The secret has been shared with
Secrets
by: Stephanie (JainaS1200@aol.com)
Doug Ross and Anna Del Amico strolled side by side down
the street, passing lewd neon signs and dark allies emitting bizarre
sounds. Nearing the corner, they glanced at the faces of the young
girls hawking their wares. None of the faces was the face they were
hoping for.
"I hate this," Doug sighed.
"You said that last time we were out here," Anna observed
with a smile.
"I really hate this," Doug repeated, glancing at a group of
children in ratty clothes huddled around a garbage can where they
had started a fire for warmth. "It’s strange."
"What’s that?" Anna asked, checking for cars before
crossing the street to the next block, which was merely a worse
version of the one they had just left.
"These kids," Doug replied, "I’ve never seen them, yet
they all look familiar."
"Yeah," Anna agreed, "I know what you mean." Doug
decided not to pursue her response and concentrated on searching.
They walked in silence for a few moments, scanning faces to no
avail.
Doug felt a hand slip around his waist from behind and a
high voice said, "Hey, hot stuff. Looking for a good time?" Doug
turned around to see a girl of about thirteen, caked with make-up in
a vain attempt to add a few years to her age. Doug deftly removed
her hand. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a twenty, and
handed it to her. He then turned and continued walking with Anna,
who raised an eyebrow, but made no comment.
Completing a circle, they stopped in front of Doug’s parked
Jeep, waiting exactly as they had left it with the exception that now
there was a long, harsh scratch down the side.
"Damn it," Doug bent down to examine exactly how deep
the key mark was.
"I told you we should have taken a bus," Anna supplied
helpfully.
"I wanted a car available in case we needed a fast get
away," Doug replied sarcastically, looking up at her. He stood up,
"It might buff out."
"Yeah, if you use a sandblaster." Anna looked around
them, seeing if there was someone who looked like they might have
seen what happened and would talk. Down the block, on the corner
she caught sight of a flash of blonde hair. She paused and the head
turned, to reveal the face they had been seeking.
"Doug," Anna pulled his jacket sleeve and pointed, "look
down there."
Doug gazed in the direction she was pointing and saw,
"Charlie." Doug moved to rush towards the corner.
"Wait, don’t make a scene! If she sees us before we get
close to her, she’ll bolt."
Doug nodded and contained himself. As casually as they
could, they made their way towards the corner. The closer they got,
the harder Doug’s heart pounded. He had no idea what they were
going to do once they got to her. They were about fifteen feet away,
when Charlie turned and saw them. Her eyes widened for a second
in shock before she turned and ran as hard as she could the other
way.
"Charlie, wait!" Doug broke after her when he saw her bolt.
He ran full speed across the street, narrowly escaping being hit head
on by a cab. The cab’s brakes squealed and it’s horn blared, but
Doug kept his eyes forward, not wanting to lose sight of his quarry.
It was too late. She was gone, in a crowd of lost souls that matched
her own.
"Damn!" Anna swore beside him. Doug turned startled,
unaware that Anna had been hot on his heels. They turned to go
back to the Jeep. Charlie wouldn’t dare show herself on the streets
again tonight.
*****
Doug burst through the doors of the ER, glancing at his
watch. He had managed to be only ten minutes late, when he
thought it would be twenty. The difference mattered little to the small
redhead laying in wait for him at reception.
"Doug," Kerry Weaver said, clutching the sign-in sheet,
"you’re late."
Doug tried to catch his breath, "And the longer you hold
that, the later I am." Kerry released the clipboard and Doug signed in.
Before Kerry could continue her lecture, Doug said, "I’m sorry.
It won’t happen again."
"Yeah," Jerry whispered to Malik, "as long as Carol’s on
before he is." Doug, not hearing went into the lounge to change.
"Hey Mark," Doug greeted his best friend as he opened
his locker. Mark yawned and rubbed his eyes, "Long day, buddy?"
