What is an avocado?
Are you people crazy?
Who's in charge here?
Who let you guys loose?
What if I take you seriously?
What is this place all about?
Please can I join?
Did this website morph when I wasn't paying attention?
1.) What's an avocado?
An avocado is a fruit that nobody would actually expect a sane person to eat. We can relate to it well, because nobody expects us to be sane. And since nobody would eat it, it's the perfect thing to worship--we're not taking anything away from our memebrs by forbidding guacamole.
2.) Are you guys crazy?
Yes.
3.) Who runs this nuthouse?
We have co-popes Dan, Katherine, and Brooke. Our webmasters are Pope Dan and Pope Katherine.
4.) Who let you out of the mental hospital?
The nice men in the white suits. But just for the weekend.
5.) What if i take you guys seriously and, say, make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land from my home in sunny California?
We would laugh at you. Heartily. And loudly. And tell all our friends about you, and they would laugh too.
This page is meant only as humor. Any resemblance between this page and an actual established religion is purely intentional, unless of course it is coincidental or is caused by a solar eclipse or an act of the Great Avocado. If you take us seriously, you:
a.)Need something to do even more desperately than we;
b.)Will be laughed off the planet.
6.) OK, now that we've established that church members are on a sanity level with Abbie Hoffman, what do you guys believe?
We believe in only one mandate, and that is to worship the Great Avocado. He is our creator and our benefactor, and He has revealed His Truth to us. The only sin you can commit in our church is the eating of Guacamole, for which you will be immediatley excommunicated. And looked at funny.
7.) I'm as messed up in the head as y'all, and i want to join you!
Great, because we'd love to have you. All you have to do is click on the link to our Feedback Form and say so. :)
8.) Um, didn't COTAV used to look absoultely nothing like this whatsoever?
No, it didn't. Pope Dan was our primary webmaster from August 1997, the Founding, until 1998. But then he went incommunicado for a while, and Pope Katherine, who by then had learned a vast amount of HTML and had picked up webmastering as a hobby, took over. The major site overhaul was prompted by our being featured in the Lincoln Journal-Star (see our news page for more information). We hope you like it this way, and again encourage you to use the feedback form to tell us what you think.