WARNING:  The following contains heavy political satire and
should be recognized as such.  Those who dislike political jokes
should be more careful in their voting, and refrain from reading
this material.  -- The Author --

Clinton plans a new memorial

Washington, D.C.  (SPA) -- The recent disclosure that Bill
Clinton's contributors have gained space in Arlington National
Cemetary has shocked many people.  Many Republicans
have noted that while they disagree with the idea, they note
that they would like to see them there "the sooner the better."
The investigation into the waiver granting has revealed other plans.

The most notable plan discovered was the idea to erect a
"Tomb of the Unknown Donor."  The idea was born when a
body discovered burned beyond recognition was found to
have carried a briefcase with 200 money orders all valued at
$5,000 made out to the Democratic Party.  While the
consecutive serial numbers led to the bank where they were
purchased, no identification could be made.  The president,
upon hearing th news was rumored to have wiped a tear
from his eye, put his hand over his heart and have a quiver
in his lower lip as he saluted "this Unknown Donor" who had
died in his quest to battle the Republicans.  The belief that
such service should be honored led to the idea of the Memorial 

Plans for the tomb include an outer design like a bank vault
guarded by real bank security guards, one from each of the
50 states.  They will be on 3-4 man shifts, rotating to give
each state the honor of recognizing the unknown donor.  In
front of the bank, a symbolic fountain will contain an eternal
stream, signifying the eternal stream of illegal campaign money
the Democratic National Committee has received.  A
memorial plaque honoring the sacrifice of this brave
donor/collector will be erected:  the left side of the plaque will
be in English and the right side in Chinese to honor all those
who have made significant contributions to the DNC.

The tomb is expected to be erected on the closest available
site overlooking Washington D.C.  The back of the tomb
will include an ATM to allow credit card contributions to the DNC.


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(c) 1997 by Bob James.  All rights reserved.  Permission is
granted to distribute this article to others without charge as long
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