"Yeah," Mark replied, "Had a six car pile up on the
Stevenson Expressway. One of the vehicles was a church van with
fifteen passengers and, of course, all the victims were brought here."
"Ouch," Doug replied pulling his scrub top on, "how is
everyone?"
"Lost two from the church van ... the driver and one kid.
Lost the lady who caused the whole thing, driving under the
influence. Two were DOA."
Doug shook his head and glanced at his watch, "Wait,
you’re not even off yet. What’s up?"
"I have an appointment with Dr. Adderholt in half an hour.
I’ll be back around 4:00."
"Oh, yeah?" Doug grinned, "Well, don’t worry about a
thing. We’ll hold down the fort ‘til you get back."
"See you later," Mark smiled walking out with Doug.
"You bet," Doug returned headed toward the board to find
his first patient.
Gazing at the board, Doug asked casually, "Anyone know
when Carol’s on today?"
Jerry looked at Malik signifanctly and nodded, "She should
be in any time."
*****
"Hey there, Teresa," Doug entered exam room 2 where a
four year old girl clutching a worn teddy bear sat on her mother’s lap,
"So, Mom tells me that you burned your hand." The little girl nodded,
her face tearstained. The mother didn’t look much better.
"I was cooking and she was playing in the floor. I turned
my back for just a second when I heard her scream. She had put her
hand on top of the stove beside the burner," the mother was very
upset.
"Can I take a look?" Doug asked softly, reaching gently
for the hand Teresa was cradling. She didn’t resist as Doug turned
the palm over and examined the red, barely blistered tissue. "These
little guys can move a lot faster than they look. Ok, it looks like just
first degree burns. It stings, but there’s no danger and there won’t
even be any scarring."
"Oh, thank goodness," the mother breathed a sigh of relief.
"Yep," Doug concurred, "but I am going to have to
evacuate the fluid from that blister."
"How are you going to do that?"
"N-E-E-D-L-E" Doug spelled and motioned Chuny, who
was with him, to retrieve one for him. "How upset do you think she’s
going to be?"
"Very," the mother sighed, turning Teresa around in her lap
so that Doug would have more room to work.
Chuny returned and passed the needle to Teresa without
her seeing it. "Ok princess," Doug looked Teresa in the eyes while
speaking to her, "we’re going to take care of this burn for you and
what’s going to happen is Mom’s going to hug you really tight, so
you’re completely safe. I’m going to hold your hand, and you’re
going to squeeze your eyes closed really tight, like this," Doug
squeezed his eyes closed in example, "That’s all you’ve got to do.
Think you can handle it?" Teresa nodded warily. Doug took her
hand, "Ok, Mom, ready?" Teresa’s mom held her in a secure hug,
not restraining, but reassuring. Teresa squeezed her eyes closed.
As quickly as he could, Doug took the needle and pressed it into
the blister. It broke easily, spilling the fluid out which Chuny soaked
up with a gauze pad. "Ok, kid, all done." Teresa opened her eyes
and looked at her hand. She then looked up at Doug and gave a
small smile.
Teresa’s mother looked at Doug in amazement, "She has
never let an ... N-E-E-D-L-E ... touch her without throwing a fit."
Doug smiled taking a tube of ointment and rubbed it over
the little girl’s hand, "Well, I get lots of practice thinking up ways to
distract them," he explained and picked up a roll of gauze. As he
wrapped Teresa’s hand, he continued, "We’re going to need to
keep these dry, all right. Check them periodically for three to five
days. If they’re moist, change them. She should be just fine by next
week." Doug finished up and patted Teresa’s head, “and I don’t
think she’ll be reaching up on the stovetop again."
"No, she won’t because I’m going to watch her like a
hawk from now on," Teresa’s mother said firmly standing with her
daughter, "Thank you very much Dr. Ross."
Doug walked with them to the doors and waved good-bye
as they left.
"Nicely done, Doug," Chuny commented as Doug turned
to go into the nurses’ station.
