Anka's Girl + Guy = ??? talk, relationships, dates, etc

Let's Talk About Love: not the way Celine Dion would talk about it, of course, but, some advice you might not want to follow or even know about, but may find interesting, on certain things (heterosexual, of course. I'd just love to talk about homosexual, but, I don't think I'd be very interesting): How to:

For girls:	For guys:
Get a date:
It may seem hopeless at first, or second, or whatever that point is when your friends are all hooked up and your still waiting for Prince Charming to materialize. If you're already at the eleventh hour, believe it or not, you shan't panic, in fact, you can bask in the knowledge of the following options: Just ask out that cute available guy! Guys, unless they're being asked out by Brunhilda or her counterparts, tend not to refuse even the average girl that asks him out to the "whatever" (dance, prom, club, etc) Go solo! All it means is that if Mr. Right happens to be there, alone...	Since it seems guys usually have the burden of having to ask the gal out, here's some tips from one gal: Just do it! Nothing's worse than never knowing if she would have accepted you or not. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Don't expect to fail though, because it shows, and nothing turns off a girl more than a guy who seemingly almost doesn't want that date. Be yourself. In a way, you're "selling" yourself to that lucky girl, so, why not show her what the true you is all about?
Keeping that date:
If you think the guy shows potential, as in, you'd want to have many more good times with him, have the following questions answered: Does he really love you, and do you have any unbiased evidence to bolster that answer? Does he have a "consistent" character? As in, does he act almost the same after sex, and after you say "I'd rather not"? Can you keep thinking about him even when the next cute guy comes along in your life? Can you accept him for who and what he is, and not try to radically change him? Is he the kind of guy you can be proud of in every way imaginable? Is he the kind of guy you'd probably never get bored of? Think of his most appealing attribute, and take it right away from him. Still want to be with him? Does he make an obvious effort to equally divide his time between his family/friends/you?	If you can concievably go out with that girl again, and again, and maybe even more than that, consider the following questions: Does she really love you, and do you have any unbiased evidence to prove that to yourself? Does she have a "consistent" character? As in, does she behave somewhat similarly when she gets what she wants from you and when she doesn't? Can you stay away from other women just to keep her by your side? Can you accept her "as is"? Can you feel proud of her in every possible way? Is she the kind of girl you feel you will never get bored of? Take away her good looks. Would she still be "your girl"? Does she make an honest effort to spend time with each of the following: her family, her friends, and you?

In a perfect situation (in my opinion), the answer to each question should be a resounding "yes". Perfection is hardly attained, however, so, for those that aren't yesses, you should look long and hard at the item(s), and think of how much that/those questions mean to you. My reason for each respective question's importance:

Love is a beautiful thing, and should be the basis of a relationship between two people who love each other, or at least say so.
Consistency is important because, the partner should be someone who can be "counted on", and that goes for the person's attitude, especially.
A relationship should have fidelity, at least for any relationship thought of in long terms.
Loving someone means accepting them as they are, not trying to turn them into someone else
Feeling pride in one's partner strengthens relationships quite a bit, and lack of can easily lead to ends.
"Shallow" partners are easily tired of, and should be avoided at all costs! It can be frustrating to have to be the "life of the (2 person) party" all the time.
There should be at least 3 things to like about the significant other.
This is the tester: I know a lot of people really change their lives when they start a relationship, almost to the point that they spend most free time with their lover. Sounds good for the lover, but this is a reflection of a lack of responsibility/priorities. If the person ignores his/her family and friends for you, should you expect that person to do similarly with his/her own future family, friends, work/school, etc?

Added on Dec. 26, 1998: Are online relationships worth a good look? Just a discussion here about finding love online. It may seem a bit spooky at first, but I'll say here that going online to find that special someone is, at the very least, worth thinking about, and at the most, a great way to find the one you think is perfect for you. Here are my reasons:

It's relatively easy to find someone with like interests, or the person interested in the things you'd want him/her to be interested in.
Both you and that person would be using computers (wow, instantly having something in common!).
Distance/proximity is rendered insignificant. If that Mr/Ms Right is on the other side of the planet, it doesn't matter much until something REALLY happens.
The shy ones are almost always more vocal online, and the talkative ones are talkative, and, at the very least, slightly subdued online.
Getting close online is a lot cheaper than in real life. Think: no expensive dinners to impress the other!
Going online and finding someone online takes a degree of intelligence, so, at the very least, you're guaranteed finding someone who's somewhat intelligent. If you're not intelligent, or looking for a dumb broad/stud, well, you probably have no business going online in the first place!
There are generally no rules to getting to know someone online, which means, you can get a true assessment of the other person's attitude. No etiquette standards needed to apply, meaning the other person is free to talk as he/she wishes.

added on January 22, 1999 Where to go/Where not to go on that first date:

Where to go:
Someplace nice, decent, pleasant, and, definitely not too expensive! Money (and other things similar) really clouds judgement ability when it comes to assessing the "worthiness" of that seemingly special someone. The other descriptions, you can pretty much figure them all out themselves. Be on your best behavior, of course, yet don't overwhelmingly try to be someone or something you're really not. You are special, so why hide it by pretending to be some other person?

Where not to go:
Bars, nightclubs (most of them, anyways. Maybe ladies night would be an exception *wink* *wink*), movies (in the dark with a new person? *ugh*), expensive restaurants (Gave my explanation of this in the other column already, and besides, someone, or both would lose money so fast!), anyplace that seems to cater to only one of the person's likings/interests, and any place that has any potential for crime (now THAT would make a date unforgettable, in the worst way!).

Thanks for visiting my "lovetalk" page, I hope to add to it as often as I can.

Need help? Advice? A listening ear? You can now e-mail me at yoesanka@yahoo.com

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