I have learned to live with
answering machines as a necessary part
of modernization.
But I have often wondered-
what if God decided to install an
automated answering machine?
Imagine praying and hearing this:
"Thank you for calling 'My Father's House'.
Please select one of the following four options:
Press 1 for a request.
Press 2 for a thanksgiving.
Press 3 to complain.
For all other inquiries, press 4."
You press 1 and hear: " We're sorry.
Due to heavier than expected volume,
please try your call again later.
Your business is important to us."
What if God used the familiar excuse:
"All of the angels are helping other
customers right now.
Please stay on the line.
Your call will be answered
in the order it was received."
Can you imagine these kinds of responses
as you "call on God" in prayer?
If you'd like to speak with Gabriel, press 1
For Michael, press 2
For any other angel press 3.
To receive the latest promotional gift
with your order from Paradise Parlor,
press 0 and an operator will assist you.
To find out how many angels
dance on the head of a pin, press 5.
If you'd like King David to sing a psalm, press 6.
To find out if your relative is here,
enter his/her date of death and listen
for the list that follows.
For reservation information
or to confirm your reservation
at "My father's House",
press the letters J-O-H-N,
followed by the numbers 3-1-6.
To know what your pastor is doing
at the moment, press 7.
For answers to nagging questions
about dinosaurs, the age of the earth,
and where Noah's Ark is,
wait till you get here.
"If you want to know what I think
of American politics,
don't press anything.
Hang up and listen for laughter.
Our computers show that
you have called once today already.
Please hang up immediately.
"This office is closed for the weekend.
Please call on Monday."
Thank God you can't call him too often.
You only need to ring once
and God hears you.
Because of Jesus,
you never get a busy signal.
God takes each call personally.
He knows each caller personally.
Best of all, God often calls us.
Are you waiting for his call
or will your answering machine talk to him?
If you listen carefully,
you will hear music in the background
and God singing,
I just called to say I love you!
I just called to say how much I care...."
Pastor of the Grace Lutheran Church
Destin, Fl.
~~PLEASE be an ANGEL and SIGN my Guestbook~~
~If you have not already signed it.~
~Angel Hugs~
5-27-99/jr Midi: I Just Called to Say I love You
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