"Thank you," Doug replied, looking up at the board for his
next patient.
"Hey Carol," Jerry greeted as she came through the doors.
Doug looked over at her from the board and smiled. She glanced at
him and smiled back, but said nothing.
"Doug!" Doug started and turned, seeing Kerry bedside
him, "Thank you. I only said your name four times. There’s a thirteen
year old with a knee injury in six."
"Sorry, Kerry. Thanks, I’ll take care of it." Doug replied
taking the chart she held out to him as the phone rang.
Carol answered it and frowned, "Doug?" Doug turned
around, "It’s your father Doug."
Doug’s eyes narrowed. The nurses’ station got a little
quieter as Jerry, Lydia, and Chuny tried not to be obvious about trying
to hear what was going to be said. Doug took the phone from Carol,
and without putting the receiver to his ear, hung it up.
*****
"Hey, Mark," Doug greeted Mark as he came through the
doors at ten minutes ‘til 4:00, "how was your afternoon?"
Mark considered the question, "I think it went very well."
"Well, if you want to talk anytime..."
"Yeah, I know, Doug. Thanks." Mark went into the lounge
to prepare to return to work. Doug was making notes on a chart
when the phone rang beside him. E Ray picked it up.
"Dr. Ross," E Ray handed the phone to Doug, "it’s NICU."
Doug listened to the phone for a moment then hung it up.
Mark came out from the lounge, "Mark?"
"Yeah Doug?"
"They need me in NICU for a few minutes. If you need
me, page me."
"Sure, no problem."
Mark walked over to the board to find a patient.
"Dr. Greene," E Ray tapped Mark on the shoulder, "there’s
a 35 year old woman in one you can take. It’s a domestic violence
call. Her son called it in."
"Oh, man!" Mark groaned looking at E Ray.
"Yeah, poor kid saw his dad knock his mom down the
stairs. He’s sitting over in Chairs."
Mark looked over and saw a seven year old boy, blonde
and looking very scared sitting by himself in the waiting area.
He sighed and headed for exam one.
*****
Doug finished making notes on the chart of a preemie who
had gone into respiratory arrest in the NICU, "Ok, Kit, just follow these
instructions for tonight and show these notes to Dr. Tabash when he
gets here in the morning," Doug instructed the nurse on duty.
"Thank you Dr. Ross," Kit smiled and put the chart back
in it’s place.
Doug grinned, patting the preemie on the tummy and
whispered, "You hang in there, kid." He turned to head out of the
NICU, glancing at the beds of babies as he went. On the other side
of the NICU, he spotted Peter Benton, leaning over the bed of one
small boy, letting the child hold his finger in a tiny clasp. Doug
paused, puzzled and went over to him, "Peter?"
Benton looked up, startled. He stared at Doug, unsure of
what to say. His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.
He stopped trying and looked back down at his son.
"I take it by your reaction that you’re not here earning
brownie points toward getting back into pediatric surgery," Doug said
softly.
Peter snorted, "Wish I’d thought of that excuse. I’ll keep it
in mind."
"He’s your son?" Doug asked inclining his head toward
the baby boy. Peter nodded, "What’s his name?"
"We hadn’t decided on one yet."
"You know what you’re going to do yet?"
"I don’t know," Peter sighed, "I was supposed to have two
more months to consider my options. Now, we don’t even know
what kind of a life he’s going to have."
Doug listened quietly, deep in thought. Visibly coming to a
decision, he reached into his back pocket and took out his wallet.
He removed a worn picture from a slit and handed it to Benton.
Peter looked down at the picture of a baby, obviously taken at the
hospital when it was born, "That’s my son," Doug explained. Peter
looked up from the photo quickly and stared at Doug is disbelief.
Doug returned his gaze, "He’s about twelve years old now. I’ve
never seen him. I don’t know where he is. I don’t know his birthday.
I don’t know his name," Doug took the photo back and returned it
to his wallet, "Let me give you this piece of advice, be a part of this
boy’s life." He looked at Peter sincerely, then turned to continue out
of the NICU.
