By: Courtney     Shea29@aol.com

	Carol draws back to look at Doug. Her face is aglow as 
she looks into his eyes. The kiss they've just shared is the
culmination of months of longing between them. He smiles that smile
she knows so well. She opens the front door and takes Doug's hand 
to lead him into the foyer. 

	"No," he whispers, pulling away. "I have to go."

	"What? Your leaving?" Her disappointment is obvious.

	"Yeah, I have to. I need to."

	"But, I want you to stay."

	"I know, I want to stay, more than you know. But I can't."

	"Why?" She is skeptical of his motives in even coming, now. Was he just
trying to show her she wasn't over him? Teasing her? No, that kiss was no
tease. It felt very real to Carol. 

	"I don't want it to be like this," Doug says, his voice trailing off. He
pauses, then continues when he sees the doubt in Carol's eyes. "I didn't come
here for *this*," motions to the open door. "I came here because I couldn't
stay away any longer. I have wanted to do this for a long time. I almost lost
my nerve tonight, actually," he gives a short laugh and looks away
sheepishly. Carol catches the look in his eyes and her heart pounds. She
pulls him to her and kisses him again, passionately. Though she wants
desperately for him to stay, his motives for leaving make him even more
appealing to her. "I have to go," Doug insists again. While he wants to stay
with her, he wills himself to go. She smiles, and grabs his hand.

	"Will you call me?" 

	"As soon as I hit the door," he promises and begins to descend the porch
steps. 	Carol walks to the railing, still grasping his hand. As he walks
further away, she loosens her grasp until, finally, his fingers slip away.
Her smile broadens as he walks away, looking over his shoulder as though to
be sure she really is there. She catches one last glimpse as he slips out of
the light from the street lamp and into the darkness. She stares at the spot
where he was for one moment longer, then turns and walks inside her house. 

              Closing the door, she leans against it and clutches her chest. Her heart
is still pounding. She can still taste his kiss and feel the lingering of his
lips on hers. She is overcome by emotion. She peeks back out at the empty
street and finds herself longing for daylight so she can see him again. She
turns and bounds the stairs in excitement.

	Doug watches Carol as he walks away, not wanting to leave but knowing he
must. When she is finally out of sight, he picks up his pace, reaching his
car in moments. He gets in and suddenly he stops. His hands shake as they
grip the steering wheel. 'I just kissed Carol', he thinks, unbelieving. He
smiles to himself then starts the car, eager to get home so he can hear her
voice again.

*********************************************************************

	Carol is sitting in the bathtub, surrounded by bubbles. The ringing of the
phone makes her jump and she grabs it before the first ring can end. "Hello?"
She cannot conceal the happiness and expectation in her voice as she speaks. 

	"Hi, beautiful," Doug greets her. 

	"Doug . . . ," there is so much she wants to say and it all comes at her at
once, " I . . . " She can't find the words to say what is on her mind. 

	"What are you doing?" he asks as she falters.

	"Taking a bath, . . . you?"

	"Wishing I was there."

	"Me, too. You can come back over, you know. My invitation still stands."

	"No, trust me, it's better this way. I want the whole you, not just what was
waiting inside that door."

	"That's part of the package."

	"I know, but I want us to take this slow. I don't want to rush into it. One
of us might regret it later."

	"I'd never regret it. But, I'm honored you feel that way about me, really."
She pauses and summons up her courage to continue. "Doug, I'm glad you came
tonight. I've been hoping you would." He opens his mouth to speak but his
emotions are so strong, the words are lost.

	She hears his voice crack and then he breathes deeply. "I can't wait to see
you again. I'll dream about you."

	"I can't wait either. Goodnight Doug."

	"Sweet dreams," he says and cradles the receiver. 
************************************************************************

	Hours later, both Doug and Carol are lying awake in their respective beds,
each contemplating the night's events. Sleep alludes them both as their
emotions run wild. Late into the night, each of them finally drifts into a
fitful sleep, filled with dreams. Carol's dream begins back out on her porch.
She's kissing Doug once again and her body fills with heat. He pulls back and
looks at her, holding her face in his hands. His fingers caress her
cheekbones and his eyes are full of emotion. "How did I ever live without you
. . . ,"he says and pulls her to him to ravage her with more kisses. 

