For
you are love
I'm
coming home
Someone
else's river
Her
eyes
Eye
of the storm
She
opens the book
Tangled
in these sheets
Her lot in
life
Tenderly
you call my name
He
moves through me
Just
after midnight
Lightning
Eighteen
Today
I
and I Alone
Keeping
my eyes closed
listening to your rhythmic breathing
I take comfort in each breath
as you sleep you move closer to me
your arm brushes mine
sending tingling sensations that
stir my heart into a wild
abandoned dance
I
do not need to look into your eyes
to feel your love
though I would gladly
drown in your eyes
I do not need to feel your arms
to know your strength
yet I would walk forever
to feel your embrace
So....
this is love
soft, gentle like a whisper
So.... this is love
when my emotions thrash and crash
like the waves amid stormy waters
So....
you are love
yes I knew this long ago
when you spoke my name
I knew I could never be
the same
nor want to be
If
you were to vanish tomorrow
how could I regret all that
we have shared
though my heart knows it will
travel with yours for all time
for you are love....
The
miles that I have traveled
to finally reach my home
have sometimes left me battered
lost within their cold dark storm
but finally I know I'm coming home
the light of your love guides me further on
I
used to take for granted the sun would always shine
and every dream I dared to dream
I knew one day would be mine
but I'm not that foolish girl I used to be
the girl in the mirror wasn't me
my
home now has a name....one I whisper into the night
and my heart now has a home
it no longer needs to hide
It took one look into your warm eyes
to know I would be alright
now I only want to bask within their wondrous...bright light
I'm
coming home
guided by your light
I'm finally coming home
just a few more miles
Times like this when I don't know you
times like this when your anger takes you over
there is no getting through to you
no getting near you
times like this I could float into someone else's river
when
I have to ask myself is it worth it
is this how it'll always be
is this all there is
I begin believing it's only my heart I am deceiving
when the years become hours
I wonder what I missed
when
you can't talk to me
when there's no communication
only isolation
the silence lasts forever
when you stay away too long
and you keep me wondering
times like this I could float into
someone else's river
yesterday
was flowers and sweet perfume
and the gift of giving one's heart
I never knew how time could change you so
are you so uncaring
have you just forgot
when
I said I loved you I meant it for always
just as you said you would love me forever
but times...they change
and so do the keepers of the heart
times like these I could just float
into someone else's river
when
all happy memories
will be tinged with a sadness
all the memories of times
you drove love to madness
times like this I could float into someone else's river
I find myself looking into her eyes
and falling in...into the pain
and all these stories of her life
and I wonder if she'll ever
find herself again
I
think of my own pain
and how crippling it can be
her pain is so much greater than mine
threatening to pull apart her seams
I
look into her eyes and see this child.....
....lost and frightened
all the things those eyes have seen
but this is the hardest
not all battles are won
When
I feel her slipping away
I wonder how much longer can I hold on
waiting forever for peace
for a light at the end of this tunnel
waiting for answers where there are none
what if it's all for nothing
This
pain
this white hot pain exploding inside and my head is so heavy
sometimes I wonder how I can hold it up
I
feel betrayed
betrayed by life, by this God that gives and takes
How can this broken soul save her
or myself
sometimes
in the early morning hours
I lay awake and imagine I'm in another place
years ago
a place where I didn't question life
I just lived it
and there she is whole and smiling
and there he is whole and smiling
but
today is today and her eyes are so sad
I see this sadness in those I know
what haunts them
Is it the same ghosts that haunt me
just
for one moment to see the sun
that once shined through her eyes
just one glimmer of hope
but I fear it is gone
Thrown into the eye of the storm
no control
fighting
falling
drowning
I've never felt so lost
hopeless
sorrow
no tomorrow
hit again and again
covered with this blanket
of sadness
covering me
suffocating me
swallowing me
no release
no peace
no heat of your hand touching mine
your eyes shining
your laughter ringing
nothing
the aftermath
the ruins
so lost
so lost
I miss your strength
your love
your laughter
your child
your weakness'
I miss you
all the tomorrows so empty
so much to learn
so many wounds to heal
so much given
so much taken
I will miss you forever
and then I will miss you more
I'll miss you till the day
I find another door
then I will be with you again......
She opens the book
a few pages are turned
already her face is wet
here is her heart
her soul
her pain
here
is where she said goodbye
as her heart and mind raced
with rage and sorrow
as she held him one last time
she
has fought with her religion
her faith and beliefs
she has fought with a ghost
she has fought with herself
she has fought
here
in this book are her questions
her tears when they have been unanswered
and here in these pages is a soul mate
someone who has grieved with such agony
such loss
and as she turns each page she is lost inside
the dying light is only made bearable
with memories of love
you
are sharing a cup of coffee over the paper
you are sharing a laugh that is private
you are kissing good night with the comfort
that you will kiss good morning
now
she misses him with every ounce of
blood that pumps to and fro her damaged heart
she is the woman in these pages
she has screamed and howled the pain
written within this book
and she is waiting to feel again
without the hurt
without the torment
without him
It troubles me that you can't see
the fire in my eyes
the distance from there to here
sometimes leaves me paralyzed
and
those long dark nights aren't helping
baby, what am I to do
tangled in these sheets of dreams
when all I want is to be tangled up in you
this
price we pay to fulfill our dreams
the empty nights... the tears and pain
at times nothing's as it seems
and my dreams will only live
when I feel your arms again
so
I cling to all the tomorrows
and the words you whisper for me alone
and sweet memories of yesterday
and wait for the day you come home
but
for now...
