- "I'M GOING FISHING."
Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
- "IT'S A GUY THING."
Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
- "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?"
- "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," or "YES, DEAR."
Really means.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
- "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN."
Really means... "I have no idea how it works."
- "WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE."
Really means.... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
- "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Really means.... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
- "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Really means.... "Are you still talking?"
IT'S A REALLY GOOD MOVIE."
Really means.... "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."
- "THAT'S WOMEN'S WORK."
Really means.... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
- "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification
Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
- "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
- "OH.DON'T FUSS. I JUST CT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
- "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Really means.... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
- "I CAN'T FIND IT."
Really means.... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
- "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"
- "I HEARD YOU."
Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
- "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LVE ANYONE ELSE."
Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
- "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit.
- "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."
- "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."