	Across town, Doug is also embroiled in an intense dream. He is standing in a
garden and he's looking for Carol. He turns to see her approaching. She is
wearing a long, white dress, reminiscent of a wedding dress. Doug watches as
she nears him, his heart is thumping in his ears. She finally reaches his
side and takes his hands in hers. "It's always been you," she says. They kiss
sweetly and she lays her head on his shoulder. They begin to dance. There is
no music playing, only the melody they hear within each others' heart. The
alarm goes off and Doug is pulled reluctantly from his peaceful dream. He
hits snooze and considers trying to return to the dream, but then he
remembers it is morning. Carol will arrive at work soon and this propels him
to the shower to start the day.

************************************************************************

	Carol arrives at Cook County General earlier than usual. Her shift begins at
9 am but it is not even 8 o'clock as she rounds the corner at the nurses
station. "You're in early this morning," Haleh says when she sees Carol
approaching. 

	"Is Doug here yet?" She tries to make the question sound casual but she can
tell by Haleh's expression that she has not succeed. Her eyes are full of
questions as she shakes her head no. "I'm going to go to the lounge for a
while before my shift," she says, adding as she walks away," if anyone needs
me."

	She sits on the sofa and looks out of the window. Before she knows it, she
is far away, in another place. A place where she and Doug are the only two
souls on earth and where they were never really apart.

	Doug approaches the nurses station and opens his mouth to ask Haleh if she's
seen Carol. Before he can even pose the question, she interjects," Try the
lounge, I think you'll find what you're looking for." She smiles and turns
back to her work. 

	Doug, uninterested in how Haleh knows who he is looking for, turns and
hurries to the lounge. When he enters, he finds Carol, lost in her own
thoughts. As the door opens, she looks up and smiles at the sight of him. He
returns the smile and rushes to sit beside her on the sofa. "I barely slept a
wink last night," he confesses in a hushed voice. 

	"Me either," she says and leans closer to him. He looks into her eyes for
another moment then leans in and finds her mouth. Their kiss is every bit as
explosive as the one they shared just hours before on her front porch. Their
lips linger there, hating the moment to end. They finally part and look at
one another for a long moment. "You're all I ever want," Doug says and Carol
can't help but blush. They begin to talk about nothing and everything, all at
once. They are so engaged in their own conversation that they don't notice
Mark until he is nearly right beside them. "Morning," he says absently with
only a glance their way. 

	"Good morning, Mark," Carol says, her voice exuberant. She can't hide her
giddiness and trails her statement with a short giggle. Doug smiles and
greets Mark with much the same tone.

	Mark, realizing he has missed something, looks their way. "You two are
acting strange, what's going on?"

	"Nothing, buddy, it's just a great morning," Doug says, grinning from ear to
ear, and Mark begins to see what is going on. He starts to make a comment but
the look on Doug's face changes his mind. He can tell he is interrupting and
simply says, "Doug, catch up with me later, okay?"

	"Sure, Mark," he smiles his gratitude to his friend and Mark leaves. Doug
and Carol turn back to one another. 

	"I think our secret is out," she says. 

	"Do you mind, if they know, I mean. If you don't want them to, we'll cool
it, keep it private. It's up to you."

	"I don't care who knows. You can tell the world. I'm just glad." She smiles
at Doug and he continues to glance up at her, his head tilted, slightly
downward.

	"What are you glad about?," he leads, already knowing. She looks into his
eyes. They are the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen. His lips are curled
into that boyish grin that never fails to melt her heart. "Everything," she
answers and pulls him into her arms. 

************************************************************************

	The remainder of the day is eventful, to say the least. They continue to
cast sideways glances at one another, trying to concentrate on their
surroundings but each unable to get the other off their mind. The rumor mill
has kicked into high gear and by 11 o'clock there is barely a soul in the ER
who's ears have escaped the news. Speculation abounds on just what, exactly,
is going on between Dr. Ross and Nurse Hathaway, since neither has come right
out and confirmed or denied anything. But, one thing is clear to everyone:
something IS going on. Just before lunch, Mark corners Doug in an empty exam
room after a trauma. "Okay, spill it," he says turning to Doug. 

	"I have no idea what you're talking about," Doug says and turns away as
though to leave. 

