*Warning – One or more of the BsB is killed in this story…. It may or may not be your favorite one, and if it is,…. Sorry….*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **BsB are running from a swarm of teenyboppers when they see an old, abandoned, house.**
Kevin: In here!! *runs in and closes the door*
Brian: Man! Those fu**ing teenyboppers are scary!
Howie: One of them bit me!
AJ: *looking around* Uh-oh… I think we lost Nick….
Nick: *pounding on the door* Hellllllpppppp meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Brian: *opens door*
Nick: *runs in and locks door behind him*
Kevin: Nick, man, you look like shit…
Nick: Gee thanx Kevin! I did not guess that after being chased by hundreds of teenyboppers and having my hair ripped out by the roots, and having my skin clawed off that I would look like shit
… Kevin: ………
Howie: I wonder where the kitchen is….
AJ: We just ate man!
Howie: McDonalds? That’s not real food…
AJ: Don’t go there.
Brian: Come on y’all, we should try to get some sleep… *listening to the teenyboppers pounding on the door* I have a feeling we’re going to be here for a while.
Kevin: Well, they have to leave sooner or later…
Nick: *looking out the window* I’d go with later.. I think they’re building a teenybopper colony out there!!
AJ: Well, I get first dibs on beds…
Brian: As if! Race you!!! * AJ and Brian run upstairs*
Kevin: I’m going to look for a phone… Howie: Here kitchen, kitchen, kitchen.. *Howie and Kevin walk off in separate ways, leaving Nick all alone in the lobby.*
Nick: I need a first-aid kit.
** Meanwhile, upstairs…..**
AJ: *checking out a closet in one of the bedrooms* Oooooh, spacious….
Brian: *looking in the bathroom* Hey, this bathroom is pretty kewl… There’s even shampoo here!! Sweet! Herbal Essences!
AJ: I love those commercials… Brian: You would.. * turns to see blood dripping off of the mirror* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AJ: *runs in * What?? What?
Brian: *pointing to mirror* blood….. there’s blood all over the mirror…
AJ: What the fu** are you talking about?? * mirror is totally clean*
Brian: No, really, there was blood !
AJ: Dude, I think you’re off your rocker… * walks downstairs*
Brian: But….but….sigh… *goes into the next bedroom*
** In the kitchen….**
Howie: *looking through the fridge* Real food at last!
**Howie is so engrossed in non- deep fried food he doesn’t notice a knife start to levitate**
Howie: Leftover Chinese food??? *smells it* Whoa! Rank.
** The knife sails through the air, missing Howie by an inch.. it sticks into the wall**
Howie: Holy Shit!!!* drops plate and runs out of the kitchen*
**Meanwhile…..** Nick: *watching TV in the living room* These guys have satellite! How cool is that? Now.. where the hell is that remote???? *remote floats into his hand*
Nick: Thanx. *thinks for a moment* AHHHHH!!! *runs upstairs*
** In the library..**
Kevin: Why the fu** didn’t I bring my cell?? *phone rings*
Kevin: …*picks up phone* Hello?
Caller: What’s your favorite scary movie?
Kevin:……?!? Uhm.. Scream 2 I guess…
Caller: Really? I haven’t seen that yet! I heard there’s a part three
Kevin: Yah, it’s coming in July… I think… You’re not going to kill me are you?
Caller: Huh? No, I’m conducting a survey.. Thanx for your time…
Kevin: No problem. *hangs up.*
**Upstairs**
Brian: What is going on here? Am I going insane? Is the constant screaming frying my brain?
Nick: *sneaking up behind him* BOO!!!!
Brian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *runs into a bedroom*
Nick: ?? *follows him* Brian, man, what’s up with you?
Brian: I don’t know anymore…
Nick: Look, can I hang out up here? I swear, something is wack with this house…. Brian: You noticed it too?
Nick: Well, remotes don’t usually fly Brian!
Brian: The remote flew?
Nick: Don’t ask.
Brian: We gotta get out of here… AJ thinks I’m nuts…so do I !
Nick: What about them? *gestures to window*
Brian: Screw ‘em.
