she would hate him; there was no chance she returned any of his affection... but, as they danced, he could pretend. It was very nice.

“Yes... it is,” she mumbled in response. “The music we normally dance to is very nice... this is much different then kenjutsu, but it makes me feel the same... you know. Peace.” Her voice was muted because she had turned her chin into her chest and was speaking in hushed murmurs that trailed down his neck and his gi, the soft warmth there from her breath.

“Mm,” he agreed, falling silent afterwards - although the peace he was feeling at the moment was mostly because he was with her. His head was tilted slightly over her shoulder, and from this position, he could see the tie in her hair - and it was all the more enticing because now he knew that he could unfurl it with nothing more then a flick of his fingers. He had always wanted to run his fingers through her hair... Kenshin leaned a bit closer to catch a drifting bit of the perfume she carried with her - the faint jasmine and lilac scent that made him heady. When he came that much closer, though, he felt her head shift from beside him and, without a word, she placed it on his shoulder and turned her nose against his throat.

“... arigatou, Kenshin... for practicing with me...” She mumbled, and nuzzled her cheek against his jawline. The realization that she was that close finally surfaced, and it broke over hard - tensing up, he nodded stiffly and his steps started to become forced and sharp. This was wrong - he was taking advantage of her! Oh, what a terrible, terrible man he was! She was so pure, so innocent, so - so young! Continuing on in his head, he grew more and more distressed until, finally, Kaoru noticed, and, with a playful tone in her otherwise rebuking voice, she told him to relax.

It was not so much the words themselves that made him want to dismiss the arguments in his head, but the sound of her voice; she was happy, content, comfortable - she wanted this, too... that meant that it couldn’t be all that bad... right? He nodded again as she nuzzled against him, and something in his head told him fiercely that this was still terribly wrong of him - to take advantage of her like this - but the haze that had started to form when she had touched his shoulder was gradually blocking all sensible thought out.

“Mou! Why are you so tense?” She said below his ear, and he could feel the damp warmth of her breath along his neck. Well, I’m dancing with a beautiful woman that I’ve been dreaming about for the past few months... I think that’s reason enough.

But, of course, he did not say that. A quiet, “suman de gozaru yo” sufficed to calm her as she shook her head a bit. Making a conscious effort to relax his muscles and just continue the slow movement, his mind, once again, forced down the thoughts of her purity and how he was tainting it at that very moment, replacing them with the simple reality; they were together, and no matter how wrong it was, it felt so right.

Kenshin found himself staring at the tie in her hair again. It was becoming harder and harder to focus on the reasons - that she needed to practice - and easier and easier to simply move with her, watching the back of her head as she sighed against his throat. And, finally, he reached up with the hand that had been on her shoulder and pulled the tie from her hair. Watching through eyes half-lidded with layers of warmth and happiness and overall contentedness, he smiled softly and turned his lips against the midnight silk of her hair.

“... Kenshin...”

The fact that she did not sound frightened or wary or disgusted by his touch only made it that much easier to forget completely every reason he had ever created to not love her.

She was so perfect.

Kenshin pulled her a bit closer, placing the hand that had previously been on her shoulder in the small of her back and drawing her against him. “Suman,” he said quietly, but did not release her. Stiffening suddenly against him, she was now the one who was slightly tense - confused by his touch, but not pushing it away - but, just as quickly, as he whispered, “this is very relaxing indeed” in a voice that he hoped would dissolve any idea of running away, she settled again. He mumbled something into her hair, his voice a low croon, and she smiled although even he did not know what he had said. It seemed to calm her more, nevertheless - and, shyly at first, the hand she had held his shoulder with slowly drew down, her warm fingers brushing against the opening in his gi and tracing the lines of his chest. This warmth he was sharing with her - everything about the Bakumatsu, his guilt and his sins and his penance, his wandering days - those meant nothing now. This warmth, this touch, this comfort - it was all he could ever need, and he would have been absolutely at ease to stay like this for the rest of his life, with her in his arms. Letting his emotions get the better of him, Kenshin placed his lips gently on her temple, brushing away her hair with his nose. She muttered something as he trailed another soft, almost nonexistent kiss on her cheekbone. Feeling his hair brush against her skin, she twisted her neck a bit to relieve the tickling - without thought, he dropped a few elegant touches of his lips on the soft skin there.

