Major Charactres: Nomad Crew, Kalel, Kris Kattah, Tetsu
Minor Charactres: Gort, Thulu, Guards
(The Nomad crew is in their longboat)
Sinbad: Hold on! We’ll ride it in! Lean right!
(They get to shore)
Sinbad: Everybody out!
(They all get out)
(Firouz is bothering Doubar with an invention of his)
Doubar: Firouz, will you keep that thing away from me?!
Sinbad: Firouz, stop teasing Doubar with that toy.
Firouz: Ah, point of fact, it is a toy in this incarnation, but I could think of many uses for the whirligig.
Doubar: You would.
Firouz: The whirligig itself (can’t make out what he says here), and (can’t make out what he says here) the power of the wind to propel a boat, or some other kind of vehicle.
Doubar: Here we go.
Firouz: And then classical part, it could adjust to the height—
Doubar: Firouz, why don’t you give your whirli-mecallit to somebody else?
(Firouz hands his whirligig to Rongar)
Firouz: To be a genius is to be misunderstood.
Maeve: I think you hurt Firouz’s feelings.
Doubar: Well, his last invention nearly cost me my beard! Solar-powered hair trimmer. Nearly turned my head into a torch!
Maeve: How far do we travel?
Sinbad: We should make Baronia by midday.
Doubar: I still don’t know why we’re in such a hurry. Kalel might be the governor of the island, but he’s still untrustworthy as far as I’m concerned.
Sinbad: Oh, he’s all right. Besides, he told us he’d pay us a King’s ransom if we did him one small favour. The fate of this island depends on it.
Doubar: It doesn’t make sense.
Sinbad: Just imagine all the voyages we can finance with a fortune, Doubar. It wouldn’t take us any time at all to find Dim-Dim and bring him home.
Doubar: It still sounds fishy to me.
Sinbad: Nonsense. Baronia is quite a friendly place, as far as I can recall.
(They walk a few moments in silence)
Doubar: Quite the reception friendly Baronia has concocted for us.
(They hear some yells and cheers)
Sinbad: Sounds like they’re throwing a party in our honour.
(They walk some more, then find a group of people gathered)
Sinbad: Looks like a sporting event.
(They walk to the crowd)
Kalel: Sinbad! Sinbad, what kept ya’?
Sinbad: Kalel, it’s good to see you!
Kalel: It’s good to see you too. Now, there’s no time to talk. You’re up next.
Sinbad: Huh?
Kalel: In the arena. You’re Baronia’s champion.
Doubar: I shoulda known.
Kalel: I said a King’s ransom for one small deed, well, this is the deed.
Doubar: Yeah, and how much are you gonna make?
Kalel: Nice to see you too, Doubar.
(The gong is sounded)
Kalel: The Master’s here.
Doubar: Nice graveyard’s got to sit down.
Kalel: No. That’s Kris Kattah. Tetsu is the Master.
Doubar: The little guy?
Sinbad: What am I supposed to do in this arena?
Kalel: You know, a little of this, a little of that. Basically, just win.
Sinbad: I used to be a pretty good wrestler. What’s the harm?
Doubar: I don’t know, but I’m sure we’re going to find out.
Sinbad: Oh, Doubar.
Kalel: Trust me.
Sinbad: Well, I think I could manage one little match.
Kalel: And one huge fortune. Now get in there, Sailor, and show them what you’re made out of! (pushes Sinbad out into the arena)
Sinbad: Hello, everybody! How’s everyone doing? I’ll be representing Baronia today in this match. I seem to be missing my opponent, though.
(Gort comes running and screaming into the arena)
(Sinbad and Gort fight, while the spectators chant "Gort")
Sinbad: We seem to be playing by a different set of rules. Very different set of rules.
(They fight)
Sinbad: (hears shoutings of "Gort") You must be Gort.
(Gort swings at him)
Sinbad: You know, you’re pretty good with that club.
Doubar: This isn’t fair. (goes toward the arena, but is blocked by the spear of a guard)
Kalel: Don’t interfere, Doubar.
Doubar: Why not?
Kalel: Because I’ll have to have you killed.