"Ross," Benton stopped him, "I’m not ready for everyone
to know about this yet."
Doug nodded, "I’m not either." The two men looked at
each other, each nodding the promise of a secret kept.
*****
Doug bounded down the last of the stairs to the ER. Carol
spotted him and hurried over to him, "Doug..."
"Hey Carol," Doug smiled walking with her into the ER,
"We haven’t had a chance to talk today, but I thought..." Doug
stopped in his tracks when he walked past Chairs.
Carol sighed, "I was trying to tell you...you’re father’s here."
Ray stood up and looked at his son. Doug coldly stared back, then
turned away to go into the nurses’ station.
"Doug, wait a minute," Ray moved after him, "I just want to
talk to you."
"I’ve got nothing to say to you, Ray, and I don’t have any
money to give you, so that covers anything you may have needed
with me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a job to do." Doug
grabbed a chart and began to head towards the exam areas where
his patient waited. Jerry, E Ray, Chuny, Lydia, Doyle, Carol, and
Mark moved uncomfortably around the nurses’ station and reception
as the argument continued.
Ray moved in front of Doug, "Son, I really need to talk to
you about something."
Doug stared at him, then looked at his coworkers, who
were trying, miserably, not to stare. He sighed and motioned Ray to
follow him into a nearby vacant exam room. He shut the door. The
blinds were open, so everyone could see the two talking. All they
could hear though, were muffled voices.
"What’s going on there?" Doyle asked.
"That’s Doug’s father," Mark responded, "He walked out
on Doug and his mother when he was a kid. They don’t get along
too well."
"I’ll say," Lydia agreed as the volume increased inside the
exam room and a slam was heard as Doug slammed the chart he had
been holding down on the exam table. Everyone outside winced
uncomfortably, but continued to watch through the window.
"What’s going on?" Kerry asked, coming over with Carter
and Del Amico following, "You can hear the commotion all over the
ER."
Mark motioned towards the exam room and the three
looked in, seeing Doug and Ray in a heated argument. Suddenly,
out of nowhere, Ray pulled back and launched a vicious punch into
Doug’s face. Before Doug could recover, Ray grabbed the front of
his scrub top and rammed him hard into the wall. For a moment, no
one outside could move. They were all stunned. Then Mark, Carter,
Jerry, and Carol rushed toward the exam room. Everyone else looked
on in shock.
Meanwhile, Doug had broken Ray’s hold on him and
returned the earlier punch in kind, knocking Ray to the floor. He
moved to grab Ray, but Mark and Jerry grabbed a hold of him first,
restraining him. Ray looked up at his son.
Doug stared coldly at his father on the ground. He was
trembling with rage and fire was in his eyes, "Don’t you ever touch
me again," he was yelling, unable to hold back the anger he’d held
inside for so long. Ray moved his hand to his bleeding lip and
winced at the pain., "It’s not like it was when I was little is it, Ray?
I’m not four years old anymore. It’s not 3:00 in the morning with you
stumbling into my bedroom drunk, your only reason for waking me is
that you needed someone to belt! You had to beat on someone who
couldn’t fight back!" Everything grew silent. Everyone was stunned
at what they had heard. Doug stopped cold, realizing what he had
shouted. One glance at the faces around him confirmed that they
had indeed heard. He turned and stormed past them all, slamming
open the ambulance doors and storming into the bay. Nobody
moved. Ray picked himself up off of the floor. Finally, Carol moved
and walked in front of him and looked him accusingly in the eyes.
He met her gaze for a moment, then looked away. Trembling with
rage herself, she slapped him across the face, then went after Doug.
*****
She found him in the ambulance bay, sitting on a set of
stairs that led to an alleyway. He sat with his head in his hands,
looking like a lost little boy. She made her way to him, with no idea
what she was going to say.
