I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth,
But I believe he's a she.
Think about it.
Christmas is a big, organized,
warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal.
And I have a tough time believing
a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men
Don't even think about
selecting gifts until Christmas Eve.
Once at the mall, they always seem
surprised to find only Ronco products,
socket wrench sets, and moodrings
left on the shelves.
On this count alone, I'm convinced
Santa is a woman.
Surely, if Santa were a man,
everyone in the universe would wake up
Christmas morning to find a
rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree
Still in the bag.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer,
he'd still have transportation problems
because he would inevitably get lost up there
in the snow and clouds and then
refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Other reasons why ...
Santa can't possibly be a man:
Men can't pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead
than caught wearing red velvet.
Men would feel their masculinity is threatened ...
Having to be seen with all those elves.
Men don't answer their mail.
Men would refuse to allow their physique
To be described even in jest as anything
remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
Men aren't interested in stockings ...
Unless somebody's wearing them.
Finally, being responsible for Christmas
would require a commitment.
Have you ever wondered ...
Just for a second
That Santa is not a he?
Maybe Santa is a SHE!!!
Author ... unknown WOMAN
 
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More Holiday PagesFrom Darle's Realm
Christmas Holidays And The Grinch
Index To Darle's Realm
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