Republicans Dismayed --

Clinton Found to be Truthful

Washington, D.C., Feb. 4, 1998 (spa) - Republicans late yesterday
were said to be in disarray.  The cause:  the presidential budget
proposal released to the Congress.  "For years, our attacks were
basedupon the presumption of prevarication by the president,"
notedone un-named, but pompous spokesman.  "It appears that the
Democrats in Congress can now throw this budget in our face
anytime we claim that Clinton couldn't tell the truth if it was the
only possible answer."

Other Republican congressmen were in tears noting that no longer
would they be able to snicker openly, or even privately, when the
president greeted the news of each major layoff by a Fortune 500
company by noting that this was the best economy in the history of
the nation, the world and the galaxy.  No longer could they guffaw
as the president explained away each scandal with an angry denial.
Now that Clinton had been caught telling the truth, they would have
to assume that whatever he said was actually true.

Democrats, meanwhile, were gleeful.  "When President Clinton
announced that the era of 'Big Government'  was over two years
ago, we thought he had sold us down the river.  We thought our
only hope was that the president was playing fast and loose with
the truth.  This budget proves that we were wrong and the President
was right!"

"The era of 'Big Governement' IS over," the Democratic spokesman
continued.  "But with this budget we welcome the era of 'Bigger
Government!'" he exulted. "The president has released a budget that
appears to be balanced while increasing governmental spending in
every area possible."  When asked why this was good considering
that the federal government now consumes over 21% of the GDP,
the spokesman looked shocked.  "How can you ask a question like
that during the best economy in the history of mankind?"

A flash poll taken after revelation of the president's truth telling
caused his popularity to dip slightly.  One disgruntled former supporter
sighed, "If he tells the truth occasionally, we won't know what to believe!"

  -30-
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