You Know You're Ghetto If...

This is a long list... just read em till you get bored. lol




  • You put sugar on your frosted flakes


  • Your kids were in your wedding


  • You call your mama by her first name


  • You have a car phone and no car.


  • You iron dirty clothes.


  • You've been a guest on Ricky Lake, or Jerry Springer.


  • You're nineteen and you just met your father.


  • You have a wife and kids but still live at home with your momma.


  • You chew ice.


  • You still wear anything that says "Whoop, there it is."


  • You have ever used terms such as "It's all good", "she's all that", "don't go there" etc.


  • You record over previously recorded cassette tapes.


  • Your mother did your hair in the kitchen.


  • You don't pay your rent until you get the three-day notice.


  • You put on panty-hose instead of shaving your legs.


  • You buy clothes for a party and return them to the store the next day.


  • You only go to church on Easter and Mother's Day or to meet a man (or woman).


  • Your first name begins with TA', La', or Sha'.


  • You took the batteries out of the smoke detector to put in your pager.


  • Your bank is a check-cashing place.


  • You have to put stuff on layway at the 99-cent store.


  • You think putting batteries in the refrigerator recharges them.


  • When you were little you had to be in the house before the streetlights came on.


  • You take bubble baths with diswashing liquid, shampoo, or liquid detergent.


  • You return gifts for money.


  • You save cooking grease.


  • The only dates marked on the calendar are the 1st and the 15th.


  • Your mama whipped you and your friends.


  • You keep food stamps in a money clip.


  • You wear tube socks with dress shoes.


  • You add water to shampoo to stretch it.


  • You put your kids to sleep with NyQuil or Dimetapp.


  • You use your welfare check as collateral.


  • You can read your haircut.


  • You bought your rims before you bought your car.


  • Your fingernails are longer than your fingers.


  • You think jury duty is a good way to make money.


  • You think going on a diet means no candy.


  • You have a drawer in your kitchen just for condiments from fast-food restaurants.


  • You use a clothes hanger as a TV antenna.


  • Turning up the heat means turning on a burner on the stove.


  • The batteries in your remote control are held with a piece of tape.


  • Something smells spoiled in the refrigerator, and all you do is change the box of Arm & Hammer Baking soda.


  • Your furniture is covered in plastic.


  • You run and get pots as soon as it rains.


  • The back of your toilet seat is always off.


  • You use vaseline for shoe polish.


  • You don't think you're clean unless there is visible baby powder on your neck and chest.


  • The heels on your feet look like you've been kicking flour.


  • You use black eye liner to line your lips.


  • You wear your shower cap everywhere but in the shower.


  • You've never been to the dentist.


  • You clean your ears with a bobby pin, key, or ink pen cap.


  • The only art you own is on your fingernails.


  • You never learned to swim because you couldn't get your hair wet.


  • Your child thinks his real name is "Lil' Man"


  • You have trouble spelling your children's names and you named them


  • You page yourself


  • You got angry when the government stopped the cheese program


  • You drive around on a donut, months after the flat happened.


  • The announcements at your church is longer than the sermon.


  • There are more guest at the reception than at the wedding.


  • The majority of the flowers at the burial site are plastic and/or taken back the next day.


  • You take the bus to a club.


  • You ask perfect strangers to take a picture with you and tell people you dated them.


  • Your child drops his pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking on it.


  • You buy your stockings at the same place you do your grocery shopping.


  • You tell all your friends you are mixed with some other nationality, but the naps tell a different story.


  • You mixed up some kool-aid and realized you don't have sugar. Then you put the pitcher in the frige until you buy some.


  • If you ever use 'nem to describe a group of people (ex. Leroy and nem, or Jethro and nem)


  • You have relatives named Leroy and Jethro.


  • You ever left a social gathering with a plate.


  • You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (ex. Tooked, Light-skinneded, kilt or killeded, ruint, )


  • You fell asleep in a chair so that you wouldn't mess up your new hairdo.


  • If you had nostalgia reading all these things.


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