Nick: Don’t mind if I do!
Brian: ……….
** In the dining room**
AJ: Howie?? Hellooo?
Howie: I-I’m in here..
AJ: Yo wassup?
Howie: Someone tried to kill me!
AJ: What else is new? *laughs*
Howie: Ha Ha. Very funny. I’m serious Bone! A knife flew into the wall, come on! * goes into the kitchen* Right here!
AJ: Uhm.. Howie?
Howie: Yah?
AJ: There’s nothing there…
Howie: What? *the knife is gone*
AJ: I think you and Brian have been in the sun too long…*walks out*
Howie: Humph.
**In the library again**
Kevin: *flipping through a magazine* Hey, cool. It’s me! *reading aloud* Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson was found dead at a house where they were hiding out from crazed fans….*voice trails off.*
AJ: *walking in* Hey, did you call the managers?
Kevin: *frozen in shock*
AJ: Kev?
Kevin: *babbling incoherently*
AJ: Great. Now me and Nick are the only sane BsBs left…
Kevin: Look! It says I’m dead! *shows article to AJ*
AJ: Yah…Kevin? This is a Southpark article… its talking about Kenny…
Kevin: I swear it said my name!
AJ: Kevin, I’m worried about you man. You’re going to end up in a special institution….
Kevin: Shut up AJ.
AJ: I’m going to call home.
Kevin: I’m going to see the others. *walks out*
AJ: *dialing phone*
**Upstairs**
Howie: And then next thing I know, there’s a knife flying for my head!
Brian: Creepy…
Nick:.........
Howie: AJ thinks I’m nuts…
Brian: Join the club.
Nick: Ha, ha, he doesn’t know the remote flew.
Kevin: *walking in* The remote flew!?
Nick:………
Brian: Don’t ask.
Kevin: You guys read this. *shows them the magazine*
Nick: *reads it* Damn, they killed Kenny again. That poor guy.
Kevin: That’s not what it said!
Brian: I really think we should get out of here…
Howie: I’m with Brian.
Nick: Me too. Let’s blow this joint…
Kevin: I don’t know you guys…
Brian: OH MY GOD!!!!!
Kevin: Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain Brian.
Brian: Blood….again…*mumbling*
*Blood is flowing down the walls*
Howie & Nick :AIEEEEEE!!!!
Kevin: Nasty.
*Evil laughter fills the room and gets louder and louder*
Brian: This is fu**ing starting to get to me…I’m outta here…
*They all run downstairs*
***
AJ: Huh. The phone’s dead. That’s weird. *hangs up the receiver*
*The other guys run into him*
AJ: Geez. Now what? You guys see a UFO?
Brian: No!
Nick: The walls were bleeding!
Howie: And some guy was laughing
Kevin: He sounded evil man!
AJ: You guys need a vacation….
Brian: Why the hell wont you believe us?
AJ: The walls bleeding…. Knifes flying on their own…
Nick: The remote flew….
AJ: *looks at Nick* Okaay… sure it did…
Evil Voice: GET OUT!!!!
AJ: Yah, make me.
Evil Voice: You wanna take this outside?
AJ: Not really.
Evil Voice: Pussy….
AJ: You wanna piece of me?
Evil Voice: Bring it on you pansy assed weakling…
AJ: Why don’t you show yourself?
Brian & Nick: He is….
Kevin & Howie: He’s the house
AJ: Yah….. okaay…
Evil Voice: You know, you should listen to your friends…
AJ: Great, now I’m going nuts…
Evil Voice: You will not survive…..*laughs*
***
Brian: Come on!! *tries to open the back door* Ow!!
Kevin: What’s wrong?
Brian: That doorknob is hot!
Nick: I hardly think this is the time to be developing a crush.
Brian: Fu** you.. I mean, it’s hot, like temperature hot!
Howie: *touches doorknob* Ow! He’s right!
Nick: Well, this is just peachy. Now how are we going to escape?
Kevin: This blows.
AJ: Why didn’t I become a Spice Girl? I mean, I could take Ginger’s place. I look good in Gucci..