Firouz: And why, exactly, would you have to do that?
Kalel: Because if I don’t kill Doubar, Kattah will kill me exactly.
Firouz: I’m not getting any of this.
Doubar: I’m tired of your double talk. (punches guard and grabs the spear) Sinbad! (throws spear)
(Sinbad catches the spear and they battle some more)
Kalel: I guess there was no harm done.
(More fighting goes on)
Sinbad: Come on, Gort, let’s put an end to it.
(More fighting goes on)
(Sinbad is on the ground; Gort goes running at him; he uses is feet to push him into the well; Gort falls down the well and dies; the crowd cheers)
Kalel: Congratulations! You just made us a fortune!
Sinbad: Kalel!
Maeve: How long have you known this?
Kalel: Politician, and any friend of Sinbad’s.
(Dermott chirps)
Kalel: Is that your pet, or are you carrying your lunch?
(Dermott flies off)
Sinbad: Kalel!
Kalel: What? Why the long face? Now, come on. Admit it. Aren’t you glad you accepted my invitation?
Doubar: Brother.
Sinbad: Would you mind telling me exactly what’s going on here?
Kalel: Not now. Are you rested?
Sinbad: Sure. After causing a man to plummet to his death in a well, I feel really refreshed.
Kalel: Good, because you’re up next.
Sinbad: What?!?!?!?!?!?!
Kalel: It’s not my fault. Now, you were supposed to be here early. Now, you usually don’t have two performances in a row—
Sinbad: Performances?!
Kalel: I’m counting on you. All the people of my island are counting on you.
(A table of weapons is carried out)
Doubar: These guys look real battle-happy.
(Opening Credits)
Sinbad: I get the sense this isn’t just a little betting match.
Kalel: Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, if you wanna put it that way. But betting is involved, and like I said, we did make—
Doubar: My fist, your face, or you talk.
Kalel: Baronia’s under attack. You’re here to defend us.
Sinbad: Who’s attacking you? Where’s the army?
Kalel: You’ve been out to sea too long. This is a new kind of warfare.
Kattah: Ladies and gentlemen! People of Baronia and all the outer isles! We have reached the semi-imperiam stage of our contest! Representing the land of Regnog, the mighty Thulu!
(Thulu appears, and Sinbad does a double-take; the crowd cheers for Thulu)
Kattah: Renowned warrior and victor of many battles! Champion of the Island of Baronia, the newcomer, Sinbad, a sailor!
(No one cheers for Sinbad)
Maeve: Not much of a reception.
Sinbad: Give me one good reason not to ring your neck!
Kalel: Like you don’t have time? Now give me the sword. (hands sword to Sinbad) You will need this. Good luck! We’re all rooting for ya’!
(Sinbad and Thulu battle for awhile)
Doubar: If that mountain hurts him, I’ll scramble your skull!
(More fighting goes on)
Firouz: How long does this match go on?
Kalel: Until it’s over.
Firouz: How do they judge the victor? Points for style, accuracy, costume, what?
Kalel: The victor is the one remaining alive at the end of the match.
Maeve: A fight to the death? That’s barbaric!
Kalel: Well, actually, it’s quite a sophisticated practice, as far as I can tell.
Doubar: Murder is murder.
Kalel: Well, if you want to look at it that way…
Sinbad: Come on, my friend. Why don’t we just call it a truce, and share a drink together?
(More fighting goes on)
(Sinbad finally gets Thulu knocked unconscious on the sand; he walks over to Kattah)
Sinbad: I have vested my opponent, my lord.
Kattah: The game isn’t over, Sailor.
Sinbad: I don’t understand.
Kattah: Your opponent is still alive.
Sinbad: True. But he’ll have one heck of a headache when he wakes up.
Kattah: He must be killed in order for you to be declared the victor.
Sinbad: Are you serious?! I will kill no man for sport!
Kattah: This isn’t sport, Sailor. This is war.
Sinbad: Not from where I stand.
Kattah: Perhaps, if you raise your weapon.
(Thulu charges Sinbad with a table)
Sinbad: This is insanity.
