- I believe everyone on a healing path should really consider keeping a journal. It helps to keep track of things when you are most emotionally vulnerable, when things seem fuzzy, or when you have had a "clean slate" for a few months and suddenly are confronted with a back-slide.
- For example, let's say you suddenly recall some new memory fragments, and you think you remember something about a recall from two weeks ago that fits in with this- now where did you write that down?!? Oh, no- someone threw that old envelope away! Well, maybe you can wing it...
- Why risk it? It's probably best just to trust that you will need someplace secure to keep your "records", someplace to look over your successes throughout each step. Someplace private to grieve and hate and love and carry on the horrific daily task of living.
- Another thing that was incredibly helpful in breaking old patterns of behavior, and identifying where the "hot-spots" were, was my journal exercises. The purpose of the journal exercises is many-fold. It can help you to form a new belief system about yourself. It can assist in trying to recover your memory or lost fragments. It can help you to understand how you got so mixed up, so you can make adjustments that YOU like. Your journal can be anything you like- it can be a place to keep your secrets and release old fears, and rage as often as you like, and it won't ever ask you to quit crying because you "always do that in front of me!" It always understands how you feel, even if you can't explain it to yourself at the time. Your journal can be your best ally in your healing.
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Indigo's Peer Journal Exercises
While it may seem unlikely that you can truly heal without the care of a good therapist, it is possible- I'm living proof of that. I'm also here to say it ain't easy, nor is it fun. I was one of the lucky ones, and I freely admit that as well. It turned out not to be necessary, in my case, to consult professional therapists. I hope it never is. I'm certainly not recommending anyone else avoid therapy- if it suits you, go for it! Be glad you want to heal, and do whatever needs to be done to get there. I was very reluctant to use the care of a therapist for many reasons, so that avenue just didn't suit me.
I am still very much broken in many ways, but I find I am better everyday, and I wanted to share some of the things that helped me the most. One of these was my healing journal. Originally started in 1984, I ended up throwing it away and didn't bother to replace it until 1994.Then there were only sporadic ragings and rantings, nothing terribly productive, I felt. Why bother to keep doing it?
I was SOOOO wrong about that- looking back, I can see that having someplace to vent at that time kept me alive at least twice over almost two decades- when I otherwise would have done something foolish, like slit my wrists. I was inconsistent with my journalling until I became involved with my husband, who encouraged me in every way one might imagine. I began to recall things I hadn't before, after my kids were born, and I didn't know how to interpret that. He was so helpful in helping me to sort these things out. My journal became a place for me to grow and pinpoint where I was hurting, examine what caused those feelings, and express what I felt about them in many different ways.
NOTE- Some of the journal exercises will likely cause some sort of tension or distress- if you feel you can't finish them, simply put them away for another time. Go do something that makes you feel safer and more comfortable, for however long that takes. I realize we're all pretty fragile at times, so don't feel you have to push yourself if you aren't ready to. "Processing" is exactly that - a process- and it takes time and patience to process.
#5 Creating Positive Affirmations
#8 Creating and Using your own Safe Space
Way of Cooperation - Guidelines for healthy communication
I will be adding to these exercises periodically, so I hope you will want to come back often to check for new things you might like to try. One thing I am planning is exercises for couples- things that helped our communication efforts, and others that assisted me in making the transition from affectionate couple to mated pair. Some of these exercises were essential in allowing me to create my own distinct boundaries, something I had never really had before. Others were very helpful in establishing trust and intimacy- if you are part of a couple, you know how important this is, and how very hard to manage. Understanding and good communication are so very important to these issues, I can't stress enough how much difference it makes to be able to share them with another person. At times, you may wish to do that. At others, you may wish to maintain privacy. Either way is fine.
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