	Mark catches him by the shoulder and spins him around to face him. "Don't
give me that, Ross! I know there's something going on with you and a certain
nurse, now 'fess up!" Doug smirks at his friend and his eyes betray his
secret. 
	"Alright, we're, kind of, starting up again, I guess," he fumbles. 

	Mark smiles and pats Doug's shoulder. "Details, Doug!" 

	"A gentleman never tells!" Mark widens his eyes a little and raises his
eyebrows, thinking he catches on to what Doug is alluding to, but Doug is
quick to recover. "No, I'm only kidding. Okay, I'll tell you, but this goes
no further than this room, deal?"

	"Deal."

	Doug comes closer and begins to speak in a hushed voice, "Last night, I went
by her place," he begins. 

	"Yeah, and . . .," Mark says.

	"And . . .I kissed her."

	"And . . ."

	"And nothing, that's it. We kissed on her porch and I went home. I spoke to
her on the phone, then went to sleep. This morning we spent about an hour in
the lounge talking, well mostly talking," his lips form a lopsided grin. Mark
looks skeptically at his friend. 

	"You mean to tell me you got up the nerve to go over there, to her house,
last night, and kissed her, on her front porch. Then *you*, Doug Ross, went
*home*? *Alone*?!"

	"Yeah," he says. "Look Mark, its not like that with Carol and me anymore. I
mean, I want this to be right. I don't want to screw it up before it even
gets started. I really care about her." 

	Mark's suspicion fades as he sees the sincere expression on Doug's face. He
smiles a genuine smile at his friend and extends his hand. Doug takes it,
shakes, looking quizzically at Mark. "Congratulations," Mark says and turns
to go. 

	"For what, exactly?" Doug shouts after him.

	"For joining us grown ups," he shouts back as he walks out. Doug laughs as
Mark turns the corner and vanishes from sight. 'Yeah,' he thinks to himself,
'yeah.'

************************************************************************

	"Carol, how long are you gonna keep this up, girl?" Chunny says as she and
the other nurses drill Carol for the hundredth time about the situation with
she and Dr. Ross. 

	"I knew this was going to happen, I saw it coming a mile away," Lydia
comments nonchalantly. 

	"Oh, really! How, may I ask is that? I left here last night on a date with
Toby from radiology, remember?" Carol can't help but smile. It's not that she
doesn't want her friends to know about she and Doug, she just doesn't want to
discuss it openly, yet. She isn't doing anything to jinx this!

	"Yeah, but you and Dr. Ross are meant to be together. It was bound to happen
eventually," Wendy says as she files paperwork in a nearby cabinet. 

	"Star-crossed lovers," Jerry pipes in.
          
               Carol brightens at this thought.
	
               Suddenly they all grow quiet as Doug approaches. "Hey guys, what's going on
today?" he asks them. 
	
               "Oh nothing, not a thing," they all chime in and scurry off to let the new
couple be alone, but not too far. No one ventures out of earshot.
	
                Doug laughs, as does Carol, at the stir they have created. "This is worse
than tabloid journalism," she says. He smiles at her as their eyes meet. 

	"Are you free for lunch soon?" he asks. The other nurses and staff lean in
to hear her response. She glances back at them and they move away, each
busying themselves with pointless tasks, trying to look uninterested. 

	Carol smiles back at Doug and nods a yes to his invitation. "Give me ten
minutes," she says and with that he gives her a wink and goes to tie up a few
loose ends of his own before their lunch date. 

	As Carol turns back to her work she sees the others smiling and looking
towards her out of the corner of her eye. She tries to act nonchalant but her
happiness betrays her and she can't help but grin.

*******************************************************************

	Ten minutes later, she goes to the lounge where Doug is waiting for her. He
stands as she enters the room and walks over to take her hand. She looks up
at him. "Where would you like to go?" he asks. 

	"Anywhere, it doesn't really matter. Somewhere private," she adds. 

	He grins at this and leads her out of the lounge. All eyes follow them down
the hall as they continue to clutch one another's hand. Someone whistles
loudly and Doug squeezes her hand. She inches closer to him as they exit the
hospital.

	They walk a block or so to a nearby restaurant that both of them have been
to a few times. The food isn't bad, but it's nothing all that great. They
have not chosen it for the cuisine. They are more interested in the quiet
corner booth in the back, which is free when they arrive. They sit down, both
on the same side of the booth, still holding hands. 
"What would you like?" Doug asks as they glance at a menu. 

