My girlfriend is by my side From the roof are hanging sickles of ice Their whiny voices get irritating It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face Wondering how much of my time they’ll waste Oh God, I hate these Satan’s helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped Because I grabbed the baseball bat And made them all run for shelter

It’s Christmas time, again It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand, All year I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare me Please stay away from my home If you don’t get beat down Just leave the presents and let me be alone

Well, I guess it’s not cool to freak on Christmas Eve Cause the cops came and arrested me They had an unfair advantage

And even though the jail didn’t have a tree Christmas came a night early Cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my package

I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas I won’t be home, I won’t be home for Christmas