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Israel/Palestine
Vatican City
Armegeddon Postponed
South America
During a lunar eclipse meditation tour hosted by Gregg Braden
several native tribes with little or no outside contact emerged from
the jungle fleeing loggers, surprising the mediation tour group.
The frightened tribesmen took Mr. Braden hostage for over six hours during which time
they introduced him to the hitherto unknown 'burning of the hair'
ceremony still practiced apparently by Incan descendents.
UFO fleets buzzing battle engagement areas in the Gaza strip for
two months have mysteriously disappeared.
This reported in the official Israeli newspaper; Three tank commanders
confirmed today the UFO fleet has left Israeli airspace with no
contact being made between field troops and UFO passengers.
"Ignoring them has been successful in former military campaigns. This
time just took a little longer." CDR Weinstein.
In a surprising reversal of church policy, the Pope, although deceased for two years,
signed off on a decree taking a one hunderd and eighty turn on the topic
of 'suicide'.
A spokescardinal for the dead pontiff explained, "It's time to face facts; the
quality of life for so many third world devout catholics is so bad, death would be a relief
from unending suffering. Although we encourage suffering, it's far more profitable
among wealthy parishoners."
As part of the churches new position, counseling will be made available
to prospective death care beneficiaries.
Due to scheduling conflicts, the end of the world has been indefinitly postponed.
A spokesangel indicated that God had a very heavy calendar for the opening of the new millenium
and no timetables have been set for earths destruction.
A source close to The Lord reiterated Gods general displeasure with humanity
and that if the fall televison season is as disappointing as last years, a plan
would be in the works by Christmas.
Mistaken Identity
Except, of course,
for you.
Better Than Duct Tape
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Inverness Ball Photos