Adventures of Barnacle Bill

My First Sail
For as long as I can remember, I have always been fascinated by boats. I used to float pieces of wood in creeks and build little floating things I called boats. As I grew older, I spent all the time I could around water. Then I bought my first boat. But I can't tell you about this boat now, as it is another story of it's own. And a good one, too.
Then, I joined the Navy!
This is another story you've got to hear.
Well, three years ago I bought a sailboat from a scientist at work. It was a Catalina 22 in bad need of some TLC. In fact, when I bought it, it was sunk and full of water. It only took a few hours to pump it out, but to clean the insides, took all of two weeks. I was never so sick of bleach and cleaning solutions. A couple quarts of paint made her look pretty good again. I made all the necessary rigging repairs and repaired the frozen 5 hp outboard motor. I was getting close.
But, I had never sailed a boat before. I was told it was easy!!!
To be on the safe side, I read a few books. Looked easy to me!!!
The 'big' day finally came. I was going to sail this thing. I had a lot of onlookers from the maintenance shop at work to see me off.
I was a bit nervous.
I started the little outboard and released the lines holding her safe to the dock. I pointed her into the Corpus Christi ship channel and proceeded to raise the mainsail. This is where the problems began. The damn thing got stuck in the track and wouldn't go up or come down. I was just tall enough to reach the problem. With the mainsail all the way to the top, I was ready to shut down the outboard and let the winds take over. I sat back and though how great it was to be sailing. I went this way and I went that way.
This is when I heard the first warning blast of a ships horn. Now, you see, I'm sailing in a ship channel and these ships are big!!! I got the hell out of the way and went about my adventure of sailing my boat. Well, I failed to mention that there is always a current in the ship channel and in order to sail, there must be wind. The current was going the way I didn't want it to go and the wind was blowing from the direction I didn't want it to blow.
The current took me into an area I had no intention of going, so I headed her into the wind which was no help at this time.
Another ship lets out it's warning blasts. Now, these blasts are really annoying when you're doing your best not to get in front of a 900 foot ship.
After a couple hours, I have gone at least a half a mile from where I started. I got her headed in the right direction, but making no headway. A fellow sailor comes shooting by me like I was standing still and says, "have a nice day".
Have a nice day???? Does this look like I'm having a nice day???
Second thoughts of sailing enters my mind.
I was tired, embarrassed and low on adventure by now. I'll just start the outboard and go back. Sell this damn thing and be done with it.
Yank!!! Yank!!! Sputt!!! Sputt!!!
Now what the hell am I going to do??? I'm now in another channel headed to another town 8 miles away. I don't want to go there.
Yank!!! Yank!!! Sputt!!! Sputt!!!
The damn thing won't start. I'll just go to the other side of the channel and tie her up somewhere. Nope!!! Shrimp boats coming. By the time they passed I was past where I was going to tie up. So I ran her aground to work on the outboard. Just to be on the safe side I would put out the anchor. Wonderful idea. Had the rope been untangled and washed from the sinking, it would have been a great idea. With the anchor out and the sail down, I proceeded to repair the motor.
Yank!!! Yank!!! Sputt!!! Sputt!!!
Looking things over, I discovered I had been very safety minded.
The gas was shut off!!! I started the little sucker and looked up for the first time in about half an hour.
Shit!!!
The anchor didn't hold and I was headed to that little town I didn't want to visit. I pulled in the anchor and headed back to the slip, which was now close to two miles away against the incomming currents. But, being the seasoned sailor I was, I put all my confidence in my boating experience and this little outboard moter.
Once again, in the ship channel, I heard that awlful blasting from yet another ship. Why did they pick today to off load their goods???
Don't they know I'm sailing out here???
After another hour of motoring, I was once again back to the safety of the dock.
Just in time for afternoon coffee!!! 
 Happy Sailing !!!

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