	"I don't know," she replies. Food is not really of much interest to her at
the moment. "I'm not sure I'm even hungry," she added.

	"Aw, come on, order something. I can't have you starving. How about . . . ,"
he scans the menu for an option. The restaurant is called Jake's and they
serve a little of everything. "um, a hamburger? Or maybe we could split a
sandwich or something. Or pasta. What do you think?"

	"I don't care, you decide," she moves closer to him and he puts his arm
around her waist, drawing her closer still. She feels so right being there,
in his embrace. The waiter comes and Doug orders them a plate of pasta and a
salad. After the waiter leaves, Doug turns back to Carol. "You know, I
thought for a long time that we'd never be this way again. I still can't
believe it's all happening. I feel like, any minute now, I'll wake up and
you'll be gone again."

	She touches his face and looks in his eyes. "I'm not letting you get away
that easy, Doug Ross!" She leans in and kisses him. They have to make
themselves part, reminding themselves that they *are* in a public place and
that they should at least try to behave.

      The waiter returns shortly with their food. Carol tells Doug she's
really not hungry a second time but he tells her she has to eat, "at least a
little." He picks up the fork and feeds her a bite of the pasta. They
continue eating, more interested in each other than the food. Doug turns to
her and smiles. "You have sauce on your lip," he laughs. 

	She licks her lips. "Did I get it?"

	"No, let me get it for you." He draws her to him and kisses her several
times. 

	"We should go," she whispers. He couldn't agree more. He leaves the money
for their bill and they hurry from the restaurant. 

	"Where to?" he asks her.

	She looks up, thinks a moment, and smiles deliciously. "We have time to go
to my place?" she asks.

	"Your wicked, you know that," he says. They snuggle close together and
continue walking. They have only been away from the hospital for about twenty
five minutes so they decide to walk to the park before returning to work.
They find a secluded park bench and spend the remainder of their lunch hour
'making out' like teenagers. They're both giggling when they return to the
ER, arm in arm. 

	As they enter, everyone's attention instantly diverts to them. Doug smiles,
looks at the crowd, then at Carol. She sees the glint in his eye as he leans
in and kisses her for all to see. The crowd hoots and howlers as the
lovebirds embrace. When they break, Doug leans in and whispers in her ear,
"See you tonight?"

	"Definitely," she whispers back. He bows to the crowd and he and Carol part
ways and get back to work. 

	Carol walks over to the nurses' station and resumes her paperwork. Carter,
Kerry, and Doyle are all standing nearby and they look rather expectedly at
Carol. "What?!" she asks. 

	"Nothing," Doyle and Carter say in unison. They smirk at one another and
walk towards the trauma rooms.

	"It's about time," Kerry says as she passes. Carol looks at her and Kerry
smiles. Shaking her head, she goes back to her paperwork. 

************************************************************************

	That night, at around 8 o'clock, Doug rings the doorbell at Carol's house.
He is wearing a suit and tie and carries a bouquet of white roses. Carol
answers the door in a slinky, black gown. Doug grins in appreciation of her
attire. "For you," he hands her the roses. 

	"Thank you, they're beautiful!"

	"Not as beautiful as you look in that dress," he says. "I wonder if I should
take you out in that. Someone might try to steal you away from me."

	"They'd never have a chance." She smiles and steps back to allow Doug to
enter. "Let me just go get some water for these. I'll be right out." She
disappears into the kitchen, appearing moments later with the flowers in a
crystal vase. She sets the vase on a table in the entryway and goes over to
take Doug's arm as he extends it. 

	They walk outside to Doug's awaiting car. He opens the door for her then
goes around and lets himself in. He pulls away from the house. They spend the
evening dancing, eating, but mostly, enjoying each other's company. It is the
first date they've had in over three years and neither remembers any of the
previous ones being as wonderful as this one is. 

	At the end of the night, Doug walks Carol to her door and, again, she
invites him in, but, again, he refuses. "We are going to take this slow and
easy," he tells her as he kisses her good night. "I am going to make
everything perfect this time."

	She smiles and kisses him again, then he turns to go. She watches him walk
down the steps, still shocked that all of this is real. 'How much more
perfect could it possibly be?' she wonders to herself. She smiles softly as
she turns to enter the house.

************************************************************************