~"what the hell is going on?"~

Keryn sat up in the bed, her brain must've still been on the pillow, because when she leaned forward it crashed, causing massive head pain. In other words, she had a mother head ache.

Keryn pulled herself up from the bed. Her brain obviously was yet to snap into reality, because when the previous nights events hit her, she started to feel sick.

"KAyL! I feel sick!"

Kayla appeared in the doorway. "Well, so you should. You were up half the night, and you're sick for a good reason."

"What?" Keryn said through squinted eyes and she neatened down her hair.

"I don't mean it like that, you know? I mean, you let out your feelings."

"Yep," Keryn started as she walked out of the room, "and they are going to stay in this place, no one is to know."

"Keryn, don't be so stupid!"

"Kayla, I don't need this at the moment. Heart ache seems to be my thing right now. I will get over it." She hoped that she would get over it.

"You are NOT going to get over it" Kayla followed Keryn as she rushed around picking up random objects and putting them back down again.

Keryn knew that there was major truth in what Kayla was saying. But she simply had to try and get over it. She turned to Kayla. "As much as I so don't want to get over it, it is something that I have to face. I think that Justin will help me get over it."

"Don't use Justin."

"I am NOT using Justin! Don't even say that. I really like Justin, and I know that this can work."

"Are you sure? You are not like on rebound or something?"

"How can we be on rebound? We never even saw each other, me and Tay."

"You know what I mean."

"Kayla, I'll be okay, I will learn in a few days that I feel something big for Justin. I am telling you. We are going out today anyways."

Keryn flopped down on to the sofa. And when Kayla had clearly left the room and bashed her head in a pillow. "Why am I so stupid?" She moaned. "Stupid. Stupid."



"Thats it. Get up!"

"Sure."

"NOW TAYLOR!"

"I know, I am just reading a magazine" Taylor moaned.

"What?" Ike asked, confused, as he looked at his brother sound asleep on the bed.

"TURN THE PAGE!" Taylor screamed as he rolled over.

Ike started to laugh at his delirious brother. "What are you reading Taylor?"

"Sometimes I feel so alone!" Taylor cried.

Ike was in hysterics. "Wake up Taylor!"

"What? Why? Whats it got to do with you?" Taylor was starting to come back to reality.

"Please, I have to talk to you."

Taylor sat up in the bed, cocking his head sideways. "What was I just talking about?"

"Oh, never mind." Ike smiled. "Now, get up." Taylor got up, wondering why he was following his brothers commands.

"What do you want Isaac?" Taylor asked sleepily.

"Sit down." Taylor was made to sit on the lounge seat on their room. "Now, I am your brother."

"No shit" Taylor moaned.

"Shut up for a second Tay. Now, I am your brother."

"Yes." Taylor knew all of this.

"Well, I kind of want what's best for you. And, well, from what Zac says. Margo isn't."

"Hey!" Taylor snapped. Ike put his hand up to stop his brother.

"I think there is something out there that you want. And you won't achieve that by dating her. From what I heard in the car yesterday, I think I know something that you may not have realised yet. You get my drift?"

Taylor shook his head.

"I will let you think about it for a while, think Tay. If you don't understand in ten minutes, come downstairs and I will tell you."

Taylor nodded slightly as Ike left the room, closing the door.

Tay sat in his daze, sleepy eyes, wearing boxers, hair messed and thought. He thought for ten minutes, he thought for fifteen.

Still nothing.

Taylor thought of yesterday in the car. What happened yesterday in the car? Taylor asked himself. He thought more. He was talking on the phone to Keryn. Margo wasn't right for him. Something that he wanted. Taylor felt a grin emerge on his face as he jumped up to the door.

"Shit!" He squealed. That was what Keryn had to tell me! She feels the same way! She feels the same freaking way! Why haven't I realised this any earlier? I could've been there for her on the phone, but I was too clueless.

Taylor looked into all the doors until he came to what he was looking for. He raced into the living room and jumped on Ike. "I love you man!" Ike just laughed, pleased with his brothers realisation.

"What are you waiting for? Get to the phone!"

Taylor got off Ike and ran down the hall and started to dial.

"Hello?"

He listened as the phone rang, it rang for about 4 rings and Taylor was beginning to think that nobody was home, then Kayla answered, shrieking with laughter.

"Hello?" She said between fits.

"Kayla? It's Taylor, what the hell is going on over there?"

Taylor listened as Kayla started a fit again. Faintly in the background he could here Keryn yelling, yelling and laughing.

"Oh Tay, you should be here it is so hilarious. Honestly."

She collapsed in hysterics again. Taylor tapped the hallways table impatiently.

"Kayla what's going on, for real, tell me."

Kayla took a deep breath and started talking in a rambling fashion.

