The Brief and Confusing Intro
"Salutations and greetings. My name is Jones and, in lieu of the normal proprietor of this site (who was so upset by the political upheaval in Uganda he took to bed and swore never to leave it), I will take you about and around and show you many wondrous and beautiful things. You see, I have long dreamt of an opportunity of this sort, and I am so glad to finally have one that all vestiges of my sanity have been stripped away. I am now little more than a mindless animal, and I am happy about it! I love you all! Let's get on with it, dawgs and kackackats!
"Now before we look at the world and happily compare and contrast the multi-faceted jewels of Being and Knowing, I think you need a little bit of a preparation for what you will experience. You might not be at home with your thoughts and feelings, and that is bad business, as any banker could tell you, because if you don't know what you want, how can anyone else know what you want and, most importantly, how can you ransack and pillage without knowing what to ransack and pillage for?
"I have found in my days as a nonplused purveyor of all that is blasphemous that, whenever encountering something new and different, it is good to tell a story to yourself so that you can create an imaginary environment away from the rigors of your eight hour workday to view and appraise the information you're being supplied. To that end, I have created a sample tale to help you cope! Many kudos, frends and neighbors, if you do not need its aid and feel you can progress directly to the proving ground. See you someplace, homey, unless you perish in the apathetic flames of some hellish conflagration that springs up magically beneath your sinner's feet!"
Journey to the Center of the Nonentity
Or take a whole new path and see the site I created for a dear friend of mine here.
Wait one blimey second! What am I doing here? Flee!