title: play with me
categories:  attempt at humour, mild angst i suppose, erika/piano
romance, erika/piano
rating: nc-17 (j/k, it's g, what kind of person do you think i am?!)

ok, so maybe it's not g, maybe pg.............ok, pg-13........ok, so
r.  fine!   nc-17!

    from erika's first piano lesson, she knew there was something
special about her piano.  it wasn't just any piano; it was smooth and
shiny and very attractive.  at her first recital, she was so nervous
that when she finally finished her piece she kissed the piano in joy,
right on the top, next to the bowl of jellybeans her boyfriend had given
her.  thinking back to that moment, she guessed that's when her romance
began.
    now she was playing at her last recital.  her piano teacher just
retired and she couldn't play without him.  besides the fact that she
couldn't play very well, she thought she'd just break down crying when
she thought about mr. potatohead.  mr. potatohead was the nicest teacher
in the world, she remembered.  she liked him a lot.  but she didn't love
him, not like she loved her piano.
    she could feel it getting as excited as she was, as she played her
favorite song and her husband gary sung next to her.  she was playing it
in the key easiest for gary to sing, which wasn't the one on the Savage
Garden CD.  this one started out with the "g" chord, and it was
definitely effecting the piano.  "truly madly deeply" was a beautiful
song, and it went along perfectly with her feelings for the piano.
    "i'll be your dream i'll be your wish i'll be your fantasy, i'll be
your hope i'll be your love be everything that you need, i'll love you
more with every breath truly madly deeply...." gary sang.  yes, this was
how she felt about the piano, secretly, of course.  if gary found
out....
    gary had commented on how practically the whole song was a
monotone.  "it just goes g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, f, g, f,
a....."   little did he know that erika had seen this long before he
had.  because when she played those notes it drove the piano wild.  it's
strings started pounding with excitement at the thought that she was
touching him like that, soflty, delicately (after all, this was a slow
song), and she was touching him THERE.  g, g, g,.... erika played along
with gary's melody.  and her thoughts drifted into memories of the night
before.......
 ********** 12 hours earlier***********
    gary was out shopping.  erika was at home, alone, with the piano.
it was a rare opportunity to express her feelings, and she had decided
she would do so tonight.  she walked over to her piano and sat down on
the bench.  she ran her finger along the edge of the keyboard, slowly,
and gently.   she didn't think seducing her piano would be as easy as it
was.  but it knew that they were alone.  when her finger reached the "f"
key it moaned.   she was sooo close, so close to reaching that spot she
longed to reach..... she pressed down firmly but not too harshly and a
beautiful tone came out of the piano.  she bent down so her mouth was
just inches away from "g" and her tongue slipped out from between her
lips.  it hovered over the key for a moment before landing on and
pressing down on the cold white key.  of course, it wouldn't stay cold
for long.  she was making this piano hot.  and now she knew it.
    erika's lips followed behind her tongue and slid over the keyboard's
keys.  she slid off the bench and onto the floor as her mouth left the
piano.  it missed her touch until her hand landed on the right pedal.
she rubbed it, squeezed it, pressed it down.  her other hand returned to
the "g" key where her tongue had been before and she let a note ring for
over 30 seconds before it faded away.  she wanted to slow this down to
the point of almost torturing the piano, but she had to finish before
gary came home.
    she sat cross-legged on the floor under her piano, in front of the
pedals and closed her eyes.  a wave of passion came over her as she
kissed the piano,  quickly, softly, and all over.  she swore she could
feel its strings pulsing under her mouth.  she became impatient, wanting
something more from it.  she jumped on top of it and kneeled on the flat
closed surface of the baby-grand piano.  she spread her arms out and
hugged it tightly, just wanting to be all over it.   this was the
problem with a piano.  it can't hug back and it can't kiss back. it
can't really do ANYTHING.  she sighed in frustration and got off the
piano.  then she heard the garage door open.  gary was home.
    oh well, i guess we just need some time to figure out this
relationship, she thought.  meanwhile, gary was walking through the door
and saw that her hair and lipstick was messed up.
    "hey honey, what's up?"  he smiled at her.  she just smiled back and
made a motion with her hand as if to say, "nothing, forget it"... and
she didn't think about it until the piano recital.
********about 12 hours after the recital************
    gary was alone with the piano.  erika was out shopping.  she
wondered if he would find out what had happened with her and the piano.
when she came home, she gasped in surprise as she saw the piano.  and
gary, on top of it, hugging and kissing and licking it.
    "gary, what the hell....???" she screamed.
    "oh, god, erika, no, um..." he stammered.
    "gary, it's ok.  i didn't think you'd find out... but..."  she
drifted off as gary got down from his position on the piano.  "i have to
tell you something.  that piano, and i, have... umm..."
    gary's eyes widened.  "erika, you never told me...... erika, this
piano is female.  i thought you knew that."
    "what?! it's male, look at it, can't you tell a male piano from a
female?"
    "you mean ... i was.... erika, no, listen, how do you tell a male
piano from a female piano?"
    "let's ask dr. jolene!  she knows everything!"  so they called
1-800-jolene-1 and asked her.
    "what?" gary yelled.  "no, i don't THINK it's wearing a black
beret.... yeah, so it does have a stain on it..... umm....." he paused.
"erika, see if the piano has cigar ashes on it."
    erika looked, and saw a beret and some ashes there, and sighed.
they both knew what had happened.  somehow, their piano was posessed
with the spirit of monica lewinsky.  now they both screamed in disgust.
    "eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

***the end******