MY RESPONSES TO CHILD MOLESTATION RATIONALIZATIONS
(Note that the following responses are opinions of my own based on research,logic,commonsense and compassion.I am not a liscensed therapist)
1.Sex with children can make the child feel closer to adults.
MY RESPONSE Some children may tolerate sexual touching by an adult out of a need for attention and affection rather than sexual desire.
2. Since some victims tell the offender it feels good when the offender touches them, the child probably enjoys it and it probably won't affect the child much
. MY RESPONSE While nonviolent sexual touching of a child may not be painful to a child physically it may be psychologically damaging.
3 Many children who are sexually assaulted do not experience any major problems because of the assaults.
MY RESPONSE Many children who are sexually assaulted continue long after the assault to experience depression ,feelings of low self esteem,sexual confusion,inability to trust, irrational fears and anxiety attacks.
4.Sometimes, touching a child sexually is a way to show love and affection.
MY RESPONSE 4. A touch need not be sexual to express love.
5. Sometimes children don't say no to sexual activity because they are curious about sex or enjoy it.
MY RESPONSESometimes children don't say no to sexual activity with adults because they are eager to please and win approval of adults.
6. When kids don't tell that they were involved in sexual activity with an adult it is probably because they liked it or weren't bothered by it.
MY RESPONSEWhen kids don't tell that they were involved in sexual activity with an adult it is probably because they fear that the adult will no longer love them or they fear that they will not be believed.
7. Having sexual thoughts and fantasies about a child isn't all that bad because at least it is not really hurting the child.
MY RESPONSE Having sexual thoughts and fantasies about a child is a sign of sexual disorder and immaturity.
8.If a person does not use force to have sexual activity with a child, it will not harm the child as much.
MY RESPONSE> If a person does not use force to have sexual activity with a child, it does not mean that the act is truly consensual.
9.Some people are not "true" child molesters - they are just out of control and made a mistake.
Adults are expected to control themselves and take responsibility for their actions.
10Just fondling a child is not as bad as penetrating a child and will probably not affect the child as much.
MY RESPONSE>Just fondling a child is not as bad as penetrating a child on a physical level but can be as damaging emotionally.
11.Some sexual relations with children are a lot like adult sexual relationships.
MY RESPONSE A sexual relationship with a child can not be compared with a sexual relationship between adults where both parties are consenting and fully aware of what they are consenting to.
12.Sexual activity with children can help the child learn about sex.
MY RESPONSESexual activity with children can help the child learn about sex is a poor rationalization. A child could learn about the acitivies and responsibilities of an air traffic controller and yet we believe a child lacks the judgement needed for these acitivities and responsibilities.
13.Child molesters often get longer sentences than they really should.
MY RESPONSE There is a high rate of recividism among convicted child molesters.
14.Kids who get molested by more than one person probably are doing something to attract adults to them.
MY RESPONSEKids who get molested by more than one person are probably not recieving the supervision,care, love and attention they deserve.
15.Society makes a much bigger deal out of sexual activity with children than it really is.
MY RESPONSE Society makes a much bigger deal out of the sexual molestation of children because the majority of persons in that society believe children should be free to grow up and make their own decisions about sexual activity when their bodies have become sexually mature and they are ready to handle the emotional issues and responsibilities of sexual activity.
16.Sometimes molesters suffer the most, lose the most, or are hurt the most as a result of a sexual assault on a child more than a child suffers or is hurt.
MY RESPONSE If molestors suffer punishment it is the result of actions they chose.
17.It is better to have sex with one's child than to cheat on one's wife.
MY RESPONSE It is better to have sex with one's child than to cheat on one's wife is a deviant rationalization that indicates self centeredness, sociopathology and a lack of true love for ones wife and children
18. There is no real manipulation or threat used in a lot of sexual assaults on children.
MY RESPONSE All sexual assaults on children are defenseless
19. Some kids like sex with adults because it makes them feel wanted and loved.
MY RESPONSE A child should never feel they need to bargain sex for love and approval.
20.Some men sexually assaulted children because they really thought the children would enjoy how it felt.
MY RESPONSE Some men sexually assaulted children because they really thought the children would enjoy how it felt is a rationalization based on the desires of the man rather then the consideration of the feelings of the child.
21. During sexual assaults on children, some men ask their victims if they like it because they really want to please the child and make them feel good.
MY RESPONSE During sexual assaults on children, some men ask their victims if they like it because of their own need for approval which they feel there inadequcies would prevent them from getting from adult women or men.
23.Children who have been involved in sexual activity with an adult will eventually get over it and get on with their lives.
MY RESPONSEChildren who have been involved in sexual relationships with adults may carry the emotional scars for a lifetime.
24.Some children can act very seductively.
MY RESPONSE Some children can act very seductively.is a statement which implies a child's goal is sex rather than explaining a child's ability to mimic or learn behaviours they feel will get them attention which all children seek.
25.Trying to stay away from children is probably enough to prevent a molester from molesting again.
MY RESPONSE Trying to stay away from children is probably enough to prevent a molester from molesting again is a statement that does not relfect fact as evidenced in recidivism rates.
26. A lot of times, sexual assaults on children are not planned...they just happen.
MY RESPONSE A lot of times, sexual assaults on children are not planned...they just happen.because of someones selfish desire for self gratification and lack of maturity and self control.
27. Many men sexually assaulted children because of stress, and molesting helped to relieve that stress
.
MY RESPONSE Many men sexually assaulted children because of stress, and molesting helped to relieve that stress. is a statement that may be true but that one could also apply to a murderer and would not relieve the murderer of the responsibility of the act.
28. A lot of times, kids make up stories about people molesting them because they want to get attention.
MY RESPONSE A lot of times, kids make up stories about people molesting them because they have been molested .
29. If a person tells himself that he will never molest again, then he probably won't.
MY RESPONSEIf a person tells himself that he will never molest again, then he could be decieving himself and still poses a threat to children.
30.If a child looks at an adult's genitals, the child is probably interested in sex.
MY RESPONSE If a child looks at an adult's genitals, the child is expressing a natural curiousity about the human body.
31. Some young children are much more adult-like than other children.
MY RESPONSE Some young children are are more preccocious and may appear more adult like than others but social skills are not an indicator of emotional maturity.
32. Children can give adults more acceptance and love than other adults.
MY RESPONSE Children can be very loving and accepting of adults and this makes it all the more tragic when their trust is betrayed.
33. Some men who molest children really don't like molesting children.
MY RESPONSE Some men who molest children may experience feelings of guilt shame and self loathing after the act.Some molestors may experience no remorse.
34. If most children hadn't been sexually abused as children, then THEY probably never would have molested a child.
MY RESPONSEIf most children hadn't been sexually abused as children, then THEY probably never would have molested a child.is a statement not supported by fact and when this type of generalization is expressed it can cause even more pain to innocent people who have been vicitimized.
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