those long dark nights aren't helping
baby, what am I to do
tangled in these sheets of dreams
when all I want is to be tangled up in you
She looks in the mirror and sees a
stranger
and wonders how she let so much time pass her by
then she closes her eyes and slips in to the darkness
that old and comfortable friend
She dreams of the days when she knew her own mind
she feels the arms of a lover holding her close in dance
the feel of his hands on the small of her back
holding her close and tight and whispering words
that make her a princess.... if just for the moment
She doesn't feel the tears that escape her eyes
tracks running down her face
she doesn't see the sadness etched inside
she's lost in that other place
She remembers the sadness in his eyes
and how she put it there
a few careless words tossed his way
and her world fell to pieces
her world fell apart
As she opens her eyes it all becomes clear
there are reasons for everything
and punishments to bear
here is her lot in life
her ball and chain
as she opens the bottle
she releases the pain
Tenderly you call my name
unfolding all the smiles my
heart once forgot
Counting each hour till we
are together again
then the world is finally right
your
hands are like magic
reaching inside of me
pulling all the poison out
and filling me with sunlight
whispering words that calm me
and move me
never have I felt so right
distant
worlds
yet so right together
feeling my heart soar
across oceans and skies
waiting for that moment
when you are all I know
yearning
to look in to your eyes
to see all the warmth I know
they hold
and wishing so much
for you to look in to mine
so many things they will
tell you
so many stories yet to be told
so
I will hold you close within
and wait for that magical day
when dreams at last can be told
and tomorrows can be built
and arms can be filled
and smiles can be seen
He moves through me like a warm calm
wind
touching so many places I had let turn cold
my heart rejoices in this gentle touch
as the sweet tears flowed freely
at last releasing me
words
were not needed as
he spoke from his heart
touching my soul, letting my spirit fly
what beauty he holds
what beauty he gives
I can not deny this man his every wish
he
sees me at my darkest and holds me close
letting me talk till the ghosts fade away
just having him there eases the dark and the pain
I want to share my soul with him always
without his healing light I would be lost
I
can not remember how it felt to not know him
perhaps I choose not to know life before him
listening to his sweet voice..... is it any wonder why
letting each word he whispers etch their beauty within
until he is as much a part of me as myself
It's just after midnight
cloaked in darkness and silence
too much time to think
too much time to rake the coals over regret
where is my share of life's treasures
the ticking of the clock
my only reminder I am here
where
is the rainbow that guards my gold
promises on auction
to the highest bidder they're sold
what can I offer to strengthen my bid
a few baubles and trinkets
doesn't seem enough
what's my gift
a
quarter to one
still I lie here awake
searching through my life
where's my slice of cake
have I already had it
just too blind to know
I want to know
the
life I have lead not exemplar
it seems
putting too much stock in someone else's dreams
held traces of brass that I mistook for gold
and a few times I thought that my soul must be sold
yet I held on
maybe I should of let go
now
four in the morning
sleep not in sight
not a knight in shining armor to brighten my night
I toss and I turn to the rhythm of failure
cloaked in darkness and silence
except the ticking of the clock
reminding me
I'm still here
A bolt of lightning strikes
in one instance all is changed
looking at what is gone and
surveying the damage
there are answers
here in the aftermath
beauty still remains
laughter still rings
hearts still sing
what is gone is only a leaf
the tree still stands
strong
fervent
proud
thriving
living
She is an echo
felt long after she leaves
she is an ocean
as far as the eye can see
flowing and free
she is a bird in flight
soaring high above
soulful and yearning
knowing where her path will lead
she is an angel
healing and sweet
she is a child
now a woman
as warm and full
as the rising sun
she is eighteen today
standing at her dreams
doorway
Written
for my Niece
Why is it we are in such a hurry to
blame
to point a finger and give our fear a name
as if this gives us a license to hurt
the right to tear another apart
why is it we can't just look inside
the answers to our questions surely lie within
yet it seems easier to lay the guilt on someone else
what drives us to judge
what makes us weak
can
you look in to my eyes and see my pain
or does that pain reflect too much your own
what name can you give this judgement to make it right
there are no answers when you refuse to seek them
there are no answers when you run and hide
and I am only one, and I am all alone
you never bothered to know me
I could say it is your loss
but you will never know
for you will never look
when
I walk among the crowded streets no one else is there
and when I look in to a strangers eyes they look away
hiding safe inside taking care of number one
well is it safe and is it right to just not care
to allow yourself to be blind to what is there
if I say hello you do not look
not wanting to make contact outside of your world
who do you think you are, how great you must be
but inside you is inside me
a frightened child needing approval still
afraid of the unknown
it
is in vain the struggle
and it will leave you empty when it is done
when that final day comes and you answer for your life
you will have no answers
I lead my life and no one else
I and I alone