“Kenshin,” she breathed into his ear - so loving, so welcoming, so pure - and, he looked up into her misty eyes, seeing, swimming, drowning in the pools of blue and finding the same feelings he felt for her reflected in them. She smiled softly, tilting her face towards his, asking for something that she didn’t even seem to know she wanted. He knew, though...

“Aa...” He nodded a bit, before lowering his face towards hers. She just watched him through tired half open eyes, and when he pressed his lips against hers, she smiled and leaned into him, bracing her weight against his small frame as they continued dancing.

Sometime during that kiss, something broke inside of him - the wall he had built that kept him from recognizing the painfully obvious - that she felt just as strongly for him, as he did for her. It might have been when she clenched one fist in his gi and the other sought to entwine with his fingers, or when she pressed herself against him and he found that she fit perfectly in his arms - or when, when he began to move away, she made a delightful sound of protest and drew him back against her vehemently, angry at him for trying to leave in the first place.

And, then - although he still had questions and concerns - he no longer fretted over the idea that she did not accept him or care for him, or that she was frightened of him. She loved him as much as he loved her.

His chest shuddered with the intense feelings, and he broke the kiss to lean his forehead against hers, tilting his face to kiss her fluttering eyelids. “Kaoru...” She looked as if she was lost in a dream for a moment, before, slowly, her eyes opened.

“... you didn’t call me Kaoru-dono...”

He blinked, before smiling softly and nodding - his heart swelling as she smiled so perfectly and snuggled into his arms, rubbing her nose against his throat, “I like having you as my partner...”

I like having you as my partner... Kenshin chuckled softly, kissing her ear.

“Aa... Kaoru...”

“Nani?” She mumbled sleepily.

“... it’s late... you should get some sleep, de gozaru yo...”

“Mm,” she nodded, and then snuggled closer. “But it’s so comfortable...”

“... the candle has gone out,” he added, trying to convince her to retreat to her futon, although he hated the idea of letting her go as much as she seemed to.

“Then let’s keep dancing,” she said simply. “I haven’t finished practicing yet...”

With a nod, he placed his scared cheek against her shoulder and nuzzled his nose against her ear.

By the time she had fallen asleep in his arms, it was almost morning, and, dutifully, he carried her back into her room and finally took a moment to watch her sleep - but, this time, when she stirred with a slight frown as he pulled away, he was not afraid to touch her. Dropping a kiss on her forehead, she stilled and yawned, and then settled.


There had only been a few times previous to this where he had accompanied her to her parents’ resting place, but, never before had they walked up to the tombstones with hands linked between them.

They stood for a moment longer, and he watched her lovingly out of the corners of his eyes before squeezing her hand in encouragement and then letting go.

Kaoru nodded a bit, sighing heavily, before she stepped forward and fell onto the balls of her feet.

“Okaasan...”

From behind her, Kenshin watched her bow her head and pray. He smiled softly - to think that this all stemmed from one night, a candle, and a dance practice...

She rubbed her thumb around the surface of the medallion for a moment, before placing it on the ground.

“... do you think...?”

Chuckling, he stepped up beside her and respectfully placed a bundle of flowers alongside the medallion. “Kaoru... she’s always been proud of you, de gozaru yo.”

Nodding childishly, she turned her head down, watching the grass around the slightly heavy medallion - a picture of a dancing couple engraved in it’s surface - shiver in the wind. “Yes... but... well...”

“Aa. Sessha understands... and I’m sure she does, too.”

Kaoru blinked, looking up at him, before she smiled back at him and stood up.

“Mm. Well,” she cheerfully said as she dusted off her kimono and took one last glance at her mother’s grave, “shall we be going?”

They took each other’s hand and turned their backs as a stray beam of sunlight broke through the white cloud cover overhead and fell, clean and soft, on the surface of the small token at the foot of the grave.