"Well basically Keryn woke up in a poop and was going on much like she was last night. I couldn't handle it so I called Jussy over……" Taylor's eyes narrowed, "..and now Jussy is in here cooking up a storm and insisting that Keryn eats all of it. He is making her eat pizza at the moment."

"She hates pizza." Said Taylor grimly.

"I know" laughed Kayla, "Thats what's so funny about it all"

Taylor tapped harder as Kayla collapsed in giggles again.

"Well then," he asked coldly, "put her on so I can save her from her worst nightmare."

Kayla didnt notice his dismissive voice and passed the phone to Keryn who took it gratefully.

"Taylor Hanson you are my savior."

Taylor couldn't resist as slight smile.

"Thats me alright."

"Well, it's madness and mayhem over here as you can imagine."

"Oh, yes I can imagine" Taylor replied in a strained voice. This wasn't going as he planned it. "I rang to make sure that everything was okay, you want to talk about last night?"

Keryn's high seemed to deflate immediately. She became silent. Taylor squirmed as he knew Justin was in the background.

"Well, Taylor, it was nothing really…"

"Nothing? Keryn you had me freaking out all night, tell me, I'm your best friend."

His words stung.

"Taylor I….I… was having one of those moods, I just needed someone to talk to. It was aimless rambling. Ignore everything I said."

'Ignore everything I said' Taylor's mind seemed to replay this over and over. He shuddered. She was indirectly telling him 'no' and it hurt.

"Well Keryn, as long as your okay."

"I'm fine." Came her sharp reply.

"I miss you you know." Taylor attempted one more plunge into Keryn's heart.

Keryn flinched. She shook herself as she remembered Margo.

"I'm sure you do, but hey you have Margo to distract yourself with."

"Keryn…"

"No..I'm sorry…I take that back, that was swooping too low. I miss you too Tay, never could I convince myself that I didnt. You are my soul mate."

"I know. Lets just give each other some room hey? Less pressure."

"Yeah, thats probably a good idea."

"I think so."

There was a pause as the two thought. Taylor was the first to break it.

"Seeya soulmate"

"Bye soulmate."

They hung up. Keryn turned around to see that Kayla and Jussy were oblivious to her conversation. She slipped back into a lighter mode and regarded Taylor and her conversation as productive. Anyways he had suggested less pressure. She lent over the table and picked up a piece of Justin's home made pizza. It tasted good.

Taylor turned to see Ike standing at the door. He sniffed. The brothers hugged. It seemed that Taylor not only had bad timing, but bad luck.





Kayla went out with Talia again that afternoon. Keryn and Justin finished watching I Still Know What You did Last Summer and found themselves with nothing to do. "So, what do you want to do?" She would never be in this situation with. . . Taylor

"I don't know," Justin smiled "what do yooouuu want to do?"

Keryn smiled. She knew very well what this guy wanted. She rolled her eyes. . . "Jus, babe, you aren't going to turn all maniac on me now are you?"

"Now, would I do that?" He seductively laughed, kissing her on the lips.

Keryn played along with it, he was sweet and funny, there was nothing else to do. "Can we go into your bedroom Keryn?" Justin asked.

"Juss, I don't think I am ready for this yet... you know?" Keryn was fighting off some temptation, it would take her mind of Taylor, she didn't want to go all the way, she didn't love Justin, but a little kissing wouldn't hurt.

"We're not going to do anything" he assured "I am going to simply have a relaxing arvo with my girlfriend."

Keryn thought for a moment as Justin hugged her, occasionally kissing her on the cheek. He seemed tame enough. "What the heck, come on."

Keryn jumped up off the couch and rushed into the bedroom, Justin following close behind. "Thanks babe" Justin smiled, one of his melting smiles. He seemed so irresistable at this moment.

"Anytime" Keryn smiled, cocking her head sideways and returning Justin's kisses. He pushed her back onto the bed. "Slow down mister" Keryn deliriously laughed. He kept kissing her, he was doing it quite hard. It was scaring her, but the sudden thrill of things seemed to cover up for that. Justin threw himself on top of her. "What are you doing?" She wailed.

"I love you Kezz, simple."

"Simple?" Keryn was astounded. He didn't seem to have a care in the world, well, despite the obvious. He was trying to get her shirt off. Keryn thought it wouldn't last much longer. She played along, kissing him back, and then reaching to remove his shirt. He saw what she was doing and started to unzip his jeans. He had a sick looking smile on his face. He launched himself back into the moment as he started to kiss her on the stomach, moving around.Oh shit, I have to get out of here "STOP NOW BASTARD!" Keryn screamed.

Justin laughed. "Kinky" he murmured. He kept kissing her, refusing to stop, he had now unbuttoned her whole shirt and basically pinned her down. "I told you, I love you, everyone else will do it with me."

"Go fuck someone else!" Keryn screamed. He was not going to get away with this, he had totally changed in five minutes.

Justin laughed as he started to unbutton her jeans.

