THOUGHT I WAS STRONG ENOUGH


I thought I was strong enough.
I was wrong.

It was the right thing-leaving you.
I thought.
She needed me-more.
I thought.

Why do I feel like I've ripped the wings off an angel,
when I uttered the words ending our love?
Your amethyst eyes shattered before me,
while your loving lips whispered a soul rending lie.

I thought I was strong enough.
I was wrong.

I'll just walk away, forget our past.
I thought.
I'll come to love her, in the future.
I thought.

Now I stand on the threshold of damning my soul to a lifetime of
anguish and regret.
Soon I'll say the words that will tie me to her,
fulfilling her dearest wish, creating my greatest nightmare.

I thought I was strong enough.
I was wrong.

I will do this. I can do this.
I thought.
I haven't the strength to follow my heart.
I thought.

I look into her worshiping eyes, and see your sorrow filled ones,
and pray for the strength to do what I really want.
Memories-precious and sweet-fill me with your strength,
since mine won't suffice.

I thought I was strong enough.
I was wrong.

I needed to leave you,
to make me see that alone.
I wasn't strong enough.
I needed you.

Mll
7/09/01

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