Howie: AJ come on! Help us out here!!
AJ: *still thinking aloud* I had to listen to my mom and be a Backstreet Boy… I bet if I joined N’Sync I wouldn’t be surrounded by morons….
Brian: Maybe we could smash a window…
Kevin: It’s worth a shot..
Nick: Let’s go! *Kevin, Brian, Howie, and Nick all grab something heavy and run towards the patio windows.*
AJ: *sits down* This is probably all a joke.
***********************************
Nick: * throws a rock at the window* It’s not breaking!
Brian: No shit Sherlock.
Kevin: We have to keep trying!!!
Howie: What about AJ?
Brian: Screw him
Nick: Don’t mind if I…. Never mind….
House: Don’t you get it?
Kevin: No.
House: Don’t you understand?
Howie: What do you think?
House: You can’t escape.. You can’t beat me.
Nick: We can sure as hell try.
House: What are you going to do? Take off your shirt and hope the sight will kill me?
Brian: *laughs*
Howie: *laughs*
Kevin: *laughs*
Nick: What’s that supposed to mean?
House: You and your little girly body…
*Brian Howie and Kevin laugh even harder*
Nick: I don’t have a girly body!
House: Do too
Nick: Do not!
House: Do too
Brian: Okay, Nick, I hate to break it to you but you do.
Nick:…… Fu** you.
House: And what about Caterpillar Eyebrow boy?
Kevin: I’m assuming he means me.
Nick: *snicker*
House: And the gay ugly one?
Brian: He means you Howie…
Howie: Shut up…
House: And Freak Boy…
Brian & Nick : AJ…
House: And…. Um….. well gee… and… guy with the ugly 40 year old big nosed breast implant stupid bimbo slut of a girlfriend…
Brian: Actually, we broke up…
House: Oh. Damn. Well… Carrot Top!
Brian: It’s auburn actually…. Oh never mind.
House: When I get through with you you’re going to wish the teenyboppers got you first…
Nick: Hah. Fat chance…
AJ: *walking in* Okay guys, I’ve thought it over, and I’m not going to have you committed…
House: He doesn’t believe?
AJ: Nope.
House: *evilly* Well, how about some proof then?
** Chandelier starts to creak and moan.. without warning, it falls – right on top of Kevin..**
Kevin: ARRRGHHH!!! * dies*
Brian: Oh my god! They killed Kevin!
Nick & Howie: You bastard!!!
AJ: Hmm… I think it was an accident. Crappy construction perhaps…
Howie: Damnit AJ this house killed Kevin!
AJ: He’s acting.
Nick: *kicks Kevin’s carcass* Dude, he’s dead!
AJ: I see..
House: Now will you shut up?
AJ: Sounds like a plan..
** Doorbell rings**
Justin(N’Sync): Hello? Anybody home?
House: …??
Lance: There are a bunch of half dead teenyboppers on the front lawn…
Nick: There’s someone here all right!
Chris: The Bathroom Boys?
Brian: Backstreet Boys..
Chris: What ever..
J.C: What the hell happened here??
Howie: You don’t want to know.
Joey: Can we come in?
House: Oh, sure. It’s a regular convention…*door swings open*
**N’Sync walks in and the door slams shut**
N’Sync: ????
House: Five of you may leave.
Nick: See ya!
Brian: Have fun
Howie: Toodle-oo
AJ: Hahaha
JC: I’ll go too I guess.. I have no clue whats going on….
House: It’s something fun….trust me…
BsB(what’s left of them) : Bye!
JC: Bye… see you guys later.
**Door slams shut and the guys hail a cab**
***** One Week Later *****
Nick: Look at this headline. * Teen band tradegy*
Brian: Whew, thank god we got out…
AJ: Now all we have to be scared about is explaining about how there’s only four of us now…
Howie: Well, it’s better than poor JC… there’s only two N’Syncs left…
Brian: hehehe
AJ: Well, to the wolves we go…
Howie: What?
Nick: Press conference.
Howie: Oh…
Brian: sigh. *closes door behind him and walks into a sea of teenyboppers*
The End….. (or is it?)
