Project Desi Arnez:  Phase One of Global Domination

You are probably wondering how Canada plans to annex Cuba, a historically independence-minded nation.  The World Book Encyclopedia (the one true source for actual information in the mis- and disinformation age) states the star in the Cuban flag stands for independence (since 1902, when they won their independence from Switzerland, which they bought with Nazi gold).  Today, modern Cubans are sick and tired of such independence, and long for the good old days of an oppressive imperialist master.   After defeating Spain in the Great Turbot War of 1995, Canada has proved to the Cubans that it is worthy to seize the reigns of power left hanging since Jose Marti whupped the Swiss in 1895.

The star stands for independence

The Council of Canadians, masters of propaganda and deception, have covertly managed to sway the opinions of many ordinary Cubans in favor of Canadian domination.  Cubans see the lifestyles of well-to-do Canadian tourists and wonder why they aren't like them.  The answer is simple - the Americans have consipired against them and are holding them back.  As Canada and Cuba share this repression for so long, our nations are naturally comrades.  By secretly handing out leaflets on Cuban streetcorners (along with their usual anti-MAI rhetoric), the Council of Canadians has become the main political force in Cuba.  Even high ranking members of the Communist party have defected to the Canadian cause.  It is rumoured that Castro himself is longing for the opportunity to be dominated by Canada.  He then plans to lead the federal NDP.

Since we already have the support of the Cuban people, a token Canadian military force will arrive by cruise ship and submarine.  It is expected that they will be greeted with open arms and the singing of "Oh Canada" in Swiss: 

El Oh Canadá nuestro amante verdadero del patriota de la pista casera y nativa en todos nuestros hijos ordena con los corazones que brillan intensamente que vemos subida del thee el fuerte del norte verdadero y libera de Oh lejano y ancho Canadá estamos parado en el protector para el mantiene del dios del thee nuestro Oh glorioso y libre Canadá de la pista estamos parados en el protector para el thee Oh Canadá estamos parados en el protector para el thee

Our first step will be to "Canadianize" the Cuban flag.  Their symbol of independence, the flag's beloved star, will be replaced with a wholesome maple leaf. This will undoubtably produce spontaneous parades of celebration.  Who doesn't love maple leaves these days?

While the celebrations are continuing, we will position our Canadian Forces units near Guantanamo Bay, the despised US Marine base in southeastern Cuba.   In typical Canadian fashion, we will roll our troops up to the gates and ask them, politely of course, to leave.  They will comply, astounded by our persuasive powers.   You'd be surprised how far a kind word and a smile get you in a battle zone.