Warning: These Bands Suck!

Okay, let's face it. Not everyone who gets a record deal actually possesses talent. A lot of pop music today is studio-produced, which by definition can also be studio-created. So here is my list of bands, groups, artists, etc. that just plain suck and why. Don't get offended. Just get better music!


Spice Girls
Let's begin with the obvious. The Spice Girls appeared on David Letterman recently. When a group with five members, none of which who play instruments at all, whose members all sing, needs backup singers, you know there's a problem. They're pathetic. What insults me the most about the Spice Girls is their whole "Girl Power" thing. Each of them has their own nickname, "look", and personality based on their nickname. To me, this tells young girls that to be independent and cool, you have to fit into a certain category. No thanks, I'll pass.

Backstreet Boys
The Backstreet Boys are quite simply the New Kids on the Block reincarnated. Don't fall for it, people!

Hanson
Do I really have to explain this one?

Bush
Sorry to disappoint all you Bush fans out there, but Bush sucks. All of its songs sound exactly the same and none are any good. The guitar riffs are weak and the lyrics are inane. My wish is that Bush will realize their fate and save themselves the embarassment of another album.

Matchbox 20
I am seriously thinking of creating an anti-Matchbox 20 page. Why? Because they are quite possibly the worst band I've ever heard. They were created by music execs in LA who were searching for an instant hit. I'll admit, I almost-sorta-kinda liked their first single, Long Day. Then came Push, which I continue to loathe for its terrible lyrics. 3AM was just a huge piece of crap. But the song that really infuriates the hell out of me is Matchbox 20's latest single entitled Real World. I get sick every time I hear this song on the radio, which is about 3 times an hour. Get a load of the intro. lyrics:
"I wonder what it's like to be the rainmaker.
I wonder what it's like to know that I made the rain"
And then:
"Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here?
If I was someone else, would it all far apart....
...I wish the real world would just stop hassling me."

Personally, I wish Matchbox 20 would just stop hassling ME!

Insane Clown Posse
Known as ICP to its devotees, this so-called band is basically a bunch of freaks with no musical talent (a die-hard ICP fan I know admitted this himself!) and a lot of gimmicks. Their music is basically crappy rap filled with disgusting lyrics. I've heard the live shows are quite interesting, however.

 

 

What band/group/artist do you hate?

 

 

Okay peeps: here are the preliminary results of this Bands-That-Suck survey. I have received a bunch of responses; unfortunately, about half of them are from one friend alone (Ahem, Matt!!) So here:

Celine Dion: one ballot
Paula Cole: three ballots
Third Eye Blind: one ballot
Puff Daddy: one ballot
Twisted Sister: one ballot
W.A.S.P.: one ballot
Guns N Roses: five ballots (credit Matt w/ this statistical error!)
Motley Crue: four ballots
Marilyn Manson: two ballots
Bush: one ballot
Bad Company: one ballot
All Saints: one ballot
Mariah Carey: one ballot
Boyz II Men: one ballot
Mighty Mighty Bosstones: one ballot
'N Sync: one ballot
Alanis "Moreupset": one ballot
Offspring: one ballot

Also, there were some unusual ballots which include:

  • "any rap crap"
  • All of the "pale version of rock" groups: Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind, Tonic, etc.
  • and finally, this long winded ballot: puffy, foo fighters, bush, hanson, sg, joan osborne, paula cole, sarah maclau(whatever), korn, prodigy, teenage atari riot, marcys playground, chumbawumba, backstreet boys, metallica, and all this new gangsta rap shit
  • Some moron sent in Tori Amos, but I can't as a conscious Tori fan print that! Brianne, you suck!
Keep sending in those ballots!!