Now it's time to
tell a little bit about myself. I am a 26 year old submissive woman. I
use the word submissive in that sentance because it describes a very important
part of me that colors everything in my life.
I can't exactly say what makes me a submissive or why. It is just something
that feels natural and right to me. When I first started exploring this
side of myself, something clicked. Like a piece of me that had been missing
was suddenly there. A whole new world opened up around me. A world in which
I found that the feelings I was having were normal, and there were many
other people out there like me. Some of whom have become good friends that
I can lean on for support, help, and information when I need it.
I've been active in the BDSM communities where I have lived for the
past seven years. The first two of which I spent almost exclusively just
watching and learning all that I could about BDSM. The next five, I was
more invovlved in learning about myself, my likes and dislikes, and figuring
out exactly what I wanted. But I never stopped watching and learning, and
I never will.
I have had the chance to meet a lot of different people that follow
this lifestyle. They come from all walks of life. There is no specific
mold or type of Dominant or submissive. I myself don't fit what most people
would consider a typical submissive. Even if such a thing did exist.
I have a good job, own my own home, and I'm perfectly capable of taking
care of myself and making my own decisions. But the simple truth is that
I would choose not to. This part of me, this part which makes me a submissive
yearns for the one that I can give myself to completely. It's hard to explain
because both of those statements seem to contradict each other, but in
reality they don't.
To be able to submit to someone, to give of myself, there has to be
something to give. A whole person with their own thoughts, feelings, emotions,
opinions, everything. When most people think of a D/s relationship they
are really thinking of a co-dependent relationship where one partner relies
on the other for everything because they themselves are not capable. That
is not what D/s is about, and this is discussed in further detail in another
section. A true D/s relationship is a process, a delicate power exchange
of giving and taking on both sides, balanced only by the love the two have
created.
In my experiences I have met many Doms but never one that I truly felt
a connection with or wanted to have a lasting relationship with. There
were a couple with which I was on more than just friendly terms but things
did not work out. In a D/s relationship you still have all the problems
of any other relationship to deal with it. And as in any relationship there
are times when some of those problems cannot be solved and the relationship
has to end otherwise the two stop growing and stagnate, and any emotions
that are shared between them will wither and die.
A few years ago I moved to an area that does not have a D/s community.
It's a small town and things like that are frowned upon and kept hidden
if anyone has any interest at all. Because of this I turned to the on-line
arena. Not to look for someone, but to be able to have the company and
support of others that felt the way I do. A place where I could be myself
without having to deny any part of what makes me...me.
