I still remember that moment. I was sitting on my Living Room couch on a Saturday afternoon. It was summer. The movie Titanic was on the TV. I wasn't a Leo fan, but I loved the movie to death! At 1:35, the movie ended. I turned it off when the credits started running. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. I took the tape out of the VCR, and switched the channel to Much Music. Some video was ending, I can't recall what it was. Rick the Temp, one of the VJs, came on, solemn faced. He normally was smiling... I leaned forward to hear what he wanted to say, and turned up the volume. Rick liked his lips and started talking. I quickly popped in my videotape and pressed record. I knew it would be big.
"I never know what to say in these situations" he began. A pit formed in my stomach, my first thought was that there would be another World War or something.
"It seems as though we've had a death in the music business". The pit grew.
"First, I would like all Backstreet Boys fans to sit down". A mouse squeak escaped from my throat and my hands went to my face. Rick looked at the paper he was holding.
"It happened late this afternoon. The Backstreet Boys were practicing for a concert scheduled for tonight in Michigan, when Brian Littrell doubled over. He was rushed to a local hospital. At 1:17PM today, he passed away..." I blocked out Rick's voice. I just stared. Then a single sob escaped from my throat. Tears rolling down my face, I pulled my legs to my chest. I began rocking back and forth. At that moment, my mother came walking through the door. She took one look at me and dropped her purse to the floor. She ran to my side.
"Oh honey! I just heard on the radio" she cried hugging me. I was trembling uncontrollably and was having trouble breathing. Every thought in my head was a picture of Brian smiling. More sobs and gasps for air while my mother rocked me back and forth, still hugging me tightly. There was a soft knock on the front door. My mother let go of me and walked to the door. She opened it. I didn't have the power to look up. My mother spoke quietly to the visitor and the door closed.
"Katie, sweetie. Alicia's here" she said. I raised my head slightly to see my best friend Alicia Cole standing in the front hallway. Tears streaming down her pale face, she suddenly let out a loud sob and raced to me. She wrapped her arms around me, and I cried even harder.
"Why Brian" I whispered, almost choking with tears. Alicia pulled back and shook her head.
"I don't know, Kate. I just don't know" she cried, sobbing. My mother had gone upstairs and the phone rang. Alicia told me not to get it. I ignored her and picked up the phone that sat on the table beside me.
"Hello?" I murmered quietly. A loud sob came in response. This made me cry even harder.
"No! This can't be really happening! No!" the called yelled through the reciever. It was Nancy Jones. She rarely cried, and I couldn't answer her. I handed the phone to Alicia. I blocked out Alicia's voice. Pictures of Brian flashed through my mind. I felt sick, painfully sick. Alicia was sobbing into the reciever. She hadn't even been a hardcore Brian fan. Her favourite was Nick. Nancy's was AJ. Mine of course was Brian. I closed my eyes. Then a rush of anger flowed through my body. I jumped up and tore up the stairs, blindly. Alicia was calling after me, I ignored her again. I ran to my room and slammed the door. I stared at my wall, which was covered with Brian. I let out a loud sob and began tearing down all my Brian and BSB posters. I once had over 2000 of them. Not caring if they ripped, I continued to pull of posters. They began piling on the floor. One full wall was white again. I let out another loud sob and calapsed to my knees. I laid my forehead on the carpet. Then I rolled on my side in the fetal position, hugging my knees. Then my room started spinning and I felt dizzy. A pale white covered all my walls. I blacked out.

I woke up laying on my bed, staring at Brian. There was a life-sized poster of him hanging on my ceiling above my bed. I closed my eyes, remembering what had happened. I sat up and my head was pounding. My mom opened my door and frowned at me.
"How are you, sweetie?" she asked walking to my bed. I shook my head and started crying again. My mom's eyes were filled with sorrow, I could tell she'd been crying too. She stroked my blond hair gently.
"I know it's hard. It was way too early. Way too early. DAMMIT KATIE!" my mother cried turning from me with her hand to her face.
"He was way too young" she said. Then I heard a tiny sob come from her mouth. I could tell she was struggling to hold it back. I closed my eyes, hoping to erase this entire day. My mother liked the Boys almost as much as me. Well, not really. But she was practically a fan. She knew everything about them, every lyric to their songs, every move to their dances. And all from me.

My mom left a few moments later. I laid back on my bed, and closed my eyes. The whole day seemed like a bad dream. Like a horrible nightmare that you can't seem to wake up from.