The Advantages of Being a Man
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Your last name stays the same
The garage is all yours
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just a another snack
You can wear a white shirt to a water park
You don't care if someone notices your new hair cut
Hot wax never comes near you
Same work-more pay
Wrinkles add character
If you retain water, its in a canteen
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase
You can open your own jars
Three pairs of shoes is more than enough
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife
The same hair style lasts for years--maybe decades
Christmas shopping accomplished for 25 relatives, on Dec 24th in 45 minutes
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
You can quietly watch a game with your friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me"
If you're 34 and single nobody notices
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
Movie nudity is virtually always female
Monday Night Football
The bathroom lines are 80% shorter
Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind
When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying
A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex
You don't have to lug a bag of useless stuff around everywhere you go
You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny
You can go to the bathroom without a support group
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend
Your underwear is $10 for a three pack
The National College Cheer leading Championship
You don't have to shave below your neck
Everything on your face stays its original color
Flowers fix everything