(Tetsu takes his sword and kills him)
Sinbad: (walks back to the others) Can we go talk somewhere? Away from your guards?
Guard: The man was not killed by the sailor. The match is not valid!
Kattah: I’ve ruled in the sailor’s favour that the match is over!
Guard: We demand another round!
Kattah: (puts hand on sword; the eyes on sword glow) Would you dare to challenge me?!
(Maeve sees the evil in the sword)
Guard: Forgive us, mighty Kattah. We didn’t mean to.
Kattah: Collect your carcass and leave!
Kalel: Can we discuss this in my tent, away from the festivities?
(They leave with Kalel)
(They are in Kalel’s tent)
Sinbad: I didn’t come all this way to act as your butcher, Kalel! I thought we were friends!
Kalel: You’re not. We are. It’s a very complicated story.
Doubar: (points sword at Kalel) Why don’t you start telling it, while you can still move your jaw?
Kalel: Okay. Kattah is a mad man. He has his army, and a navy that’s unbeatable. Enormous. I mean, he’s conquered half the island nations around here. Well, I suppose after awhile he got bored with slaughtering people, so he came up with these war games. You know, every five years, he travels from land to land, putting his best man against the best man form all the kingdoms.
Maeve: What if you win?
Kalel: Nobody’s ever beat Tetsu. They call him the Master for a reason.
Sinbad: So you sent for me.
Kalel: I had a short list. And I’ve always thought of you as a real champion.
Sinbad: Thanks.
Doubar: Why don’t you just all unite and give Kattah the boot?
Kalel: They’re afraid of his sword. Whoever possesses it cannot be defeated. It belonged to Atila the Hun.
Firouz: Nonsense.
Maeve: No. No. The sword has evil in it. I saw it. It’s the sword of Hades.
Sinbad: Kalel? Tell my why I shouldn’t just sail off and leave you here on your own.
Kalel: Kattah’s troops are along the cliffsides, and all along the shore. Demand firing catapults. So any ship that tries to leave during the contest…toast.
Firouz: You’re broiled bread.
Kalel: Oh, in a matter of speaking, yes.
Sinbad: So now what?
Kalel: Well, on the plus side, um, you made it to the finals.
Sinbad: And on the down side?
Kalel: Tomorrow, you fight the Master.
Man: (enters the tent) The Master requests your presence at dinner tonight.
Sinbad: Fine. Why, certainly. Perhaps this Master will discuss all of this in a more rational manner.
Man: What would you like for your last meal?
(The crew, minus Sinbad, is sitting around a fire; it is night)
Firouz: The fire’s going out. (goes to stoke the fire)
(Maeve uses her magic to build the fire up)
Firouz: Maeve!
Doubar: Even if Sinbad should win, who knows if this Kattah will abide by his own rules? He’s a killer! And Kalel?
Firouz: The word weasel keeps running through my mind.
(Dermott squawks)
Firouz: What are you thinking, Maeve?
Doubar: Aside from everything?
Maeve: Hhm? Oh. Kattah’s sword. If it really does have some special powers, and I can figure out what those powers were, maybe I can neutralize it somehow.
Doubar: No offense, Maeve, but tossing fireballs is one thing. Taking out the spirit of Atila the Hun?
Maeve: Yeah. I suppose you’re right. (gets up)
Doubar: Where do you think you’re going?
Maeve: I just want to stretch my legs a little. (leaves)
(Dermott chirps)
Doubar: What? Now pipe down! I’m trying to eat.
(Dermott chirps)
Doubar: She’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. She’s only going for a walk, right? Right?
(Dermott chirps)
Doubar: She’ll be fine. She’s not going to get into any trouble.
Firouz: Undoubtedly.
Doubar: The heck with it. You watch her bird. (gets up) I’m going to stretch my legs. (leaves)
(Rongar gets up and stands beside Firouz)
Firouz: (sighs) Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. I’ll entertain the bird.
(Rongar leaves)
(Firouz makes a bird squawking noise then Dermott chirps)
Firouz: So, you wanna talk about the principles of flight?
(Dermott squawks and flies away)