Project Titanic Sounds

Unwittingly, American consumers have been entertained by Canadian cultural exports for years.  While this may come as a terrible shock to many of you, it is part of the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission's plot to dominate American media from within.   Canadians have infiltrated slowly, as not to be noticed or arouse suspicion.   However, we control roughly 76.4% of all American entertainment at the present time. 

	Ever wonder why Ted Turner gave a huge donation to the United Nations, an organization that consistently ranks Canada as the best nation on Earth?  It is because Teddy is a closet Canadian, as is his arch-rival, Rupert Murdoch.  Neither will admit this officially, as they purport to be American and Australian, respectively, we assure you they are as Canadian as maple syrup soaked Mounties.
Rupert Murdoch:   Canadian born and raised

Recently, Canadians have turned to domination of the American airwaves.  Canadian music, in the past, has suffered due to terrible, terrible bands.   This has led Americans to associate Canada with bad music (Rush, Triumph, Anne Murray, and so on), but Canadian music is much more insidious than that today.   Groups like Our Lady Peace, Tea Party, Aldergrove, and Sarah McLachlan are legitimately good, yet few south of the 49th parallel recognize them as Canadian operatives bent on global conquest.  Even country music sensation Shania Twain is Canadian, proving that there is no form of music that Canadians won't stoop to in their unrelenting quest for supermacy.

Ever seen the movie Titanic?  The largest grossing movie of all time, based on the ship that sank off the coast of Newfoundland (sunk by a Canadian iceberg), was directed by and starred Canadians.  Yes, James Cameron, also director of the popular Terminator 2 and True Lies, is as Canadian as loggers wearing plaid beaver pelts smoking BC marijuana.  Kate Winslet is also Canadian-born, emigrating to Britain as a child.  While we can't lay claim to Leonardo DiCaprio's citizenship, he is actually a deep-cover spy in the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (Canada's superior answer to the CIA, the NSA, and the FBI - one efficient super-organization).   Do you enjoy the reprehensible "My Heart Will Go On-- The Love Theme From The Titanic" as much as we do?   The "artist" who sings this song is none other than the Quebecois chanteuse (that means French-Canadian singer) Celine Dion.  That's right, the song that dominates (or dominated, depending on when you read this) your pop radio stations is CANADIAN PROPAGANDA (listen carefully for the subliminal message - just play your CD backwards).

Leonardo DiCaprio:  Canadian spy

Star Trek's William Shatner, a Canadian, now hosts "Rescue 911", a dramatic life-and-death TV live-action drama about people who rescue other people (or something.  We've never watched it.).  In any case, 911 is a Canadian emergency number, ironically leading many Americans to believe that help will come if they dial this number.  Try it.  No one will come if you live in a country with stars in its flag (this includes many countries, from Algeria to Zimbabwe)

William Shatner:   Canadian Misinformation Agent

We could go on all day writing about Canadian actors, directors, artists, musicians, and scientists.  Instead, check this link to a reasonably complete list of Canadian media icons involved in your home country.   Right now.