"Doug?" she whispered softly. He didn’t move. "Doug?"
she repeated, placing a hand gently on his arm. He looked up at her.
His eyes were filled with pain that he was struggling desperately not
to show. "Are you ok?" she asked helplessly, not knowing what she
could say.
Doug looked at her and tried to smile, "I’m fine. I just can’t
believe I said that out loud," he shook his head, "I never wanted
anyone to know."
"It’s not something you should be ashamed of. You
couldn’t help what happened to you."
"I know, it’s just ... I don’t know. I guess I never wanted
anyone reading it into my life."
"What do you mean?" Carol asked confused.
"I didn’t want people saying, ‘Well he acts that way
because of his father. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain and I’m not
sure that I really understand."
They both turned as the ambulance doors opened. Ray
came out and looked over towards them. Doug narrowed his eyes
and glared at Ray. Ray looked down at his feet and walked away
toward the street.
Carol turned back to Doug, "Why don’t you come back
inside and we’ll put some ice on that eye. It’s turning blue."
Doug shook his head, "I think I want to be by myself a bit,
take a walk or something."
Carol hesitated, but gave in, "All right, we’ll ice it when you
get back."
Doug nodded, got up and headed down the alley which
came out on the street.
*****
Carol glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. Mark
came up beside her.
"He’s been gone for three hours. You think he’s ok?" she
asked.
"He probably needs some time to work this out," Mark said.
Carol nodded. The ambulance doors opened and Doug
walked in looking at his feet. He approached the nurses’ station,
went inside, and gazed up at the board without looking at anyone.
"Doug," Carol approached him gently, "that eye looks
terrible. Why don’t we let Mark take a look at it and then put some
ice on it?"
Doug shook his head, "I’m fine."
"Doug, please do this for me," Carol asked. Jerry, Mark,
Lydia, and Carter listened nearby. Carol put her hand on Doug’s
shoulder.
Doug shrugged her off, "Carol, I don’t want..." Carol cut
him off, putting her hands on his face and kissing his lips. The crew
looked on in amazement.
Carol pulled back. Doug looked her in the eyes, "I thought
you wanted to keep our relationship private?"
Carol stared back at him intently, "Screw it," she put her
lips to his again and this time he responded, putting his arms around
her and returning the kiss. After a moment, they pulled back, aware
that they were being stared at. They looked over at the crew and
Doug managed a small smile, "Can we get that eye taken care of
now?" Doug nodded and allowed Carol to lead him into the lounge.
"Mark?" Carol called for Mark to follow.
*****
Mark finished examining Doug’s eye, "Everything looks ok.
Just a normal shiner." he turned, "Carol can you get me...oh, thanks,"
he took the icebag he was about to ask for from Carol and gave it to
Doug, " You know what to do with it." Doug sighed and put the ice
to his eye, wincing slightly. Mark looked down at him, "Why don’t
you take the rest of the day off."
Doug shook his head, "No, thanks. I don’t feel like going
home."
Mark nodded, "Ok, there’s no reason medically you can’t
work." he shook his head and exited the lounge.
Carol sat down beside Doug on the couch, "You sure you
won’t go home?"
"I just want to work and try to forget this afternoon ever
happened." Doug got up, still holding the icebag to his eye and
walked out of the lounge holding Carol’s hand. As he walked toward
the board, a little blonde boy, about seven years old came over to
them and tugged on Doug’s hand. Doug removed the icebag and
looked down at the boy.
The boy looked back up at him, "Whenever my dad hits
me, my mom always gives me a big hug," he said in a small voice, "It
always makes me feel better."
Doug knelt down in front of the boy looked him in the eyes.
The boy returned his gaze, then put his small arms around Doug’s
neck, and gave him a hug.
***
Send all comments, thoughts, and responses to JainaS1200@aol.com.
Thanks!
If you are interested in contributing any fanfic, for E.R., or for any other show, please contact me, at IDFGRL@juno.com Thanks, Theresa IDFGRL@juno.com