"Get off me now!" She said loudly, grabbing her shirt.

"Whats the matter babe?" Justin panted, using his hands to wipe the hair from his face.

"Get the fuck off me NOW!" Keryn screamed. "Get out of my house. We are officially OVER!" Keryn said pulling herself from the bed and adjusting her clothes.

"What?" Justin was dumbfounded. "What are you on about?"

"I don't love you Justin" Keryn snapped. "We have been going out for all of a week and you think you can get --she pointed around the room--- this?!"

"It's that Taylor freak isn't it?" Justin started to snap at Keryn.

"Get out now. I don't want to see you."

"Yeah, go fuck your little mmmboppin-moe-boy, see if I care?!"

"You wouldn't give a shit Justin. I thought that you, of all people were different."

With that Justin turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door as he left the house.

Keryn felt herself collapse on the bed. In a fit of tears. She knew nothing anymore. Nothing at all. Her life was crazy. Just a big old, crazy mess. She rolled over, eyes tear stained as she stared out the window, at the ocean.



Keryn looked at the clock. It was three am. Kayla was in bed, still unknown as to what has made Keryn so distant that afternoon. Keryn deliriously wandered down the halls, mainly thinking. Wondering around the small apartment over and over again proved to be quite annoying. She sat down in the hall next to the phone. She thought of the time in Tulsa.

"4 am" she whispered to herself.

Keryn pondered for a moment. Taylor wouldn't be full on mad, just a bit tired. She made a plan. Keryn picked up the phone and dialed in Tay's cell phone number. Her bill would be a fortune this month.

"Hello?" A groggy teenage boy answered.

"Zac?" Keryn whispered loudly. "Can you get Tay to ring here now please. Please, do it for your Keryn-bud. Please Zac"

Zac was too sleepy to disagree. "Yeh, two minutes." He hung up the phone.

Keryn sat and waited patiently, with her hand on the phone button, so the noise wouldn't wake Kayla. Sure enough, two minutes and Taylor had called.

"Tay?"

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Taylor yawned. "It's four, teen idols need their sleep, 'specially when they are in the middle of recording their new album." Keryn remembered he wasn't really a really early morning person.

"Ooop. Sorry, I will hang up. Sorry Tay."

"No no. There must be some valid reason as to why you are ringing me at four in the morning. Speak."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Taylor" Keryn wailed. She was starting to cry. . . again. "Everythings stuffed."

"You have food poisoning from Drop-deads pizza?"

"Worse."

"What could be worse than my baby being poisoned?" Taylor joked.

There was silence. "Oh Tay" Keryn sighed.

"What did he do?"

"Tay, I broke up with him."

"Oh my god, why?"

"It's a long story." Keryn sighed again.

"It can't be that long."

Keryn thought for a moment. He was right, it was pretty basic. She knew she could tell Taylor anything.

So she just dived straight in.

"He tried to nail a virgin"

"He cheated on you?"

"No Taylor! I'm the stupid virgin that bastard tried to lay!

"Oh, that fuckin' bastard!"

"Tay, don't"

"Don't stick up for him. He has no right, thats almost rape. Oh my god. So your saying he tried? Or did it go further?"

"No, he was being a bastard. It didn't get all that far. . ." Keryn started to cry more "Tay, he scared me."

"Oh, oh Keryn. Don't worry about him. Shhhhh... I wish I was there to tell you it was okay and give you a big hug. Keryn, don't worry about him. Don't"

"Oh, you're so nice Tay. You know how to make me feel better." Keryn smiled comfortably, she really needed Taylor right now.

"Don't worry. I will stay on the phone for the next twenty four hours if I have to."

"Oh gosh, you're so sweet. Can we stop talking about Justin now?"

"He's forgotten."

"Thanks Taylor" Keryn smiled.

"Can I just ask you one thing? Considering some things are coming out in the open here? Don't answer if you don't want."

"Go ahead" Keryn said warily.

"Why didn't you do it?"

Keryn cringed. . . "I-I- I don't love him"

"You love someone else?"

"Sort of"

"I do too."

"Margo?" Keryn quivered.

"No." Taylor answered straight. "Who do you love?"

"Should I tell you?"

"I'm your best friend."

"Ummm. . . Thats why I don't know whether to tell you or not."

"You love. . . me?"

Keryn closed her eyes. She was swearing violently at herself in her head for letting this whopper slip.

Keryn just sat in silence. For what seemed like an eternity.

"I think I have to hang up Tay."

"If you were in the same situation, like this afternoon and you were with me. What would have happened?"

Keryn repeated her statement. "Taylor, I think I have to hang up."

"Bye Keryn. . ."

"Bye Tay, love you" She hung up.

Not hearing him whisper 'Love you' into the phone on it's way down to the cradle. Keryn sighed and shuffled down the hall to bed.

chapter twenty~eight HOME chapter thirty
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